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RE: someones property - 11/19/2009 9:43:27 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Hi I am new to bdsm and am wondering how I can become the property of a Mistress and have her own me and do only what I am told by her


<cheeky> Learn some good skills that will make you a good slave, get rid of all your possessions and then move to a country where slavery is actually legal? ;-) </cheeky>

Seriously, you have gotten some good advice on this thread so far. I'd add don't be overly eager, be patient and don't let yourself get frustrated. It can take a while to find a good match.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/19/2009 10:01:47 PM >


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: someones property - 11/19/2009 10:26:40 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
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Fast reply:

Be very patient.

And don't spam. Spamming will get you an instant block and delete. Say specific stuff to us that will show us that you have actually read our profiles all the way through.

BE POSITIVE, and ENJOY the journey!!

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 1:02:22 AM   
MadameMarque


Posts: 1128
Joined: 3/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My first thought would be meet someone who actually wants to own you.  That's kind of how it works.


I knew I was doing something wrong.



I am reminded of the old Steve Martin routine, "How to make a million dollars and never pay taxes:

"First, get a million dollars..."


"Those are my principles.  If you don't like them, I have others."
- Groucho Marx

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 9:53:10 AM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: walkonme10

Hi I am new to bdsm and am wondering how I can becomeĀ  the property of a Mistress and have her own me and do only what I am told by her


Hi back. :) First, I would suggest that, imo, this has really nothing to do with "BDSM". That is the first and often fatal miscalculation a person new to the lifestyle can make, especially if it becomes a persistent theme in building up their perceptions about M/s. What most refer to as "slavery" or "property" in these circles is unfortunately nothing little more than an elaborate illusion. Being a consensual slave is no joke.

I've met plenty of individuals who have confused masochism or the theatrics of cd with the more substantive submission you seem to be referring to here.

If complete slavery to a Woman is truly your ideal, I would suggest the following:

a.) Look inward and identify what motivates you to do this. Be honest with yourself, because at this juncture it's important to reflect upon why you want to serve a Woman this way. Is it just to prostitute Her to have your fetishes indulged, or do you derive happiness from making the Woman in your life happy? Will you suffer to make Her happy, and while you do, is there a part of you that can still appreciate the place you have in doing so? In other words, are you able to see the big picture and know that ultimately Her happiness engenders yours?

b.) Are you resourceful and useful? In other words, can you bring something to the table in your servitude, besides your play toys and heinie? If you are lacking in one quality, can you make up for it in another so much that it still makes you desirable to Her?

c.) Are you capable of setting aside your ego, pride, jealousy and sense of male competitiveness so that you can focus upon Her desires and needs? Do you get along well with others? Are you a happy person inside?

d.) Is your life in order? Are you employed? Do you take care of yourself and your home? Do you dress nicely? Are you well adjusted socially (in other words, not an arrogant prick)? Do you have massive debt, health problems or addictions?

e.) Are you careful about how you represent yourself? Are you proactive in seeking a dominant Woman, or do you expect them to find you? Does your profile offer food for thought? Do you exude a positive vibe in your photos?

f.) Are you submissive? That seems like an obvious question, but you'd be surprised to learn how many egotistical, domineering and passive-aggressive men masquerade as "submissives". The pool of availability may seem wide to you and it may seem like you cannot possibly compete with all the men out there, but keep in mind that more than one Mistress has to shovel through several tons of rocks before She finds a diamond.

The most important thing I can say is be true to yourself. Don't pretend to be something you're not. Be upfront and honest in what you seek and what you have to offer and remember your actions will speak for themselves.

:)

_____________________________

Saharah


S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com



(in reply to walkonme10)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 12:21:50 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
 . . .because you know how to have an intelligent conversation and you happen to have a good sense of humor.  If you didn't have those things, that cute little backside of yours wouldn't get nearly the attention.
 
Thank you for saying that, LP.  You've no idea how awful it's been for me to be treated as a mere object by women, as little more than a pair of buttocks. 



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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 1:34:08 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

 . . .because you know how to have an intelligent conversation and you happen to have a good sense of humor.  If you didn't have those things, that cute little backside of yours wouldn't get nearly the attention.
 
Thank you for saying that, LP.  You've no idea how awful it's been for me to be treated as a mere object by women, as little more than a pair of buttocks. 


Oh come on P...pull the other one...


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I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 1:56:28 PM   
walkonme10


Posts: 64
Joined: 9/20/2009
Status: offline
Thankyou A/all for your many kind words of advice

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 5:57:32 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
OP:

#1) forget femdom porn as a real idea of D-s..NOT!!
..femdom is designed for men..

Research..visit websites..read..go to local events..ask questions..
FORMULATE your desires...so that when you appraoch a MISTRESS you know what YOU are about..
 
What I mean is..
Do you wish to serve?..What does that mean to you?
DO you wish to be anticipatory? in service?
DO you wish to be an "object" to be ordered about and follow directions?
Do you feel you could be moulded to do both>?
DEVELOP skills to ENHANCE a MISTRESSES life...cooking..driving..theatre..reading..maincures..pedicures..

What you NEED TO DO...
is be aware of what D-s realtionships are about..and there are hundreds of kinds..
there are LT..playmate..session partner..top/bottom..loving couple..

MAke your self aware of YOU..as a submissive..slave..
What DRIVES you submission? fuels it?

and when you meet potential MItresses etc..make sure you know what you wish to convey...to them..
MAKE SURE you know..MITRESSES  are not like a PEZ DISPENSERsdispensing your kinks..

After that it is LIKE ANY RELATIONSHIP
COMMONALITIES
COMMUNICATION
COMPATIBLITITY
HONESTY

then to see if your desires MATCH the D's STYLE and what you could negotiate..build on..


GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/20/2009 6:02:28 PM >


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"Better served women will better serve the world"

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"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to walkonme10)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 7:20:03 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline
I thought you might to know what a first session looked like with a real dominant. (This is, of course, one of many things that might happen.) He showed up on time. We negotiated and talked about our specific kinks. He knelt, I collared him til eleven pm or when we mutually decided we were done or a safeword was called. He got naked and I had a good look at him. He massaged my feet, painted my toenails (for his first time, he really did a fairly good job), and brushed my hair out. He rubbed lotion into my back. I paddled him for the no-call, no-show that he'd pulled out of panic, and then checked some of his responses to certain sorts of touches. And then I took his collar off, and we ate lasagna and talked about our cats, and he went home. Was it likely what he has been fantasizing about? Probably not. But he has a good touch with my hair and the knot of muscles above my hip, which tells me he will probably be decent in more intimate ways, and there were a couple of instances that were seriously hot, and we have some of the same interests and likes/dislikes in food, and that's a good start. And I think he likes pain more than he thinks he does. (wink)




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I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 7:41:49 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: walkonme10

Thankyou for your comments, may I ask does my look seem like I might get an y interest from  Mistress/Goddess or do I have to change that?


Everybody wants someone.

(in reply to walkonme10)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: someones property - 11/20/2009 8:09:40 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
Sure everyone wants someone---it's when the someone doesn't want YOU that the trouble starts!

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: someones property - 11/21/2009 3:47:02 PM   
walkonme10


Posts: 64
Joined: 9/20/2009
Status: offline
E/everyone has been very nice and the amount of advice is more than I could of hoped for, so thankyou to E/everyone for taking the time to message me.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: someones property - 11/22/2009 5:13:28 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline
There are so many ways to go about it.  You have put up a profile with a pic on CM.  That is a good start.  But you have many more things you can do.  Go to parties and events, gauge the Mistress potential in women you meet in "vanilla" settings, etc.

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"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to walkonme10)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: someones property - 11/22/2009 8:18:36 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline
continue on the boards reading and replying to them. go to local events or not so local depending on where you are. there will be meet and greets and other events to attend to get you out and seen by others. find a local dungon or similar play space and attend regularly to see what is done= and for others to see you. above all be open and honest.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 34
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