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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 6:52:42 PM

slavekal

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For me, if they are very religious, it's kind of a deal breaker. Must be drug free. Must be at most a moderate drinker. And very smart.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 10:58:49 PM

dreamerdreaming

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Impeccable character. (Honesty, integrity, trustworthyness, etc.)

And good communication skills, emotional availability, and a sense of humor like mine. And a world view and goals, that closely match my own.

We must fit well together in and out of bed.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 11:01:39 PM

breatheasone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

We must fit well together in and out of bed.

Exactly.... verily, verily, If you don't have BOTH...you won't last P-E-R-I-O-D. If i had some of those point thingys i'd give you a few!

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 11:37:08 PM

EbonyWood

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My 'must have' is a person who doesnt make lists of must haves. (Kicks paradox monster in the ass)

Am I going for a job interview? Buying from a catalogue? (Cynics- stop nodding)

Lists constrict creative thinking and discovery, 2 big TO's on my list. Ok, gotta stop now..

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 11:46:59 PM

breatheasone

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WTF? the above post made me go back, and reread my original post..... but hey...its a discussion board, so you take what you get eh? LOL

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/17/2009 11:56:54 PM

EbonyWood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

WTF? the above post made me go back, and reread my original post..... but hey...its a discussion board, so you take what you get eh? LOL

I'm not criticising the post, just giving an alternative angle. If it made you do a rethink, that's a good thing, right?

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 12:12:33 AM

breatheasone

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Well....thats not exactly what i meant...i didn't see what you were referring to...i never mentioned a list of ANY kind. the word list isn't even in my post...and i don't remember saying anything about restricting anyone in anyway..... so i just didn't get how your reply connected to the post i made.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 12:30:30 AM

Llyren

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EW, are you honestly saying there is nothing that is really important to you in a partner? I think you're more objecting to the idea of someone having a laundry list of qualities they check off, but I think everyone does, if only subconsciously. I don't cold-bloodedly look at someone and tick off points, but things like compassion, intelligence, and a sense of humour are essential.

If there are no must haves, does that mean you'd settle for some stupid, vicious, apathetic person?

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 1:11:28 AM

EbonyWood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Well....thats not exactly what i meant...i didn't see what you were referring to...i never mentioned a list of ANY kind. the word list isn't even in my post...and i don't remember saying anything about restricting anyone in anyway..... so i just didn't get how your reply connected to the post i made.

It only matters what you meant if you are trying to limit the scope of your responses.. My reply ie opinion, is what it is. You have previously stated that this is a discussion board, so I'm not sure why you seem opposed to widening the discussion. But to make you happy, I will make a deal with you. I won't partake in your polls.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 1:15:45 AM

EbonyWood

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

EW, are you honestly saying there is nothing that is really important to you in a partner? I think you're more objecting to the idea of someone having a laundry list of qualities they check off, but I think everyone does, if only subconsciously. I don't cold-bloodedly look at someone and tick off points, but things like compassion, intelligence, and a sense of humour are essential.

If there are no must haves, does that mean you'd settle for some stupid, vicious, apathetic person?

No, Yes, I agree, and No.

To Point 3 (sense of humor), I would hope an understanding of irony is included.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 1:21:25 AM

DesFIP

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I find it fascinating that there aren't any qualities or characteristics that attract you, EW. I am sufficiently self aware to know that in certain areas I can be very picky, or shallow if you prefer. But in my whole life I've never found a red haired man hot. They can be aesthetically good looking but they just don't do it for me. So my must have list does include those things that I know will do it for me. Both physically, and otherwise.

Most people tend to look for certain things in a partner. They don't go from a short plumb person one week to a tall willowy the next. Or a bubbling personality to a dour one. For those of us who are attracted to a certain type, it makes sense to look at possible partners who have those things, and not to try with people who don't when we know from experience that it won't work.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 11/18/2009 1:24:30 AM >

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 1:57:15 AM

ranja

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oh that reminds me that i used to fancy Mick Hucknal from Simply Red.... oh i used to think he was dead sexy.... but then i have never been into aesthetically good looking people...

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 2:19:06 AM

Llyren

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Classically handsome has never appealed to me. I've always been more interested in quirky guys. I've had a crush on Clancy Brown for years.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 5:29:28 AM

youngsubgeoff

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She must understand that there has been alot if pain inflicted over the last few years of my life, and that sometimes it gets to me
She must understand that I need a friend and lover as much as I need a mistress
She must have her own life, interests, etc
She must have her own means of supporting herself
She must be able to see that I have faults and make mistakes, and admit that she's just as human as I am
She must realize that Im not always easy to live with, but that I always come around and strive to be a better person

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 8:07:45 AM

breatheasone

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i was talking to my mom about "must haves" She told me for some men the only must have is a pulse. i have to admit i chuckled at that for a while!

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 9:54:42 AM

UniqueRaven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i was talking to my mom about "must haves" She told me for some men the only must have is a pulse. i have to admit i chuckled at that for a while!

Well, i've been told before as a slave that all that is required is three holes, two tits and a heartbeat....which i have to admit made me really, really hot.

julie (who will hopefully be owned again soon - Yay!)

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 9:56:48 AM

breatheasone

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LOL, ok julie, to each their own. Good luck on your search.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 10:36:35 AM

kyraofMists

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Male
I must perceive him as dominant... much like the power that Celeste mentioned.
He must have a character that I admire

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 12:20:56 PM

HisSweetElysium

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I actually did an exercise with this recently, wow I have a long list but I'll narrow it down to the four major points:
1. Intelligent--this is nonnegotiable, I'm a creative, educated woman, I do not suffer fools, and they certainly don't Dom me!

2. Attractive--yes I am this shallow. If I'm not sexually attracted to you, it's not going anywhere. Therefore, you should be over 6 ft tall, slender and muscular without being freakish about it, in possession of all your teeth, minimal body hair or the ability to groom yourself to that specification. I'm tattooed and pierced, but it's not a prerequisite for others.

3. Strength/Confidence--Charisma means so much, and I need a man who projects the strength of character that I find compelling. He needs to be assertive and dominant without being offensive an overly aggressive in social situations. He needs to be secure in himself to know that when a man admires me, he should feel pride and love because I am his, not the desire to pound the other man into a pulp which is childish and while maybe once is a bit flattering, gets VERY old.

4. Empathy/Passion--He needs to understand me and my volatile emotions, and embrace them, cherish them, and mirror back love and acceptance. If I am to submit I need to know he is capable of controlling the things inside me that flare up sometimes. If I am to be open and transparent in my emotions and thoughts I need to know I will not be judged but supported and loved for them.

Tall order, but I am a lucky girl indeed to have found Master. These things just scratch the surface of His attributes.

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RE: Your Must Have... - 11/18/2009 12:26:40 PM

breatheasone

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Very cool, i'm glad you have that. i think some "must haves" you just know you need, and some you learn you need. Do you know what i mean?

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