Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the need to hide it


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the need to hide it Page: <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:35:21 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
If you honestly think those in 'nillaville USA would see NO DIFFERENCE between referring to their significant other as "fiance" or "Master" to their neighbors, and cummunity, then you're fooling yourself, at best."


I guess I don't understand why you are so committed to defending the view point of sheltered/closed-minded/judgmental people.



I suspect one difference between us is I/we DON'T view those who'd rather not view our personal life displayed in public as "sheltered/close-minded/judgement people".



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 261
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:38:21 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

You know who else imposes their lifestyle on others without their consent? The Amish. Fuck those buggy driving bastards. I didn't consent to being exposed to their technology shunning lifestyle!!! They should be forced to dress like everyone else and drive cars!

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 262
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:39:27 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		Oh, I have ZERO doubt in my mind that you of all people would be polite in your COMMUNICATION.  However, I absolutely do NOT think it polite in BEHAVIOR to engage in such a display around those who have not consented to view a dynamic (e.g., a girl being collared, leashed, and led around by another) such as this in public.  I find that rude and inconsiderate, as it's imposing your personal life on others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Really? So I could behave exactly as any other well bred polite young lady in public but if I had a leash on I would automatically fail at polite communication?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

I'd have to disagree with you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

A person dressed as a clown as well as a girl on a leash can be polite, respectful and appropriate when communicating with strangers in public.




_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 263
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:41:17 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		Key difference, I think, is many would not view the Amish as being demeaned, where many would view a girl being led about on a leash as demeaning; and thus, offensive to many.  As you'd stated earlier... it's a case of "extremes".  While some may view an Amish woman as humbled, they'd likely view a sub/slave on a leash as degraded.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule



quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

You know who else imposes their lifestyle on others without their consent? The Amish. Fuck those buggy driving bastards. I didn't consent to being exposed to their technology shunning lifestyle!!! They should be forced to dress like everyone else and drive cars!



< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 11/28/2009 12:42:49 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 264
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:43:28 PM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		There are people who are self confident enough to carry it off... they can be Master and slave in public without upsetting people or making a fool of themselves... they have class and demand respect
There are also people playing at master and slave stuff who behave like total twits, raising eyebrows making themselves look like imbeciles and get chucked out of pubs and shops and get shouted at on the street...
The difference seems to be in ever so subtle details... some people rock and others don't... conviction i think

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 265
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:47:20 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		I would have to disagree there.  Many would view the Amish and Mennonites and many other religions as being demeaning to their women-folk.  Treating them as second class citizens.  Even I do at times, but, just as my pet being on a leash is my choice and his, being of a certain religion is their choice as well.  And does it do me any harm when I see people of different religions and cultures together with the female having to walk just behind her husband or not speak until spoken to?  No.  No harm done to me at all.  In a lot of ways, she's on a leash too, you just can't see it.

Double standards galore, and that's one of them.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 266
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:49:34 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		This I completely agree with. For example punishment displays should be done in private (home or club) for the same reason that spanking a child or arguing loudly with your spouse should be done private.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

There are people who are self confident enough to carry it off... they can be Master and slave in public without upsetting people or making a fool of themselves... they have class and demand respect
There are also people playing at master and slave stuff who behave like total twits, raising eyebrows making themselves look like imbeciles and get chucked out of pubs and shops and get shouted at on the street...
The difference seems to be in ever so subtle details... some people rock and others don't... conviction i think

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 267
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 12:58:50 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
If you honestly think those in 'nillaville USA would see NO DIFFERENCE between referring to their significant other as "fiance" or "Master" to their neighbors, and cummunity, then you're fooling yourself, at best."


I guess I don't understand why you are so committed to defending the view point of sheltered/closed-minded/judgmental people.



I suspect one difference between us is I/we DON'T view those who'd rather not view our personal life displayed in public as "sheltered/close-minded/judgement people".




I think there are few more obvious differences between us (I/we, what the fuck ever, are you composing these posts as a unit? Or tag teaming?). But pointing them out violates TOS.... so...

Can you agree that someone living in Kansas City, MO lives in a more culturally conservative community than someone living in LA?

From my perspective, the category of people you are defending is much smaller than you seem to think it is. In my community, referring to someone as Master in public may raise some eyebrows, but reasonable people aren't going to feel like someone else's personal dynamic has been shoved down their throats. In fact, making a scene about someone who referred to their partner as slave, or was walking him around on a leash, would be seen as crass and rude, whereas the underlying act would merely seem odd. We're midwesterners, not puritans. Reasonable people respond to unusual things with anything from curiosity, fear, amusement to politely ignoring. The reasonable people in my community do not get outraged by something different, or take at as a personal affront to community standards. The people that do have that response... tend to be either sheltered and/or closed-minded. Hell, even many of the overly judgmental people can still maintain a live and let live attitude.  People can recognize that "Master" and "fiance" are different without taking great offense.

From my experience, the offended attitude is not the most common one. It's not just that I think your reasoning is poor, I think it's based on a false premise

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 268
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 1:02:31 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I went to the used book store with My Master wearing my steal collar (can't take it off sorry)We found some really cheap Gor novels and an amazing book on housekeeping. Master bought them for me. I'm such an attention whore!

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 269
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 1:44:54 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

If we want to continue to be seen as freaks and weirdos by the general public, then we should act like total asses, drawing attention to ourselves in inapproptiate ways.







I think the opposite...I was raised to believe that the first sign you know you're doing something wrong is that you feel an overwhelming desire to hide it. I don't mean 'wrong' as immoral, but simply 'wrong' as in going against whatever sense of appropriateness you have...that's why binge eaters eat in the toilet (ew) or drug addicts start getting high alone instead of with their casual use friends, or whatnot, so I think that by hiding it, we're seeing *ourselves* as freaks and weirdos and that society as a whole (most of whom really don't have much of an opinion of BDSM beyond either "weird" or "fascinating") is going to accept our self label and think "They're afraid to admit they're into BDSM, ergo BDSM is something that should be hidden, ergo BDSM is wrong."

Again that's just my opinion, I can see how you'd think using those words is inappropriate and shouldn't be done, but since I don't have anything really new to say I'm going to attempt to let it go - I don't think you're a 'bigot' or 'intolerant' or anything like that, because if politeness is your aim I doubt you'd go up screaming in anyone's face that they're an awful person for having said slave or Master...it sucks having a minority opinion on the internet and I don't want to take advantage of that and just start snarking with no content.

XO

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 270
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 1:47:58 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		What determines inappropriate? Social break throughs in behavior of classes of people (homosexuals, ethic, etc.) only occur when the boundries are pushed. I am not speaking of going down the street with a leashed or coffled slave girl, I have commented on the OP, such as using the term "Master" openly or other small things that may hint to a "nilla" that something is going on. That is much different than rubbing the community's nose in something.

Also, if the general public want to view me as something I am not, should I conform just to be accepted and fit in? Many have pointed out that there is a balance between being yourself, and causing a disturbance, as well as many shades of grey between the two.


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

If we want to continue to be seen as freaks and weirdos by the general public, then we should act like total asses, drawing attention to ourselves in inapproptiate ways.


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 271
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 1:56:32 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		What is kind of ironic is that my girl is from KC, and it was at a Bob Evans that a waittress overheard her call me Master. This waittress later asked my girl about it, and my girl told her that we had an alternative lifestyle relationship and that is how she refered to me. The waittress was very interested, and said things like "you two are such a great looking couple together", and "just looking at you I would have never known". The waittress gave my girl her email, and they exchanged emails for a while, and this waittress soon became involved in D/s and power exchange relationships herself.

All in that nillaville of the suburbs of KC. I think it was Lee Summit.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

Can you agree that someone living in Kansas City, MO lives in a more culturally conservative community than someone living in LA?



_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 272
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 2:25:39 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

If we want to continue to be seen as freaks and weirdos by the general public, then we should act like total asses, drawing attention to ourselves in inapproptiate ways.







I think the opposite...



I know... and thanks for a wonderfully spirited debate.




_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 273
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 6:17:23 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		So, it's impolite if my Master leads me around on a leash, yet it's perfectly ok if a few teenagers who have no understanding of what it (running around leading each other by a leash) means?

Talk about double standards.

His baby girl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Oh, I have ZERO doubt in my mind that you of all people would be polite in your COMMUNICATION.  However, I absolutely do NOT think it polite in BEHAVIOR to engage in such a display around those who have not consented to view a dynamic (e.g., a girl being collared, leashed, and led around by another) such as this in public.  I find that rude and inconsiderate, as it's imposing your personal life on others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Really? So I could behave exactly as any other well bred polite young lady in public but if I had a leash on I would automatically fail at polite communication?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

I'd have to disagree with you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

A person dressed as a clown as well as a girl on a leash can be polite, respectful and appropriate when communicating with strangers in public.




(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 274
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 6:48:53 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Key difference, I think, is many would not view the Amish as being demeaned, where many would view a girl being led about on a leash as demeaning; and thus, offensive to many.

Again, the same way a white woman would have been seen as "demeaned" to have a boyfriend of color 60 years ago.

If you support cultural short-sightedness in people so long as their socio-geographical mores are popular enough to make the short-sightedness commonplace, then you do it across the board.

Meaning (for example), female visitors to certain middle eastern countries should not "offend" the predominant cultural norms and should wear burqas, yes?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 275
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 6:49:39 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		I do order my hubby around when in public but don't impose. My atitude is the one in charge without thinking about it, and my slave/husband acts normal on it as well. I had some eyebrows raised and sometimes even an ammused smile, but nothing more. The maximum i'll do is in a testaurant to order the food and drinks for my slave when I'm really noughty. I would shurely not expose my slave because other people might be offended and they didn't choose to be my complice.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to Elipsis)
Profile   Post #: 276
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/28/2009 7:01:25 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		The argument against the freedom of WIITWD expression, broken down:

Rule 1) "Kink" is naughty.
Rule 2) No one should ever have to publicly witness something naughty.
  a- The witness always gets to determine if what you've done is "naughty" (aka "kink").
Rule 3) If you think your "kink" is actually not "kink", refer to Rule 2a.


< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/28/2009 7:02:39 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to blmtrsne)
Profile   Post #: 277
RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the n... - 11/29/2009 2:26:55 AM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		i think the safest conclusion to this discussion is probably if W/we all agree to disagree.

His baby girl

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 278
Page:   <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Involving others in your kink vs. Not feeling the need to hide it Page: <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109