Submissive’s we love to love (Full Version)

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Lockit -> Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 10:56:28 AM)

We constantly see threads that discuss or ask for what a dominant wants in a submissive. We constantly see what seems to be a battle between women and men, dominant and submissive, in how they view things, what they want and arguments of what is right and wrong, fair and unfair. The topic has been discussed to the point of nausea and exhaustion.

I don’t wish to discuss what we want in a submissive or what we expect. I don’t want to argue between women and men, dominant and submissive and repeat it all over again. What I would like to do here is discuss the submissive’s we have loved, the submissive’s we do love and what makes them so special to us. These would be real experiences that we discuss; not our dream date/relationship or playmate. Go into as little or as much as you wish to share, but let’s give an example of the things dominant’s and submissive’s share that makes their relationship work.

I will start with a bit of what I have experienced. I won’t give all details, but hopefully enough to show what I have loved about a submissive I love.

From the very start, he has shown respect for me because he has seen me around and seen my posts, profile changes and journals, for some time. He wrote to me and shared how he felt about the things I say and talk about and that led to our getting to know one another on a deeper level. Much to our amazement and joy, we found kindred spirits who sought the same things in life, valued the same things, intelligence, heart and humor.

I loved that he could actually see who I was with no need to project or make me a fantasy and he knew how to treat me and himself as an adult who had lived life, learned a thing or two and could laugh and appreciate it all. He didn’t come as a doormat to my door, expecting to be stepped upon. He came as a man who is strong and knows right from wrong and about his own emotional make up and he blessed my life with it all. He proved to me who he was besides my having some idea of who he was as I had watched him conduct himself during a challenging time and I respected him for that.

He saw me. I saw him. We didn’t have any room for anything that would project into who and what we were. We liked what we saw and only grew to respect one another more and see that there was something very special between us. He surprises me all the time. He makes me smile all the time. Because over and over he proves to be a man who understands his own submission and my dominance and he values it all immensely! So much so that he has sacrificed a great deal to make something happen between us and while he allows himself to struggle a bit to have what we each want, I learn how much I mean to him because he is doing so. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he is honest and sincere and I have found the real deal… the one who stands a real chance of being what I have wanted and sought in life outside what I already have.

We enhance one another and I can’t help but love that!




Venatrix -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 11:47:19 AM)

Ah, that's easy:  the fresh flowers that were waiting for me when I checked into my hotel room, because he was afraid my room would be drab; the offer of a place for me and my cat to stay when I move to England; listening to me drone on about totally inconsequential things and treating them as if they were pearls of wisdom; remembering *everything* I say; anticipating what I want before I've even realised it myself; not focussing on the kink part of things, but letting that evolve naturally; really, just being a gentleman through and through, and keeping his word. 

(Bet you lot didn't think I'd be posting something like this so soon, eh?)




CarrieO -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 11:55:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Ah, that's easy:  the fresh flowers that were waiting for me when I checked into my hotel room, because he was afraid my room would be drab; the offer of a place for me and my cat to stay when I move to England; listening to me drone on about totally inconsequential things and treating them as if they were pearls of wisdom; remembering *everything* I say; anticipating what I want before I've even realised it myself; not focussing on the kink part of things, but letting that evolve naturally; really, just being a gentleman through and through, and keeping his word. 

(Bet you lot didn't think I'd be posting something like this so soon, eh?)


Okay...that's what I want for christmas!  




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 11:59:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Ah, that's easy:  the fresh flowers that were waiting for me when I checked into my hotel room, because he was afraid my room would be drab; the offer of a place for me and my cat to stay when I move to England; listening to me drone on about totally inconsequential things and treating them as if they were pearls of wisdom; remembering *everything* I say; anticipating what I want before I've even realised it myself; not focussing on the kink part of things, but letting that evolve naturally; really, just being a gentleman through and through, and keeping his word. 

(Bet you lot didn't think I'd be posting something like this so soon, eh?)


LOL... I have stopped making bets like that, seeing as though it happened to me too! When you know you have a good thing... you know it. It isn't fantasy or wishful thinking or denial of anything. A smart woman pays attention to the things you just shared and knows when to tie the deal up! lol We can hold off... we can continue to watch things evolve and we can temper that excited or whatever... but when it is time, we know it.

Personally I burned the red flag with this one... it wasn't needed anymore! lol

Have fun... enjoy and I am very happy for you both! Thank you for sharing with us!




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 12:47:04 PM)

I got a wonderful email because of this thread and I want to thank the sender for the beautiful things he said!

I would like to add... After a number of threads, posts and comment's that had some pretty negative and serious things to say... I thought this topic might be good and was willing to share a bit I have been holding back on and a bit sooner than I would typically be comfortable with, but it's all good! lol I actually want to share it with my special guy when he has some time to be here. I may even share some past relationships and how we worked things and what our dynamic's were and how we weren't living a lifestyle and didn't have titles... but were very much a role reversal when they were rare and how wonderful they were.

I would like to hear about some of the things we dominant's do for our submissive's that make our relationships what they are.

One thing I did was let go of some hard fast rules I had created from being on a site like this and I waited and had patience to see what he was really about and didn't let any other influence how I saw him. I was soooo rewarded for my patience and so thankful I knew when to give patience and give him time to show me I didn't really need patience because he was different. I didn't treat him like any other and he didn't act like most others. When I might want to say... okay... here it comes... he always had a different answer and assured me that he was who he was and who he was presenting.

I gave him consistancy in how I dealt with him and life and no room to doubt, which created a safe place for him to open himself up honestly and without hindrence and boy did he ever! I showed him that I appreciated him and that it wasn't all about me, but about us both and I showed him that I wasn't needy for him, but had need of him.





LadyPact -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 12:57:29 PM)

How long have you got?  LOL.

I kind of got surprised by clip.  From the very first contact that I had from him, to him following through on wanting to drive three hours to meet Me even though there wasn't going to be any play involved (for him), showed Me that he was willing to do more than pay lip service.  This was something that he wanted and was willing to go to the lengths to get it.

There was never an issue with him going at My pace.  Not in any area.  That goes for how long it took for him to go from play partner to being under My consideration, how much time I could give him, or anything else.  I didn't ever feel like his fetish connection, even when we were just top and bottom.  I was absolutely appreciated whether something was great or small.

I was so pleased when he showed such a zest for this lifestyle.  As soon as I told him how important community was to Me, he threw himself right in there.  Often, he'd go out of his way to work on events within the community and be such an asset.  In no time at all, people learned they could rely on him if they ever needed assistance with any kind of work that needed done. 

It wasn't just the public side, either.  Privately, he did the same thing.  When it came to hours upon hours of talks about how I conducted D/s dynamics, he absorbed everything like a sponge.  Since he was rather new to all of this, he gladly accepted the fact that I wanted him to be educated on the subjects of kinky play, authority relationships, and all types of other things.  On most topics, he can tell you My opinion on matters, because he actually does listen to the way I feel about whatever is at hand.

All of that is over and above who he is as a person.  The boy has a positive attitude that can infect an entire room.  The sense of humor that he has could brighten anyone's day.  I never cease to be amazed by his intelligence or his compassion for others.  Along with that, he's the adventurous type that meshes so well with Me.

I'm not trying to paint the perfect picture here.  My boy does have his faults, but he understands that I have Mine, too.  That's something that isn't just accepted, but embraced.

Love was something that came into this dynamic over time.  I think both My slave and I are very glad that it did.




IBused -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 3:11:03 PM)

adopt puppies and kitties from the shelter.....enough said, as I get off my platform, but those are the ones that have been rescued by a sub who has a heart as big as the horizon......just wish I knew where to put up these animals when I travel....kennels are expensive and good neighbors are rare.  




LadyAngelika -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 4:21:17 PM)

quote:

Go into as little or as much as you wish to share, but let’s give an example of the things dominant’s and submissive’s share that makes their relationship work.


Firstly, thanks for this. Reminds me of topics I used to post back in the day! It's nice to come back to these kinds of posts :-)

You also permitted me to have a nice trip down memory lane (seeing as though I'm single at the moment) and I went back to read some of my older posts where I wrote about these dynamics.

The relationships I've had with my boys were awesome (I've always called men who were submissive to me, my boys). I would be a liar if I told you that there was never any struggle. Obviously, the relationships were awesome because the struggles were greatly outnumbered by the "everything falling easily into place" times. But nevertheless, there were struggles. Now struggles don’t mean fights. Struggles simply mean: "having a hard time with something". We can go through the struggle together, both learning from the situation and having our relationship grow stronger.

I like to see a boy struggle actually, and I love that it makes him face his fears. Seeing a man take what I can dish out is a turn on in all sense of the word. Since I'm a sensual sadist who has a penchant for predicament bondage, a whole new layer of struggle presents itself in my relationships. Call me twisted, but it is such a thrill to see a boy suffer willingly for me. I feel that making it through those struggles made us closer as well.

I've made no secret that some of my fetishes are chivilry, masculinity and virility. I've often gone for intelligent, successful, socially dominant men. I've always looked at my boy as my protector. I often say that a good submissive boy is like a guard dog. He is stands proud, is impressive and intimidating somewhat to others, ensures my safety and comfort, is alert and ready for anything, is at my feet and obeying my every command. I like a man to open doors for me, help me with my coat, walk out the curb side of the sidewalk, pull my chair, get up when I excuse myself from the table. I expect that a man ensure my safety and comfort but in a strong, confident way.

All those that I've called my boy fit this description. When I was with them, I felt like a Queen on top of the world. They were my knights that would do anything for their Queen. Fairytale, maybe. Blissful, really. I feel fortunate that I got to experience those moments with the wonderful boys who crossed my path and I look forward to more in the near future.

- LA




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 5:55:21 PM)

Lady Pact, that is another beautiful post!

I do believe that this is the sort of post that can inspire people on both sides of that slash! Thank you for the beautiful view into your wonderful clip and the wonderful ways he blesses not only you, but other's through you that you introduced him to! It is so refreshing to hear of dominant's and submissive's the like's of you both!




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 5:57:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IBused

adopt puppies and kitties from the shelter.....enough said, as I get off my platform, but those are the ones that have been rescued by a sub who has a heart as big as the horizon......just wish I knew where to put up these animals when I travel....kennels are expensive and good neighbors are rare.  


A good heart is a must have! Maybe one day you can find a dominant that shares your love and will share in the care of them when away.




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 6:10:35 PM)

Thank you Lady Angelika! It is wonderful to see through the eye's of another, what joy's other's have had with their relationships! I could so relate to a great deal of what you said.

We were just talking about the work it takes, the struggles and the joys of doing the work to make things what we want them to be.

I love how you discribe your protector and gentleman and do so love when my man can be all these things and treat me like a queen. Lately I am feeling like I wear a crown of jewels provided by my bull dog! I know he has my back and I have his and it's a wonderful thing!

It is very nice to meet you and to read all your post! Thank you!




LadyPact -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 6:15:49 PM)

Thank you very much, Lockit.  And thank you for starting a great, positive thread.




LadyAngelika -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 6:21:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Thank you Lady Angelika! It is wonderful to see through the eye's of another, what joy's other's have had with their relationships! I could so relate to a great deal of what you said.

We were just talking about the work it takes, the struggles and the joys of doing the work to make things what we want them to be.

I love how you discribe your protector and gentleman and do so love when my man can be all these things and treat me like a queen. Lately I am feeling like I wear a crown of jewels provided by my bull dog! I know he has my back and I have his and it's a wonderful thing!

It is very nice to meet you and to read all your post! Thank you!


It was my pleasure! I'm so happy for you that you seem to have found a good man!

- LA




Lockit -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 6:38:48 PM)

Thank you Lady Angelika! I have never wanted to be called a Queen, just treated like one! lol... But he truely makes me feel like a Queen and when he calls me his Queen... well, let's just say it is having a special effect upon me!

I am a rough talkin queen! lol And it's nice to find someone who fits... He saw this thread and thanked me and said... in part... You are simply the freaking best! lol Yeah... we fit and he is a good man! lol

I do hope you will find someone who can bring all you desire!




PeonForHer -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 6:43:49 PM)

I kind of knew it would be you who'd start a thread like this.  Thank you, Lockit.




SthrnCom4t -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 9:46:24 PM)

Fast read/reply

Had a chance to read thus far, but no time to post tonight. Thank you all for sharing so much positive energy. I will make it back around this way sometime in the next week and likely be posting about page 57 :).

Thank you for a smile tonight,




Underumam -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/16/2009 10:21:43 PM)

I guess my Queen is slumbering..lol. (good nite my M'Lady.)




GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/17/2009 3:18:54 AM)

OP:

HOW wonderful...[:D]


MY DEAR SEMOS>..

He drives 300 mi to rake my leaves.
HE.is sooo intelligent.
We study books together and alternate spiritual paths..

He acts without hesitation because I am his EMPRESS as he says.
His face lights up when I come in the room and my heart jumps when I see him.

His big arms have held me as I cried and I have held him as he did.
He is at ease with his destiny to serve with love ...

He walks proud beside me and I am so proud of all the baggage and heart ache he has dealt with.


He loves nature and has built a cabin and we are planning a garden there

We let go of labels and "how-tos"

There is a peace at last for me with him I have not felt since my husband died and my 20 year POLY home came to a closure

I am indeed blessed
and I met him on HERE...[:D]


GM




NovelApproach -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/17/2009 3:28:09 AM)

I adore my Kitty.  He's my best friend as well as my lover, and we compliment and complete each other in all sorts of ways both in and out of the bedroom.  We met in a foreign language class some four years ago, and clicked from almost the first day.  We supported each other as we were navigating our way out of messy relationships, and turned to one another for comfort.  He was a little inexperienced, and very vanilla, but was willing to experiment to make me happy.  That willingness to step outside of his comfort zone to please me has been a consistent trait that always makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.  I love that we share so many of the same interests as well - paintball, music, tabletop gaming, miniature painting, theatre - he never fails to engage my intellect, and I love the philosophical discussions we often have late at night.  He's spontaneously affectionate, and we're well known in our social circle for being a "painfully cute" couple.  He respects and trusts me, more than anyone I know, as I respect and trust him more than anyone else.  He takes care of me when I need it, and lets me take care of him when he needs it, but we do our best to respect each other's need to do things for ourselves.  Sure, we have our off days, but we always manage to stop and talk things out.  We expect to be together for a very long time.

I'm also very fond of my new boy, CB, for whom I have yet to find an appropriate nickname.  He began as my friend, and then became my student.  He's in good physical shape and very strong-willed.  I can be rougher with him than I can with Kitty, and I deeply enjoy knowing that he can take anything I dish out and challenge me to give him more, even though he doesn't get anything out of it except the knowledge that I am enjoying myself and the opportunity to test his pain tolerance.  He, too, is eager to please, and a quick learner.  When I tell him how to do something, he often repeats it back quietly to himself, and I know he's memorizing it word-for-word.  And when he does whatever I've explained later, he gets it exactly right.  Even though he has a social disability, he works hard to get around it, and never makes excuses for himself.  I respect that so much about him.  CB has also been a wonderful friend - he gave up sleep after working graveyard shifts and placed himself at my beck and call in case I needed a ride or a hug while my grandfather was dying of cancer.  When Poppa finally did pass, it was CB who held me and encouraged me to cry it out and made sure I was never alone unless I wanted to be.  (Kitty was also wonderful, but a little bewildered as to how best to handle my grief, and quite frankly couldn't take time off of work.)

Both of them enrich my life so much just by being my friends, and I hope I do the same for them.




pixelslave -> RE: Submissive’s we love to love (11/17/2009 7:38:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
He saw me. I saw him. We didn’t have any room for anything that would project into who and what we were. We liked what we saw and only grew to respect one another more and see that there was something very special between us. He surprises me all the time. He makes me smile all the time. Because over and over he proves to be a man who understands his own submission and my dominance and he values it all immensely! So much so that he has sacrificed a great deal to make something happen between us and while he allows himself to struggle a bit to have what we each want, I learn how much I mean to him because he is doing so. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that he is honest and sincere and I have found the real deal… the one who stands a real chance of being what I have wanted and sought in life outside what I already have.

We enhance one another and I can’t help but love that!



Congratulations Lockit. I'm very happy for you. You deserve the best. [:D]

- pixel





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