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RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 4:43:15 PM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I don't. Your sexual orientation is about the genders you want to bang. It's not your romantic orientation. The two just usually line up.


It may not be as precise as you think it should be, but how is it inaccurate? It's just kind of a big flag saying "ask me in more detail about the contours of my sexuality." Not everyone is comfortable with labels. I think his description gives potential partners enough heads up (I seem to have caught a pun bug this week) as to the situation to know to ask for more detail as they require.

See I think it says "I don't want to say that I'm not straight". Whereas if he just says "Hey, it's complicated ask me" that makes perfect sense to me.
quote:



We're talking about a guy with the handle "strip my manhood," who is exploring the possibility of being sexually dominated by a man. I'm not really worried about the guy clinging to vestiges of hetero-normative privilege. It's not like Larry Craig saying "I'm mostly straight."



I didn't say I was worried. I just said I don't think it's accurate because who he is interested in romantically doesn't have a damn thing to do with his sexuality, which is his reasoning. The term hetero, bi, and homo sexual all end in sex. Not eros.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 4:44:57 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

thank you Lucienne...for getting my reasoning...it seems many don't agree with it...but perhaps there are ways they describe themselves that i wouldn't agree with...you can't make everyone happy, i guess...but it's good to see someone knows what i mean by the term...one thing i've found over the years in bdsm is that when people describe themself differently....it becomes a challenge...especially in a forum like this, to try and get someone to change their mind...




Oh I know what you mean by it. I just find your reasoning for the term to be quite flawed. Honestly, I prefer heteroflexible to "mostly straight cause I only love women". I don't so much have an issue with your choice but your logic.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 5:26:49 PM   
peppermint


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I've seen what you describe in men who are in their 50s and 60s.  The reason, I believe is that these men are still highly sexual but it's not so easy to find a female partner anymore.  It's not like 30 years ago when it was nothing to pick up some girl at a bar, take her home, and do the deed.  First, AIDS changed the pick up scene.  Second, when a man is getting older he is not as attractive to as many women as he was when he was 25, young, dumb, and full of cum. 

As a result these men who 20 years ago might have been gay bashing are now thinking that being sexual with a man might not be such a bad idea.  These very same men will often return to considering themselves heterosexual if and when they find a regular female partner.

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
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RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 5:36:53 PM   
Lucienne


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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I've seen what you describe in men who are in their 50s and 60s.  The reason, I believe is that these men are still highly sexual but it's not so easy to find a female partner anymore.  It's not like 30 years ago when it was nothing to pick up some girl at a bar, take her home, and do the deed.  First, AIDS changed the pick up scene.  Second, when a man is getting older he is not as attractive to as many women as he was when he was 25, young, dumb, and full of cum. 

As a result these men who 20 years ago might have been gay bashing are now thinking that being sexual with a man might not be such a bad idea.  These very same men will often return to considering themselves heterosexual if and when they find a regular female partner.



That's a pretty broad and, as far as I know, completed unsupported theory of situational homosexuality.

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 5:44:18 PM   
peppermint


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From: Montana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I've seen what you describe in men who are in their 50s and 60s.  The reason, I believe is that these men are still highly sexual but it's not so easy to find a female partner anymore.  It's not like 30 years ago when it was nothing to pick up some girl at a bar, take her home, and do the deed.  First, AIDS changed the pick up scene.  Second, when a man is getting older he is not as attractive to as many women as he was when he was 25, young, dumb, and full of cum. 

As a result these men who 20 years ago might have been gay bashing are now thinking that being sexual with a man might not be such a bad idea.  These very same men will often return to considering themselves heterosexual if and when they find a regular female partner.



That's a pretty broad and, as far as I know, completed unsupported theory of situational homosexuality.



Sorry, I just tell what I know from my own experience.  In fact before I posted my reply I had a male friend who is just one of the examples I know of read over my reply before I posted.  He said it sounded very much like his own personal situation.  I have not taken classes in psychology and have no professional knowledge of situational homosexuality.  The OP asked if anyone knew of others experiencing anything similar as they got older, and I answered that I know several.  I was not intending to give any professional advice that can be proved through medical research papers. 

(in reply to Lucienne)
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RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 6:00:42 PM   
CelticSubM


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quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

I've seen what you describe in men who are in their 50s and 60s.  The reason, I believe is that these men are still highly sexual but it's not so easy to find a female partner anymore.  It's not like 30 years ago when it was nothing to pick up some girl at a bar, take her home, and do the deed.  First, AIDS changed the pick up scene.  Second, when a man is getting older he is not as attractive to as many women as he was when he was 25, young, dumb, and full of cum. 

As a result these men who 20 years ago might have been gay bashing are now thinking that being sexual with a man might not be such a bad idea.  These very same men will often return to considering themselves heterosexual if and when they find a regular female partner.




Generally speaking, it's easier for men in their 50's and 60's to find a female partner. Women have a longer life expectancy than men, and most women prefer a partner their own age or older. That means the pool of potential partners for a man over 50 is much larger than for a woman the same age. (Remember the movie Something's Gotta Give? That was comedy, but there is a lot of truth in the premise.)

As a man over fifty who has no same sex experiences or desires, I suppose I'm not the ideal one to be responding to this issue. I suspect that there are many submissives (and dominants) for whom the lure of the forbidden, the transgressive is very strong. Some may choose to experience same sex activity for that reason alone. For others, it may be simply a form of "one-upmanship". Some dominants and submissives seem to have a kind of arms race mentality, as if they are engaged in a competition to see who can demand or offer the most extreme acts.

The major factor though, I suspect, is simply that the societal stigma attached to same sex activities has decreased enormously over the last generation. The emergence of a pansexual bdsm community has made same sex connections available to many persons who wouldn't have known how to go about finding them previously. That means the threshold, the level of interest or desire needed for someone to experiment with same sex eroticism, is a lot lower than it was a generation ago. Hence there are probably a lot of men over 50 who always had some curiosity or interest, but not enough to make it seem worthwhile to do anything about it. Now that it's easier to do something about it, many of those will choose to do so.

(in reply to peppermint)
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RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 6:21:12 PM   
stripmymanhood


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then that's how you should describe yourself...as heteroflexible...i get it, you don't like my description of myself...well, i really can't concern myself with that...you define who you are, let me define who i am...

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

thank you Lucienne...for getting my reasoning...it seems many don't agree with it...but perhaps there are ways they describe themselves that i wouldn't agree with...you can't make everyone happy, i guess...but it's good to see someone knows what i mean by the term...one thing i've found over the years in bdsm is that when people describe themself differently....it becomes a challenge...especially in a forum like this, to try and get someone to change their mind...




Oh I know what you mean by it. I just find your reasoning for the term to be quite flawed. Honestly, I prefer heteroflexible to "mostly straight cause I only love women". I don't so much have an issue with your choice but your logic.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 6:44:16 PM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
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I am 100 % straight but has always had a great tolerance towards homosekseksual, which often led to friendship with them. The subject OP brings up i have often heard discussed there. It is much more common than generally believed. Any gay bar will see quite a few of them coming in on infrequent basis. Some just to have a look as the most of them would say if asked, but seeing them pair of with somebody for a quickie or a one night stand is quite normal. I also saw a dokumentary where a few young boy pros was interviewed and they told that the major source of their income was married men, out for crossing the occasional gender bender line. So straight 360 days a year and gay 5 i would say, probably need a box to tick.

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/27/2009 10:01:37 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

then that's how you should describe yourself...as heteroflexible...i get it, you don't like my description of myself...well, i really can't concern myself with that...you define who you are, let me define who i am...

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

thank you Lucienne...for getting my reasoning...it seems many don't agree with it...but perhaps there are ways they describe themselves that i wouldn't agree with...you can't make everyone happy, i guess...but it's good to see someone knows what i mean by the term...one thing i've found over the years in bdsm is that when people describe themself differently....it becomes a challenge...especially in a forum like this, to try and get someone to change their mind...




Oh I know what you mean by it. I just find your reasoning for the term to be quite flawed. Honestly, I prefer heteroflexible to "mostly straight cause I only love women". I don't so much have an issue with your choice but your logic.




Again you missed my point.

Define yourself however you bloody want. I'm all for that. But that doesn't mean I'll agree with your logic in how you come to that defination and I feel your logic here is extremely faulty as sexual orientation is about who you want to have sex with, not who you want to marry.

Hell if it makes you happy, call yourself a macho nacho cruncher. But if you say you are one cause you really have a thing for pringles, I'd be confused as well.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/27/2009 10:02:12 PM >


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/28/2009 5:44:57 AM   
stripmymanhood


Posts: 124
Joined: 9/27/2007
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i didn't miss your point...i just don't agree with it...what say we agree to disagree

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

then that's how you should describe yourself...as heteroflexible...i get it, you don't like my description of myself...well, i really can't concern myself with that...you define who you are, let me define who i am...

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

thank you Lucienne...for getting my reasoning...it seems many don't agree with it...but perhaps there are ways they describe themselves that i wouldn't agree with...you can't make everyone happy, i guess...but it's good to see someone knows what i mean by the term...one thing i've found over the years in bdsm is that when people describe themself differently....it becomes a challenge...especially in a forum like this, to try and get someone to change their mind...




Oh I know what you mean by it. I just find your reasoning for the term to be quite flawed. Honestly, I prefer heteroflexible to "mostly straight cause I only love women". I don't so much have an issue with your choice but your logic.




Again you missed my point.

Define yourself however you bloody want. I'm all for that. But that doesn't mean I'll agree with your logic in how you come to that defination and I feel your logic here is extremely faulty as sexual orientation is about who you want to have sex with, not who you want to marry.

Hell if it makes you happy, call yourself a macho nacho cruncher. But if you say you are one cause you really have a thing for pringles, I'd be confused as well.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/28/2009 10:27:07 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

i didn't miss your point...i just don't agree with it...what say we agree to disagree



Works for me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/28/2009 1:27:54 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood

To the Masters....have you run into it often when men reach a certain age and suddenly decide they want to get fucked instead of fucking another...all through my 20s and 30s...i never had any desire of this sort...but for the last few years, i find i'm thinking more about having a man just take me...rough and hard...even now...thinking about it makes me get more of a 'stirring' than if i'm thinking about having sex with a woman....i'm just curious what your thoughts and experiences are with this.



No, and no interest to do so

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: question from a (mostly) straight male - 11/29/2009 8:40:48 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stripmymanhood
To the Masters....have you run into it often when men reach a certain age and suddenly decide they want to get fucked instead of fucking another...all through my 20s and 30s...i never had any desire of this sort...but for the last few years, i find i'm thinking more about having a man just take me...rough and hard...even now...thinking about it makes me get more of a 'stirring' than if i'm thinking about having sex with a woman....i'm just curious what your thoughts and experiences are with this.


I'm guessing that it is a trend that may be more prevalent among submissive men who wear women's undergarments and less prevalent among the male population as a whole. It's certainly an urge I have never had to struggle with.

I read an editorial piece many years ago in which the author suggested that sex would become asexual over time and specific sexual orientations would be moot. No real research to back up his assertion - just really a guess on his part. I do feel that the different sexual orientations will become less significant over time (i.e. our differences in that regard will become more accepted on a widespread basis) but I doubt that the species will ever actually ever go truly asexual at some point.




_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to stripmymanhood)
Profile   Post #: 53
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