chasing the married man/woman

chasing the married man/woman (Full Version)

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allthatjaz -> chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 3:08:26 AM)
In light of some of the current threads on cheating .... What interests me is, why do some women/men find themselves more attracted to a married person? I am not talking about forming a relationship with someone to later find out that they are in a relationship but to deliberately look for a taken man/woman. I know a woman on the scene that has gone through 3 married men. Once she has chewed at the bone and by which time they have left their wife and children, she spits them out and moves onto the next married man. We also know a fem sub that recently had an affair with a Dominant already in a relationship. When he called it off she cried loudly 'why would he choose that ugly old bag over me?' Steve is a very good looking guy and he has had some fairly major approaches from single women who know he is my partner. Are they doing this because....they want what someone else has? because they think they are more attractive? or is it a rush from a chase that is far more competitive than with a single man?

DarkSteven -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 5:13:24 AM)
When I was younger, I once worked with a guy who was a sharp dresser and confident all the time. He had a fight with his wife and she moved out. In the time she was away, his clothes looked like hell and he was missing sleep. If she had stayed away longer, he may have had fatigue due to not eating properly. It could be that these women like well tended specimens rather than us more feral men.

rockspider -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 5:24:06 AM)
Well i did know of one of those once. Her actions was most peculiar, more like she had a fetish getting of on wrecking marriages. Well i never did understand the bitch up and until i delved in to the psychiatric literature and did find her under female psychopath. Not only did she wreck the marriage, but she really enjoyed trowing the errand spouse on the street when he had given everything up for her. Another one i meet was one who seeked married men, because she didn't want emotional involvement. Sex only and married men suited her just fine as they tend to be discreet and give very litle hasle. She married a guy with booming bussiness which she did divorce after some years. Getting a sizeable divorce setlement which gave her a good living. Didn't want to give that up for emotional involvement. Security junkie with an itch to get scratched when it suited her. She happened to be one of the outlaw family who was very cloose to my ex. That is why i know her reasoning. Well i don't think she ever wrecked any marriages as that was the least she wanted. If the guy started talking love he was dismissed on the double. There has been a great deal of studies in to the subject of cheeting. What they did find was that most married person engaging in that tend to go for someone also married. The average single prefers singles for obvious reasons. The single woman who falls for the habitual cheating married man is not so common as it is made out to be, and most who finds them self in that situation really choose to get out of it soon. The ones who don't seem to grab the attention. For the notion that it is only men who is cheating bastards it is a fact that 1 in 8 men, who are sure they are the father of their children, in that situation they do have to go for testing at the danish center for donormatching, is actually told their DNA don't match. Must be a hard message to get when you have loved that kid, maybe for 20 years, and litlle wifey has claimed total fidelity in all those years. Well one i heard of sat on a plane to Thailand a week later so he could try what sextourisme was. How the marriage proceded afterwards i don't know.

rockspider -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 5:26:27 AM)
Well Steven, when my ex moved out, the first port of call was the mens outfitters[:D]

kanina -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 5:38:37 AM)
i think as rockspider said is more an envolvement issue than anything else... good looking, rich and single man are also a hard to catch so i don´t think is mainly for the challange, but as everything else it depends on the person...

pompeii -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 7:15:41 AM)
How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?

Wolf2Bear -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 7:33:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allthatjaz In light of some of the current threads on cheating .... What interests me is, why do some women/men find themselves more attracted to a married person? I am not talking about forming a relationship with someone to later find out that they are in a relationship but to deliberately look for a taken man/woman. It is the lure and the challenge of going after a person who is committed to another.

GoddessImaginos -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 7:40:41 AM)
My personal opinion is that the chasing of married or otherwise spoken-for persons without the knowledge and consent of their spouse/primary partner, who are not living in separation, is reprehensible (sp?), unscrupulous, stupid, lame, a beating offense and just an all-around bad plan. I have been the other Woman in My youth and I am not proud of it, but I have long since forgiven Myself and been glad it went no farther than it did, with little harm done except to My own sense of personal honor. I do not share but My Husband does. I welcome no other females to be the other woman in My current equation, and hate it for them if they're pitiful enough to try. This may sound one-sided but quite frankly, seeking for Me was My Husband's idea, not Mine, and is as much to fulfill His fantasies about sharing His Wife as anything else; personally I would be just as happy to be fully monogamous, sans the inherent BS. Remember that these are My opinions only.

NyDaddysGirl -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 7:50:53 AM)
I've been in several discussions with friends and family about this very concept and below are a few reasons that came up. 1) Fear of committment. As long as they stay in a relationship, there's no chance you'll have to commit. 2) Insecurity. If you can win the spouse, that boosts your self esteem, which explains the get rid of them once they leave their family. 3) Set in your ways. If you are so set in your ways, live independently and like it that way, it's a way to get your physical needs met while not having to compromise your home and life style. 4) All the good ones are taken. 5) It's a way to enjoy the good without having to deal with the bad. I am not defending it, just providing possible reasons that have come up in past conversations. (Call me selfish, but I don't like to share.)

Elisabella -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 8:28:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed? The unmarried man can spend the weekend in bed with you.

GoddessImaginos -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 8:31:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed? The unmarried man can spend the weekend in bed with you. Good point! [:D]

wisdomtogive -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 8:39:01 AM)
Why they chase I do not know, all I know is of what I hear on a daily bases from clients. What I hear is not of joy or happiness, but of heartbreak and the forever waiting to hear from him. The empty holidays, empty bed, and so many tears. Sometimes one has to wonder, for those who continue to chase only married or committed men, if they love the pain of being neglected over the joy of sharing a life with one?

Missokyst -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 8:41:22 AM)
He is more desperate for approval? quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed?

DesFIP -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 8:41:37 AM)
Someone who is happy in a relationship radiates happiness and contentedness. Most people prefer to spend their time with someone who is happy. The assumption is that if they can be substituted for the existing spouse, they too will be de facto in a good relationship with a happy person and themselves be happy. Of course it doesn't work that way. The person who wants to be a substitute doesn't realize the existing partner has relationship skills which are part of why the other person is happy. And that no matter how many times she or he insinuates themselves into such a position, they still won't be able to make it work.

ranja -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 9:07:29 AM)
In my case: I do not purposely look for men... they find me and they decide if i can entertain them for a while... I am married myself and i have no intention to leave my Husband... i feel it is somewhat unfair to string along a single guy... who should be free on the market for unattached females... i have no more to offer. Of course i only do cyber so i never really even know if the guy is indeed a guy let alone if he is married or not and if his game is above board with his spouse. i do not really care too deeply about such issues either... i am here for a bit of sexy fun thas all.

allthatjaz -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 9:49:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pompeii How is a married man any different than an unmarried man to a woman in bed? That would depend on what was going on in their heads. I'm not so sure how I feel about this. If it was just for platonic sexual gratification, then provided they use protection (at least protect their spouse from diseases) then although its still adultery it doesn't seem as bad as a woman who continually chases that married man for an affair that could be something else including the eventual split of a marriage.

allthatjaz -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 9:55:52 AM)
I will add to that, that I don't have time for people that complain about their married lover not having time for them. I can remember sitting in a friends kitchen whilst she complained bitterly that her lovers wife was a 'bitch' because she had insisted on coming with him for a Saturday night out and that this was 'her' night with him and not the wifes.

CalifChick -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 10:20:13 AM)
There seems to be an awful lot of assumption that the chaser has really thought things through. What I have seen falls more into the realm of being in denial... knowing that he is smart and interesting and funny and attractive... and conveniently ignoring the fact that he is unavailable and/or not having the self-control to walk away from him. Cali

KnightofMists -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 11:39:01 AM)
mmmmmmm where are all these women chasing attached men? Damn... I am missing out!!!!!!

maugseros -> RE: chasing the married man/woman (11/22/2009 1:25:26 PM)
There are a lot of theories.. but no definitive answers. I've noticed a lot that a man will meet a woman that he really likes but she is either married/involved and he will say "I want a woman 'like' that". Whereas a woman will meet a man she really likes who is married/involved and say "I want 'THAT' man". I believe that there is a inherent competitivness in a lot of women when it comes to who there mate is. And there is almost something along of the lines of the guy sort of being "pre-selected" by another woman. As if him already being involved with another woman says "Yes.. he's a catch and he's mine". And especially if a man happens to be involved with a VERY attractive woman.. his desirablity to other women seems to skyrocket.

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