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I received a message today from a man who wrote that he believed in being a gentleman, opening the doors for women, being chivalrous, and liked being with women who could appreciate this, not like all those woman-libers.

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I am also third wave ..trying to pick up after the "failures" and wreckage from 2nd wave..( that alienated men and woman)

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but how anyone made the leap from there to holding a door open for a lady was imposing their ideals that she was a lessor creature is beyond Me.

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I would like to ask just what the terms Post-Feminist and Third-Wave-Feminist mean.

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Characteristics of Third Wave Feminism

• Third Wave feminism celebrates women’s multiple and sometimes contradictory identities in today’s world. Third Wave feminists are encouraged to build their own identities from the available buffet, and to not worry if the items on their plate are not served together traditionally. Women can unapologetically celebrate a plate full of entrée choices like soccer mom, career woman, lover, wife, lesbian, activist, consumer, girly girl, tomboy, sweetheart, bitch, good girl, princess, or sex symbol.
  
• Third Wave feminism encourages personal empowerment and action. Third Wave feminists like to think of themselves as survivors, not victims.
  
• Although Third Wave feminists do not reject political activism, the emphasis is more on using one’s personal empowerment as a starting point for societal change.
  
• Third Wave feminism celebrates emotions and experiences that traditionally have been labelled as “unfeminine.” Women are invited to be angry, aggressive, and outspoken.
  
• Third Wave feminism celebrates women’s sexuality and encourages women to explore sexual options and express themselves in whatever ways they feel comfortable. The double standard and titles like “slut” are discarded. The female characters from Sex and the City can be seen as Third Wave feminist icons who do not apologize for their sexual relationships and adventures.
  
• Third Wave feminists celebrate diversity. The Women’s Liberation Movement often was criticized for focusing too narrowly on the experiences of middle-class, white, heterosexual women.
  
• As is characteristics of Generation X and Generation Y, Third Wave feminists express themselves through popular culture and use it in their personal journeys to define identity. They look for women, images, and musicians who represent their own struggles. They also take ironic pleasure in outrageously sexist or sexualized representations, like Paris Hilton or reality shows like America’s Next Top Model.
  

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the crazy feminists who go over having concern and seeking justified action, and get to a point of just joining the ranks of special interests groups who have no understanding to the word equality; those types have such a skewed way of looking at life that it's hard for them to appreciate anything and to stop questioning everyone's ulterior motives behind every word and action someone takes.

people like that are always on the defensive about anything involving them (or that could be metaphorically related to their behalf) but they'll also bash you in the face with their shield any chance they get it seems...

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i can see his point too, (in terms of not wanting to be with them) but it's obvious he's likewise on the defensive as well if he's so bitter about it that he has to make mention of them and his distaste for interacting on any level with them.

more importantly though, he certainly doesn't seem even close to a "chivalrous gentleman" after saying something like that.

i'd love to be able to personally point out to him that when the driving factor in your courtesy is the expectation of gratitude, and the goal of your generosity is to gain something in return; you are neither courteous nor generous.

if he was actually chivalrous or a gentleman he'd be content even when he goes 'harshly unappreciated' not just when he's 'enthusiastically appreciated' by others; he'd also not be choosing who he's courteous and generous to, or who is worth the effort.

being chivalrous and being a gentleman are based on personal values you have and uphold for yourself not for others, and NOT to ONE GENDER (or in his case, most likely only the 'cute' ones of one gender...) or with the expectation to be treated a certain way in return by others simply because you think they should feel obligated to think as much.

in my opinion... he's not being chivalrous, and he's no gentleman; he's just looking for self gratification from a specific crowd by "acting" a certain way rather than "being" what he claims, whether he's aware of it or not. totally defunct of the feminism topic, but it's obvious he's a lot more than just "not a feminist".

at the very least he seems to have forgotten modesty is a part of chivalry; being pompous doesn't doesn't make a good substitute.

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i have no love for "hardcore crazy women's rights movement overzealous feminists", but as a very (as i like to think of it) "down to earth" type of feminist myself, i'd have to say it's important to me that there are women in the world who would spit in even a real gentleman's face for jumping in front of them and slowing them down every time they try to open a door, or that would take offense to him thinking that a woman deserves "special" treatment.

my views on feminism and equality are simply in line with freedom and having as much right as anyone else is privy to. i'm glad there is such diversity among women that i could never expect to know anything about them or their life. only a fool would even want women as a whole or so much as their characteristics to be constrained to a very uniform and narrow range of diversity.

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reading his little line there, i would have to say i appreciate that his efforts go unappreciated by some women.

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I'd say that 'we're all feminists now'. It's just that it's unhip to wear those 'I'm a Feminist!' badges any more.

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Do you consider yourself a feminist?

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

believe in women's equality with men, and the right of women to be who they want to be and do what they want to do

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ORIGINAL: Lashra

I am very much a feminist. I believe that women should have equal rights and be seen as equal human beings. I also like my men to be gentlemen who open doors, pull out my chair at the dining table and who take their hat off indoors. The good thing about being a feminist is I can have both those things and be happy.

~Lashra