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1- A GUY AND A GIRL MEET AT A BAR. THEY GET ALONG SO WELL THAT THEY
DECIDE TO GO TO THE GIRL'S PLACE.
A FEW DRINKS LATER, THE GUY TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT AND THEN WASHES HIS HANDS.
HE THEN TAKES OFF HIS TROUSERS AND WASHES HIS HANDS AGAIN.
THE GIRL HAS BEEN WATCHING HIM AND SAYS, "YOU MUST BE A DENTIST."
THE GUY, SURPRISED, SAYS, "YES, HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?"
EASY", SHE REPLIED, "YOU KEEP WASHING YOUR HANDS."
ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER AND THEY MAKE LOVE.
AFTER THEY ARE DONE, THE GIRL SAYS, "YOU MUST BE A GOOD DENTIST."
THE GUY, NOW WITH A BOOSTED EGO, SAYS, "SURE, I AM A GOOD DENTIST. HOW DID
YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?"
THE GIRL REPLIES....... "I DIDN'T FEEL A THING."
2- Three mice are sitting at a bar after the funeral of an Alabama mouse, who was killed by an 80-year-old lady with a broom. They are trying to impress each other with how tough they each are.
The Mississippi mouse throws down a shot of brandy, slams the empty glass down on the bar, turns to the Arkansas mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The Arkansas mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses down on the bar, turns to the Mississippi mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
They both turn to the Texan mouse. The Texan mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and have sex with the cat."
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2 jokes - 
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RE: 2 jokes - 
But... Texas mice really DO do that with some of those cats brought in from other states, especially from the north and east! 
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