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RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 1:18:15 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aphotic
FFS, ever read a fairy tale (since you mentioned dreams and fantasies)? Snow white had to make friends with the dwarves; Cinderella had to worry about turning back into rags; Romeo found love out of his despair from a previous relationship and you get the point.

This is a fantastic point. 

Heh.  The difference between a fairy tale and porn is that in the fairy tale you have to make friends with the woman first.  Curses.


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(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 1:21:23 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Thanks for handing me all that power.

quote:

ORIGINAL: howahkan

This has all become to hard. You all have succeeded in breaking my spirit. I give up on everything. goodbye.


I'm gonna be super nice, tho' it may seem hard, mean, harsh, & etc. I'm gonna give the OP the summed up, short-version of what I trained myself & my offspring to . . . . .

If I feel bad, I feel bad. No one 'makes' me feel any given way, I merely have feelings in reaction to what happens around me.

I control only me, no other. I can change only me (tho' I can try to be an influence, thus why we all post here, I suspect) . . . . .

If any one of us had some magic dial on our backs by which I could 'make' us feel one way or another, I'd set them all to 'happy' & break them. (Mostly so I wouldn't have to listen to all the whining anymore . . . . . . )



Ergo, there is no magic dial by which another 'makes' anyone feel anything. Feelings happen, they are biochemical events in the brain triggered by external & / or internal stimuli . . . . .

One owns one's own power, or one doesn't. One makes verbal choices everyday, moment-to-moment, to own or give away the power & control over one's life. & each & every word that flits thru the mind or slides out the mouth or thru the fingers is an immediate & continuous opportunity to take back that power & own one's control, power, & life again. (& words just happen to be +90% of how we interact here on CM . .. )

Try sticking to only talking about one's self, only discuss things from the perspective of "I feel . .. ", "I know . .. . . ", "My experience is . . . . . " & similar, & deliberately & thoroughly eliminate all or most of the 'you' statements in your language. Watch for that 'us versus them' mindset, & whenever one finds one's self slipping into that, force self to identify completely with both sides, especially the personally least likable side . . . .

Practice this assiduously for at least a few weeks; months would be better. The universe will probably test one's resolve, throw difficult cases one's way when it's the worst possible timing. Gird your loins. Hang tough. Do it as much as possible. I'm pretty confident that this approach has the potential to shift one's life . .. .

< Message edited by DemonKia -- 11/16/2009 1:23:36 PM >

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(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 1:25:44 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Kia you are ever so much nicer, and more patient, than I am lately.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 1:58:12 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Nothing like using a shovel to bury yourself and blaming the shovel.

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(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:09:05 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline 		*Brief pause then....*BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This is a joke, right? Damn if I didn't know better I'd be terrified of the Mistresses here. As it stands.......naaaaa, they just want a bit of respect just like everyone else.

Thanks for the warning but I'm going to ignore it, I'm far to busy chatting with the lovely ladies on these forums....

Zeph

*walks off chuckling to herself*


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(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:13:26 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		The rule of the hole:

When you are in one, STOP DIGGING.





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(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:26:40 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: howahkan

This has all become to hard.  You all have succeeded in breaking my spirit.  I give up on everything.  goodbye.

i bet an awful lot of people call you a doofus.


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(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:28:24 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I thought you were the doofus ultimatum? *runs*

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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:34:40 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		Eh. One perseveres, sometimes . .. . . . lol

There is very much a hormonal thing that goes on for me, I think.

I'm looking forward to the 'pause, cuz I'm thinking it's gonna be sorta like semi-permanent PMS? Since that's the cyclical time when the estrogen bottoms out? & that'll be good; I'm hard, & tough, & funny during PMS. & all the other stuff, well, it'll be the new stasis to adapt to . .. . lol



That's also some of the underlying logic I use in constructing my hypothesis that, at some point in the not-too-terribly-distant future, post-menopausal women are gonna simply take over the planet, overnight, more or less, in a, lol, bloodless coup . . . . .



quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Kia you are ever so much nicer, and more patient, than I am lately.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 2:54:11 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh no..........if I am involved there will be blood.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:03:02 PM   
angeldmort


Posts: 54
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:


Try sticking to only talking about one's self, only discuss things from the perspective of "I feel . .. ", "I know . .. . . ", "My experience is . . . . . " & similar, & deliberately & thoroughly eliminate all or most of the 'you' statements in your language. Watch for that 'us versus them' mindset, & whenever one finds one's self slipping into that, force self to identify completely with both sides, especially the personally least likable side . . . .

Are you suggesting Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? Like, taking responsibility for our own thoughts and feelings? But... that would be... effort! Who would we blame for our problems then?
Someone hold me... I'm scared.

Anyone else ever read HackYourself.org?

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:12:03 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I know I got a less than impressive email from a sad, pathetic and bitter individual.

Insert a dozen or so, more eye rolls.



Thats odd, I don`t even recall sending one.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:30:06 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Howahkan,

To me, it's all about understanding where the opposite side is coming from.  I have a theory as to why this can be so much more difficult between dominants and submissives, but I'll save it for later.  Suffice to say: it's hard, but it can be done.

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(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:32:14 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Howahkan,

To me, it's all about understanding where the opposite side is coming from.  I have a theory as to why this can be so much more difficult between dominants and submissives, but I'll save it for later.  Suffice to say: it's hard, but it can be done.


Theories are for sharing.......

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:35:22 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

This has all become to hard. You all have succeeded in breaking my spirit. I give up on everything. goodbye.


I've been off these boards for 4.5 years but I see some songs remain the same!

My advice. Come here with an open mind. Relax. Discuss. Learn. Debate respectfully. Breathe. Enjoy.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to howahkan)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:37:22 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett




Doesn't look very SSC! Ha!!
- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:40:32 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett




Doesn't look very SSC! Ha!!
- LA


Even a dead horse gets flogged more than me.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:43:45 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett




Doesn't look very SSC! Ha!!
- LA


Even a dead horse gets flogged more than me.


That's because you are a polite sub! If you were a rude sub, maybe someone would whip you!! Apparently we are all really mean here!!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/16/2009 3:44:17 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:50:56 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsStarlett




Doesn't look very SSC! Ha!!
- LA


Even a dead horse gets flogged more than me.


That's because you are a polite sub! If you were a rude sub, maybe someone would whip you!! Apparently we are all really mean here!!

- LA


Indeed Ma`am. I save my rudeness for the politics thread, not only that, but last time I was deliberately rude, all i got was an essay.

Nice avatar BTW.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Submissives/Slaves/Masochists – Read This Before ... - 11/16/2009 3:59:45 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Gotta love those writing assignments! I have yet to meet the man who tops or behaves badly to get one! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Politesub53)
Profile   Post #: 40
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