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Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 10:42:41 AM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		I've spent time meditating on this in the last few days and am curious about what others think. I understand this to be completely subjective, and what understandings exist between each relationship is different.  I direct this at those who do not have specific contractual arrangements. 

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?
--what commitments do you make?
--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?
--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?

Thanks all, I look forward to reading your thoughts. 


_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 1:46:47 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I've spent time meditating on this in the last few days and am curious about what others think. I understand this to be completely subjective, and what understandings exist between each relationship is different.  I direct this at those who do not have specific contractual arrangements. 

I am a bit confused because you say the questions are directed to non contractual relationships, but to me they are directed to people in relatiponships?  So his girl is am answering...

quote:

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?

Belonging to another.  In my case, Master.

quote:

--what commitments do you make?


To be his and to be under his authority.

quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?


It's just a symbol so holds no real meaning anymore than that.  He didn't need a symbol to solidify any commitment.

quote:

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?


To become his was all that was required.  Very simple.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 2:47:05 PM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		I at the moment have no phisical collar (working on that ;) ) but the important collar is in my heart and soul so the phisical is just a represantation of that for the outside world to see...

and of course me an Owner commited...


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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 3:32:27 PM   
allyC


Posts: 778
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		Hello, Elysium :) 
quote:

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?
 Hmmm...  It means so many things.  I would say that most importantly it means that he genuinely masters me and I have surrendered to his authority and command.  Perhaps for me it is different than for others but my love for him is also deeply plaited into the dynamic that we share as well.   It has many facets (the dynamic), however, my primary focus is him and my dependence on him is profound.  It means fulfillment and struggle, trial and triumph - it encompasses everything from failure to joyous successes and all that lies between.   It is my natural place with him and I find serenity there.
quote:

--what commitments do you make?
 The day I begged him to own me and take me as his, I committed myself to his will, authority, control, and dominance in my life.  I am committed to his pleasure and his desires, his needs and his wants.  I am to be the reed which he bends without breaking. 
quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?
 This one is a difficult to explain as I don't recall him actually saying "I commit to x, y, and z" or anything like that although he did offer one thing specifically - that he will ensure that I will obey and if I feel that I cannot, he will do what is necessary to compel me to do so... that he would master me and that my place with him was permanent as long as I strive to stay on the path he has set for me. 
quote:

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?


I honor that decision every day in a myriad of ways.  I stumble sometimes and I struggle as well, but I work hard to please him, to make him feel comfortable, satisfied, pleased, and loved.  I devote myself to him in as many ways as I can.   As far as honoring the decision itself, I begged him to own me and to make me his.  He told me how things would be, offered all caveats and warnings as well as his guidance, compassion and tutelage and after listening to his words, I begged again for him to claim me as his - and after the click of the collar, that step was taken. Well wishes to you, Cav's ally

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 3:41:36 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks to all that responded, it is illuminating to read. Allow me to explain the noncontractual relationship bit; I understand some people formalize the Master/slave Dom/sub relationship with a written out contract of the specific commitments of each person to the other.  I was more interested in the relationships that did not have that specifically designated obligations, and what it meant more personally. 

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 4:47:05 PM   
IBused


Posts: 93
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		It means you are screwed and on a short leash...love it or leave it.  

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 4:57:07 PM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		 sa
quote:

ORIGINAL: IBused

It means you are screwed and on a short leash...love it or leave it.  


What you mean by screwed?

(in reply to IBused)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 8:09:37 PM   
KateyCaine


Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

quote:


--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?


It means belonging to Master; and pleasing and serving Him in all that i do, as an expression of the permanence of my devotion to Him.

[--what commitments do you make?/
quote:



The commitments i make to Him are to obey Him without question, trusting in His orders, His actions, and His care for my safety and my physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological wellbeing; i also commit to being His and only His, body, mind and heart; i commit to placing His needs and desires above my own, being mindful even when He is not with me, of what pleases Him and what will make Him proud of me. i commit also to being mindful to anticipate His needs and desires in all my duties - domestic or otherwise, and i will serve Him gladly and with love always.



quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?


i am His most cherished possession, and Master has committed to caring for my welfare, and my development as a person as as His slave.

k.



_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 11:31:46 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I've spent time meditating on this in the last few days and am curious about what others think. I understand this to be completely subjective, and what understandings exist between each relationship is different.  I direct this at those who do not have specific contractual arrangements. 

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?


By being allowed in his life as his slave, I get to maximize my potential for happiness because I am allowed to be myself, be true to my nature and have a relationship with someone whose own nature complements mine.

quote:

--what commitments do you make?


As far as M/s, just the one to obey. Everything else stems from that one.

quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?


I don't recall him specifically making any committments. No promises to love, honor, keep me, wash my feet or along those lines, however, he's consistant and has been for several years and I don't envision that changing in the future.

quote:

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?


I'm not quite sure what is meant by this question. We are both true to our respective natures, we are compatible, have passion for one another and I feel cared for and loved and I believe he feels the same way.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/20/2009 11:34:51 PM   
KateyCaine


Posts: 274
Joined: 5/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I've spent time meditating on this in the last few days and am curious about what others think. I understand this to be completely subjective, and what understandings exist between each relationship is different.  I direct this at those who do not have specific contractual arrangements. 

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?


By being allowed in his life as his slave, I get to maximize my potential for happiness because I am allowed to be myself, be true to my nature and have a relationship with someone whose own nature complements mine.

quote:

--what commitments do you make?


As far as M/s, just the one to obey. Everything else stems from that one.

quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?


I don't recall him specifically making any committments. No promises to love, honor, keep me, wash my feet or along those lines, however, he's consistant and has been for several years and I don't envision that changing in the future.

quote:

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?


I'm not quite sure what is meant by this question. We are both true to our respective natures, we are compatible, have passion for one another and I feel cared for and loved and I believe he feels the same way.




Hi Bita :) Long time no hear !! How are things? Have you read my news??!! :):)


_____________________________

Proud to be owned and cherished by Master Charles (Gauge)

i wear His collar on my heart; and wherever i am, i know He is with me.

His love and my devotion and service to Him are stronger than leather or steel.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/21/2009 8:48:21 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		the collar is an otward representation of the bond that my Mistress hase made for me, a far as what commitments make i do all that i can to please my Mistress and not to be a cause of displeasure, my Mistress has promised to keep me safe and love me, there was a small ceramony at the local dungon to formalize the the collaring



_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to KateyCaine)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/21/2009 9:21:13 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

Thanks to all that responded, it is illuminating to read. Allow me to explain the noncontractual relationship bit; I understand some people formalize the Master/slave Dom/sub relationship with a written out contract of the specific commitments of each person to the other.  I was more interested in the relationships that did not have that specifically designated obligations, and what it meant more personally. 


Ah, got you now
Master did not desire a contract or written out form - again for us, it is like a collar - another symbol which wouldn't make anything more of our relationship than it already is.  Master communicates what is expected and I obey... again, pretty simple.  Thanks for clarifying.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/21/2009 10:01:20 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?

It means that I can't do what I want, when I want or how I want.......unless it coincides with what he thinks is best. It meant I was *his* and I gave him authority over me.

--what commitments do you make?

I committed to the above.

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?

He accepted responsibility for having that authority, basically...and all it entailed. There was no list.

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?

We marked the moment that we went from friends to *owner and owned* as both of us knew it wouldn't be the same any longer...It was significant to the pair of us , it was worth marking. The *ways* are personal, though.

agirl




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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/21/2009 11:11:03 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		The collar itself really means nothing to me... however what it stands for means everything to me!

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/22/2009 4:05:47 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		It means he owns me, for better or worse.
Unfortunately, what we're both having trouble with is what it doesn't mean. It doesn't mean that the things I have difficulty with have changed significantly. There are a few things he likes a great deal, which I can't find any pleasure in.
But it does mean that neither of us are walking away.

(in reply to Surrenderwithin)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/23/2009 11:53:25 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium[/quoote]
Answers from Carol:

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?
I prefer not to use that word, however... my mission statement in this role is to allow my partner to guide the relationship and to the best of my ability acquiesce to his goals. That doesn't negate my own life's goals. It's my job to communicate those goals to him entrusting that he will guide me to achieving those things.

--what commitments do you make?
That I would obey.

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?
(master's editorial... trick question, we've loved each other for a long time. There was little need for formal commitments) Master has committed to recognizing the trust I have placed in him and he would try not to be a dumb-ass. Oddly, those words, as humorous and informal as they are, prove suprisingly calming to me. A great many things are covered under the umbrella "not a dumb-ass".

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?
I don't understand this question. We didn't have a ceremony. We were already married. I honor the decision on an ongoing basis by honoring my commitment to be his.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/25/2009 7:55:01 PM   
HisPhedre


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/26/2008
Status: offline 		I'm going to throw a wrench into this thought...I hope that I'm not hijacking it, but a bit of background is needed to understand my answers.

My Lord and I started as friends in 93-94ish. Down the road, I met his girlfriend, then fiancee, now wife. Our poly relationship did not start until after we'd been friends for years. Our journey together down this path of BDSM has only been within the last 3-4 years. We made an agreement that we were friends before anything else, because neither of us wanted to destroy that. So keep this in mind as you read and know that we're still fumbling through BDSM together.

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?
For me it means belonging to him for as long as he wants me to be submissive to him. It means I can emotionally shelter him and ground him when he's had a rough day. From time to time his wife has told me "take him away for the evening, he needs to de-stress and you are better than I am to get him down". It means I help out at his place with projects, I help his kids with homework. For example, last night, I was over at his house helping to prep for Thanksgiving. We got as far as he wanted to, we decided to watch a DVD and I held him in my arms. He needed the space to "become emotionally whole", as his work life, and some of his outside life and home life were crashing in on him and stressing him out. As he put it before I left, "Thanks for mellowing me out."

--what commitments do you make?
We've tested our emotional bond and for us this relationship is set. We know the intensity may adjust due to how his life changes and my life changes. He is married to a wonderful woman and I have no desire interfere with that. I am not married to anyone and I am not seeing anyone other than him. We tested the emotional bond that we have and we know that he and I will always be a part of each other's life in some way. I do my best to not badger him for attention, I do my best to support him in his endeavors. One of the major commitments I've made to myself for him is to be adaptable and be what he needs at that moment.

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?
My Lord committed to loving me, encouraging me, teaching me, and so many of the other *ing words possible. Because of how our relationship started, what he has committed to me is very fluid.

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?
I don't remember if there was anything specific at the time, however, we've grown enough in who we are together and separately that we are buying a collar and making it permanent. I have one on now but it's one that I could take off, if there was an Allen wrench nearby. :) But I don't have the desire to remove it. He loves seeing it around my neck and knowing that he has a slave willing to serve him as he requires, whether it's mundane or erotic. We could be shopping at the mall or Home Depot or wherever. He likes being able to look at me and think to himself "She's mine." He enjoys that thrill because he knows that it's not shared with anyone else.

I hope I was able to add to your thoughts with my $.02.

(in reply to leadership527)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 11/25/2009 8:06:33 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?

It means I do what he says.
quote:

--what commitments do you make?

I make him my first priority.
quote:

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?

He supports me emotionally to be the best person that I can be. The best mom. The best photographer. The best woman.
quote:

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?

He collared me and we talk about marriage all of the time.


_____________________________



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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 12/18/2009 10:21:49 AM   
toxichearts


Posts: 8
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I've spent time meditating on this in the last few days and am curious about what others think. I understand this to be completely subjective, and what understandings exist between each relationship is different.  I direct this at those who do not have specific contractual arrangements. 

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?
I wouldn't say slave (bad thoughts come to mind and not in a good way) but being a sub means to me that i am giving my whole being into the care if my Dom and trusting him to not hurt me and guid me to being a better me.

--what commitments do you make?
What do you mean by ^ this? It could be taken several ways.

--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?
that i will be safe and taken care of(hopefully) and that if i need some support and help he will be there for me o help me work out my problems.

--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?
i follow his rules and do my best to tell him everything about myself and hold nothing back >.<

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
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RE: Slaves--What does your collar mean to you? - 12/18/2009 10:33:17 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

--in terms of the relationship, what does being a slave mean to you?

I may not be your target audience as we regard me as everything mixed together but... being his girl, his slave, his pet, his wife... it means I have someone to travel with. To spend my life with, to live, love and laugh with. Someone I can rely on and, perhaps amazingly, someone who relies on me. That I obey him is just a natural part of our relationship and our interaction.
quote:


--what commitments do you make?

To love him, honor him, serve him, cherish him, and to always be his little court jester with the smiling face willing to dance around in the grocery store aisle.
quote:


--what has your Master committed to you by collaring you?

To be there, to love me, to hold me when I cry, to bolster me when the world knocks me down... to believe in me when I can't believe in myself.
quote:


--in what ways did you honor the decision to take this step together?

We didn't do anything formal. We did things the way we've always done them - ass-hat backwards and fucked up. He gave me a necklace for my birthday and, with a smile, told me it was my collar. That was it. But... it's us and it makes sense for us. I wouldn't have it any other way.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
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