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SaharahEve -> RE: someones property (11/20/2009 9:53:10 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: walkonme10
Hi I am new to bdsm and am wondering how I can become the property of a Mistress and have her own me and do only what I am told by her
Hi back. :) First, I would suggest that, imo, this has really nothing to do with "BDSM". That is the first and often fatal miscalculation a person new to the lifestyle can make, especially if it becomes a persistent theme in building up their perceptions about M/s. What most refer to as "slavery" or "property" in these circles is unfortunately nothing little more than an elaborate illusion. Being a consensual slave is no joke.
I've met plenty of individuals who have confused masochism or the theatrics of cd with the more substantive submission you seem to be referring to here.
If complete slavery to a Woman is truly your ideal, I would suggest the following:
a.) Look inward and identify what motivates you to do this. Be honest with yourself, because at this juncture it's important to reflect upon why you want to serve a Woman this way. Is it just to prostitute Her to have your fetishes indulged, or do you derive happiness from making the Woman in your life happy? Will you suffer to make Her happy, and while you do, is there a part of you that can still appreciate the place you have in doing so? In other words, are you able to see the big picture and know that ultimately Her happiness engenders yours?
b.) Are you resourceful and useful? In other words, can you bring something to the table in your servitude, besides your play toys and heinie? If you are lacking in one quality, can you make up for it in another so much that it still makes you desirable to Her?
c.) Are you capable of setting aside your ego, pride, jealousy and sense of male competitiveness so that you can focus upon Her desires and needs? Do you get along well with others? Are you a happy person inside?
d.) Is your life in order? Are you employed? Do you take care of yourself and your home? Do you dress nicely? Are you well adjusted socially (in other words, not an arrogant prick)? Do you have massive debt, health problems or addictions?
e.) Are you careful about how you represent yourself? Are you proactive in seeking a dominant Woman, or do you expect them to find you? Does your profile offer food for thought? Do you exude a positive vibe in your photos?
f.) Are you submissive? That seems like an obvious question, but you'd be surprised to learn how many egotistical, domineering and passive-aggressive men masquerade as "submissives". The pool of availability may seem wide to you and it may seem like you cannot possibly compete with all the men out there, but keep in mind that more than one Mistress has to shovel through several tons of rocks before She finds a diamond.
The most important thing I can say is be true to yourself. Don't pretend to be something you're not. Be upfront and honest in what you seek and what you have to offer and remember your actions will speak for themselves.
:)
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