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Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 9:24:04 AM

seraphm

Posts: 2
Joined: 3/11/2006
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Hello Everyone

For the past 6 years or so I have been in great relationship. Two years ago we married and during these years we had been trying to establish a D/d relationship. Unfortunately we had made little progress. After scouring the internet...and discovering a lot of trash along the way we've arrived at an impasse. We do have some theoretical knowledge but no real clue how to put it into practice. My wife is a very kind and patient woman who is having some difficulty actually applying discipline when necessary.
This, coupled with our inexperience has led me here in search of help and advice for both of us. We look forward to hearing from all of you.

Thank you

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 9:36:19 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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This post is a little to vague to form a reply.

I have a question... is she pursuing this in order to fulfill a desire that only you possess? If she has no real desire to be the authority in your relationship then there is no way to make her this.

Being kind & patient does not rule one out as to being an authority. If so I would be ruled out because I am an extremely kind & patient person. I am also a very straight forward person so I clearly define my expectations & what is the end result when expectations are not adhered to once agreed upon.

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 10:23:48 AM

LadyJulieAnn

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Joined: 6/29/2005
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Do you have any ongoing expectations written out with clear consequences if things are not done to specification? That might be a place to start. Perhaps you can share what it is that you are currently doing, and why you feel it's not working.

I would also agree with MstrssPassion that unless this is something your wife really wants, it's going to be difficult establishing something that requires her constant attention.

Be well,
Julie

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 12:23:17 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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I agree you cant push someone into it.

I too am very kind and laid back,but that doesnt mean I cant give a spanking.

Perhaps shes having second thoughts?

Maybe shes afraid of hurting you,it can be hard for some getting over that hurdle,to realize that its not hurting but helping.

This site www.frugaldomme.com is great! It has lots of info and links to other sites that may help on your journey.

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http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 2:44:32 PM

seraphm

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Joined: 3/11/2006
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Thank you for your kind replies:)
We've discussed the issue of both wanting this and she says that she does want to do this, not just for me but for herself as well. I am certain that there is a definite part of her that is afraid of hurting me in some permanent way...and despite my considerable persuasive skills

I was unsuccessful in fully convincing her that it is indeed helping me. Heh, I guess my original post was a bit vague...largely in order not to step on any toes I guess...one can never be too careful:)

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 5:23:09 PM

MistressLorelei

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Joined: 11/7/2005
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If you both have interests in a relationship which includes domestic discipline, and the knowledge you both have exists mostly in theory... then it might be a good idea to put some thoughts into action. Perhaps setting aside a few hours to start with for her to "practice" disciplining you for a certain period of time, or after certain activiities. After a while, discipline may no longer need to be scheduled if she has developed full comfort in disciplining you. It has to be her call all the way. you can support and encourage her, but she should feel confident and comfortable in the role she takes on.

I was hesitant to discipline initially, but once I began, it just felt natural, and as I became more comfortable, it became an automatic thing, when I feel it's necessary.

Many Dommes in the early stages, struggle with their wanting to do things which mainstream society finds unacceptable. Continue researching the internet; there are great forums, and articles, even books (Amazon, etc) which address this topic. It's possible that the more she reads about others in the lifestyle, the more comfort she will feel that what she is doing is not wrong if you are both wanting it.

I have a sweet and soft-spoken way about Me, and I thought it could be a challenge in using discipline and force, but, it's amazing what you can do when your comfort level peaks.

Good luck.

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RE: Domestic Discipline relationship - 3/12/2006 10:32:25 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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You might want to read Dom Me, Dammit! and the links they provide as additional information.

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