RE: A False Sense of Security

RE: A False Sense of Security (Full Version)

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rockspider -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 3:09:47 AM)
Well the odds of finding 2 psychopats in a D/s relationship is cloose to zero. That is something which can be clearly seen from the dynamics of the psychopaths mind. Neither have i never seen a case of criminal serial killers where that happened. The only place where psychopats seem to flock is in rigid commandstructures like corporate or political. Quite evident in the dictatorial and ofte corrupt style of government, like the nazies, Stalins regime, Saddam Hussein and Milosevich. When that is said, the cases like the West family is typical of the psychopath and a co dependent personality disorder or mental illness. Most serial killing couples is of that constellation. Looking for a couple i do think is statistically safer than singles as the psychopath more often than not is the lone wulf type. Also staring blindly at the psychopaths as the undesirable types not to get involved with is not a good idea either. Narcissistic and borderline personality disorder is quite cloose to be as unpleasant as is a long spectrum in the mental illness regi. Main thing really is to know how all those types operate, and be able to pick them out. Not an easy task, as for exampel a typical sign of a psychopath is his ability to hide the disorder for a long time in to a relationsship. The signs is often extremely subtle. Don't forget that the worlds most known psychopat of all times managed to get democratically elected chancellor of Germany and rule for many years before it really showed up. Reading the mans story on his way up the ladder in the twenties, any two bit psychiatrist today would pass the diagnosis.

LadyAngelika -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 7:51:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero It would seem statistical odds are with her view. The likelihood that a psychopath has found another psychopath with which to share his/her overt dementia is much less than just the likelihood of someone being a psychopath. On the flip side, though, the odds of her finding compatibility in a relationship are doubled in difficulty. Lower chance of risk, lower chance of reward. You make a good point NihilusZero about the potential for compatibility being lowered. It's the reason I've never found threesomes that appealing! And I'm absolutely in total agreement though I've encountered co-psychopaths in my life, more than once. I would however tend to believe statistics that say that most psychopaths act alone. But I maintain that rationalizing these things do however have the effect of lulling someone into a false sense of security, which is I believe the point of the OP. - LA

perspectives -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 8:38:27 AM)
When replying to Femmedomme, do you think that male subs often write what they think She wants to hear rather than how they actually feel,?

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 8:49:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero It would seem statistical odds are with her view. The likelihood that a psychopath has found another psychopath with which to share his/her overt dementia is much less than just the likelihood of someone being a psychopath. On the flip side, though, the odds of her finding compatibility in a relationship are doubled in difficulty. Lower chance of risk, lower chance of reward. NZ the second person wouldn't have to be a psychopath, being deferential to the man would be enough to make the situation dangerous.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 8:52:18 AM)
RS look up Karla Holmoka and Paul Bernardo. It does happen, not as often as the case of a psychopath working alone but it does happen. Then of course there is the co-dependent female.

Acer49 -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 2:55:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rhodes85 I was browsing through the site tonight and after viewing the profile of a particular sub, something occured to me. The sub in question mentioned in her profile that she would only consider a couple, rather than a single male or female, due to the fact that she believed it was a much safer situation than a single person would be. I thought about that for a moment and have come to the conclusion that her way of thinking could lead to a serious false sense of security. Think about it, how much safer are you really with a two rather than a single person? Sure, a single person could easily turn out to be some crazy psychopath that might harm you, but its not all that unlikely that two people would be any different. The more I thought about it the more I came to believe that a belief that a person is safer serving a couple rather than an individual, could easily lead to - aside from a false sense of security, the sub potentially overlooking potential warning signs based on the belief that because there is another person involved, he or she would be safe from harm. Not that this applies to me or anything, as I am not a sub, nor would I be in such a situation. I just find it a concern that others, particularly subs, should take into account. So does anyone have any thoughts on this? I do not believe couples are any more or less safe than a single person, they can screw just as easily

LadyAngelika -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 3:21:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth RS look up Karla Holmoka and Paul Bernardo. It does happen, not as often as the case of a psychopath working alone but it does happen. Then of course there is the co-dependent female. I had that situation in mind too while reading it, but I didn't bring it up as they weren't getting their victims in the BDSM circle. But nonetheless, they are not alone in the world. And from what I've read/seen of Karla, she was much more active than passive in all this. In fact, in books written about their situation, Karla has been accused of unlocking his sadistic side. I have issues with that, but that's not the point. The point is, that nothing replaces good judgement. - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 3:30:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perspectives When replying to Femmedomme, do you think that male subs often write what they think She wants to hear rather than how they actually feel,? I'm not sure how this relates to the topic in the OP, so I don't want to start a whole side conversation and derail this thread. If I try to make a link between what you said and what the OP is saying, I'm absolutely careful about what a male sub proclaims in his message. I once had a boy turn on me about 5 years ago, and it was the 3rd time we had been together. Something I said (not did, said!) didn't sit with him right, and instead of being an adult about it and saying that he didn't like this, he freaked out and pushed me up against a wall my the shoulders. He was 6'3" and worked out 6 days a week. I'm 5'3"... I just mustered all my inner strength and ordered him to let go of me now. I was lucky as he unsnapped and then fell to his knees and apologized. I told him to get his stuff, get out and never call me again. I was lucky it didn't get more out of hand. A friend of mine told me the story of a Domme friend of his who ended up in the hospital after one her subs turned on her. So yeah, even if a boy says that he wants me to be his queen and hurt him and that he will do anything for me, I know that some people are ticking time bombs that can snap at any moment. Always listen to your instinct and use your judgement. - LA

lally2 -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/22/2009 3:53:20 PM)
FR i think its kinda sad that someone is so caught up on safety that theyre whole outlook and search criteria is based around this one , apparently all encompassing concern of hers. there are monsters in the woodpile of life, but i cant say ive met any yet and ive put myself in some pretty stupid situations down the line. ive hitched across europe on my own, worked in some seriously dodgy clubs, flitted through picadilly after dark (and thats a place to find monsters if there are any let me tell you). just because this lifestyle has dark desires doesnt mean its rife with lunatics. in a way the OP is right. if she is relying wholly on a couple being sane and safe then her whole premis on safety is flawed from the start. gut instinct and sane decisions are her best policy, not relying on some cosy legend of happy couples being forever wholesome. that to me is an unsafe presumption that cannot be relied upon simply because couples are meant to be nice, cosy, couply people with roses around their front door and a cat sunning itself on the porch of bliss.

SubbieTonya -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/27/2009 7:01:09 AM)
I think everyone is looking for security. My guess is that perhaps with couples, some have been together for a long time, and she sees THEIR security as her own. I don't think that it's "bad" of her to want this. I do however, feel that her reasoning is misplaced.

MaamJay -> RE: A False Sense of Security (11/28/2009 5:18:15 AM)
Psychopathic couples are rare but they do exist, and not only in USA. In the most isolated capital city in the world, Perth, Western Australia, a city in which serial killers are incredibly rare anyway, there was such a couple, the Birnies. She was totally dependent on him and would literally do anything for him, and yet, after the fact, she came across as the stronger of the two. He was the one who cracked first and confessed, and he also later committed suicide in jail, whilst she is still serving her sentence, unlikely to ever be paroled. They got into kinky sex (though no details of that were ever released), and bound, gagged and tortured their victims. In all, they killed 4 women, the first of whom happened to have been an ex-student of Mine. She had innocently gone to buy some tyres from them, she wasn't even doing anything risky like hitch-hiking (and in the 80s, no one thought hitch-hiking in the city was particularly dangerous). Their intended 5th victim got away and that put an end to their murdering ways. The story can be followed here: http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/serial_killers/partners/birnie/1_index.html Because I knew one of the victims, these crimes really affected Me. Made Me realise that just as 2 people can bring out the good in each other, so the converse is also true, they can bring out the bad and evil. So I wouldn't be trusting too heavily in the notion that a couple is safer than a single person! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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