RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 11:46:47 AM)

I kept the baby. I loved him and took care of him and did not blame him or my life change on the rapist. Even when things were hellish. I am proud to say that he has just entered boot camp, in the Army in GA. He has married and a baby and has lived a good life with many things to be proud of.

Each person must decide for themselves what to do and it wasn't easy for me. I did think for a time about aborting him because my life was turned upside down and changed forever and I lost a relationship that was one I considered the love of my life over it all. But I am glad I did what I did and wouldn't take it back or be sorry about it. I decided and I lived with it and made the best of a tough situation that turned into many blessings.



breatheasone -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 11:47:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos,
Can I just say, this has got to be the Most Gracious Response to a Disagreement that I have ever seen in these here forums. There should be an award for that, but in lieu of that, please accept My compliments, both of you.

Very kind of you to say. Yes Lucy is a class act.... just being on the same thread with her makes me look better! [:)]



cpK69 -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 11:48:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i had an appt to have an abortion for my oldest(now 28 & has given me 2 grandbaby) i didn't show up for the appt, i was 17. Do you all realize had i kept that appt the 2 grandbabies i have that keep me broke wouldn't be here either!.... i PRAISE GOD EVERY DAY something changed my mind.



Okay. What does that have to do with your statement and my mother?

Kim 



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 11:53:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i had an appt to have an abortion for my oldest(now 28 & has given me 2 grandbaby) i didn't show up for the appt, i was 17. Do you all realize had i kept that appt the 2 grandbabies i have that keep me broke wouldn't be here either!.... i PRAISE GOD EVERY DAY something changed my mind.



I had an appointment to abort my daughter, Lessa Marie, when I was 19. I decided not to go through with it (and spoke with her daddy and explained that I knew it was a unilateral decision, and I didn't have any expectations from him other than the realization that this was the choice I felt was right for me to make).

I carried her for 8 months, 12 days, and ~ 9 hours (give or take swim time for the wigglers and drill time to get into the egg). She was beautiful, but so fragile -- a flaming redhead with almost transparent skin and no fingernails. She was only 2 lbs 6 oz when she was born (at 38+ weeks), with a congenitally damaged, calcified placenta (the blood vessels in the placenta were too thin and it had developed several aneurysms, resulting in 'dead' placental tissue over the course of the pregnancy).

She only lived 15 minutes. She would have been 26 on October 26th. Her daddy carried her ashes with him for almost 10 years (including carrying them to Iraq). If I'd had the abortion, I wouldn't have had to go through the grief of losing her within minutes of birth after having made the difficult decision to have her even though she was unplanned. I wouldn't have had to see the devastation on her father's face, and watched as he carried her around -- his personal burden -- even through the births of three more children. I also would probably not have become a midwife. Such are the roads that our decisions carry us down.

Not every decision has a pat, happy ending, even when you're making the best possible decision you can at the time -- but every decision still leaves its mark.

Calla



RapierFugue -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 12:00:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
I had an appointment to abort my daughter, Lessa Marie, when I was 19. I decided not to go through with it (and spoke with her daddy and explained that I knew it was a unilateral decision, and I didn't have any expectations from him other than the realization that this was the choice I felt was right for me to make).

I carried her for 8 months, 12 days, and ~ 9 hours (give or take swim time for the wigglers and drill time to get into the egg). She was beautiful, but so fragile -- a flaming redhead with almost transparent skin and no fingernails. She was only 2 lbs 6 oz when she was born (at 38+ weeks), with a congenitally damaged, calcified placenta. She only lived 15 minutes. She would have been 26 on October 26th. Her daddy carried her ashes with him for almost 10 years (including carrying them to Iraq). If I'd had the abortion, I wouldn't have had to go through the grief of losing her within minutes of birth after having made the difficult decision to have her even though she was unplanned. I wouldn't have had to see the devastation on her father's face, and watched as he carried her around -- his personal burden -- even through the births of three more children. I also would probably not have become a midwife. Such are the roads that our decisions carry us down.

Not every decision has a pat, happy ending, even when you're making the best possible decision you can at the time -- but every decision still leaves its mark.

I'm a somewhat cynical sod [1], but every so often I read something here that absolutely gobsmacks me, and that was one such post.

I honestly cannot comprehend what that situation must feel like to go through, and (no offence, though I'm sure none will be taken) I honestly hope I never do.

If you notice a small rustling noise in the next few minutes that'll be me counting my blessings.

[1] <fx: sarcastic voice from the forum: "Really? Fuck me with a fish fork, I never noticed that!">



breatheasone -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 12:01:56 PM)

cpK69, i sent your answer, you should have c-mail.



Lucylastic -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 12:08:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessImaginos,
Can I just say, this has got to be the Most Gracious Response to a Disagreement that I have ever seen in these here forums. There should be an award for that, but in lieu of that, please accept My compliments, both of you.

Very kind of you to say. Yes Lucy is a class act.... just being on the same thread with her makes me look better! [:)]


Why thankyou:) both of you... Im sitting here crying at the ladies who have shared their stories, The differences we all have never fails to amaze me, It is a subject I get emotional about, and I know most people do.  You made your choices.... I dont think anyone has that right to take it away.
Hugs to the ladies who have been thru difficult choices. I dont ever want to be in those shoes..Im just very glad I dont have to contemplate that choice again.



Hierodule -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 1:57:03 PM)

To me a baby is a choice. In an ideal situation, that choice is made before the cock goes in. If  2 people got together and made a mutal, concious decision to have a child everytime a new life was brought into the world, this world would be a better place.  It shouldn't just be:wow great sex! whoops I just created a life!

I have chosen not to have a baby every time I have ever had sex. In that way I exercise my right chose without chosing abortion. I know that mistakes are made and sometimes reality dictates that the choice be made after the woman is already pregnant. Again I do not think that is the ideal time to make that choice and it is a postition that I have succeeded in keeping myself out of.  I don't like the idea of having an abortion. Inside myself, I do feel that it is wrong, That's why I made damn sure I never had to have one. But just becasue I don't like them doesn't mean that I should deny others that right. Humans have free will . It is the responsibility of each individual woman to decide what is right for  her and her baby.


ETA:

My Mother almost aborted my Brother but decided against it at the last minute. I am so glad she decided to keep him. She ended up having an abortion when I was about 16. To that brother or sister that I could have had but didn't I honestly feel no loss. Does that make me heartless?



breatheasone -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 2:02:17 PM)

i'm willing to bet the human being that is in the womb would like a say in the "choice"....i bet the human being in the womb would like to have some rights.



Viridana -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 2:20:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

My Mother almost aborted my Brother but decided against it at the last minute. I am so glad she decided to keep him. She ended up having an abortion when I was about 16. To that brother or sister that I could have had but didn't I honestly feel no loss. Does that make me heartless?



No it doesn't make you heartless.
It makes perfect sense to me. 

I don't morn things that "could have been". And as such I feel no special loss when somebody uses the tired cliché on me: "well aren't you happy your mother didn't abort you?". I honestly don't care, if she would have then I wasn't meant to be here to begin with. Theres a population problem in this world and I'm just one of the herd. If me not being born was a contributing factor in containing the human population I have no problems with that. I'm expendable just like everybody else.

And after working in what I do for quite some time, it is plainly obvious that life isn't always a gift, and life isn't always the best choice.



Viridana -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 2:21:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i'm willing to bet the human being that is in the womb would like a say in the "choice"....


I'm willing to bet it doesn't......



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/16/2009 2:29:50 PM)

I don't let every seed carried by wind grow in my garden just because it is life. I do not let just any seed planted in my womb grow because it is life. I decided that I would give birth only to children I desired and could care for properly. The world needs more thought, less platitudes; more tolerance, less bigotry.

I have had an abortion. I do not regret it.



breatheasone -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/16/2009 2:46:15 PM)

If  feeling that a human being has rights, even though said human being isn't born yet makes me an intolerant bigot, cool...i'm an intolerant bigot...and i've had 2 abortions and i regret both of them.



Hierodule -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would ca (11/16/2009 7:26:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i'm willing to bet the human being that is in the womb would like a say in the "choice"....i bet the human being in the womb would like to have some rights.


In my personal belief system life has rights as an individual when it becomes an individual. That is, when it is capable of surviving outside of the mothers body. But I only get to decide what I believe for myself. If you believe that a soul enters the cells as soon as the sperm and egg touch, that is actually very beautiful. I respect your empathy for the child's soul, and I respect your right to not get an abortion.



eyesopened -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/17/2009 4:49:19 AM)

I totally respect everyone's right to choose.  The biggest thing that bothers me about the "right to life" is that no one seems terribly concerned about the kind of "life" a child has the "right" to.  Does the child have the right to be born drug-addicted, to be fed cocaine to silence her cries of hunger?  Does a child have the right to be born and then tossed in a dumpster?  It seems to be too many are having babies as simply a badge of honor to say "See?  I didn't have an abortion!  See?  Someone wanted to have sex with me!"

It seems too many folks are determined to make sure all pregnancies are carried to term without caring two farts in the wind about what happens after the cord is cut.

Until we start really caring, really putting children as a priority in our society, really finding and building resources to care for children; until we see that perhaps even children should have "rights" that go beyond birth...... But who am I kidding, that will never happen.



MsSpookshow -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/17/2009 4:59:52 AM)

I am Pro Choice as I believe that a woman should have a choice as to what she does with her own body. I would not give birth to a child that came from a rape, I could not handle seeing that child daily and remembering the event. Also as another poster said, prison sentances for rape are short, what if the rapist decides he does want to see the child? No, I would not want to deal with that.

I do know someone who was raped and had the child due to her religious beliefs. She lost her husband, her job and her family...why? Because she was white and the baby was racially mixed. The child had severe emotional issues all her life knowing she was a product of rape and what it had done to her Mothers life and family. I guess sometimes it could work, but sometimes it just will not.



sirsholly -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/17/2009 5:10:56 AM)

quote:

Does the child have the right to be born drug-addicted
in my opinion, the mother should be charged with child abuse...but that is a different thread.



breatheasone -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/17/2009 11:13:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Does the child have the right to be born drug-addicted
in my opinion, the mother should be charged with child abuse...but that is a different thread.

i agree with you holly.



Vendaval -> RE: Abortion comments!!!! I'm sure there is a Extremely small amount of Women here; that would carry (11/19/2009 1:42:40 AM)

Fast Reply -

This would be a very difficult, very private decision for any woman.  A big thank you for the shared stories.



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