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Code Words? - 11/22/2009 7:40:03 AM

NotNutsReally

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Hi all,
I'm just wondering what code words y'all have heard of for BDSM out in the vanilla world. For example, I've seen the word 'strict' used as code for bdsm.
Thanks
NNR

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 7:50:41 AM

daddysliloneds

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we're all adults here; who needs code words? i tell people that i don't know that i'm a masochist that loves to be beat and fucked; they get my meaning just fine without code words.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 8:03:42 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

I've seen the word 'strict' used as code for bdsm.

Yeah, me too. I think it can be a fun little challenge to discover kinks in another slowly rather than have it all out on the table.

Sometimes it's a code word and sometimes it's the word they know. We have to remember that not everyone is an *sexpert*.

To be honest, I have met most of my past partners in face-to-face situations, purely non-BDSM related, with a hunch based on our interactions that they enjoyed a strong woman, and slowly teased the submission out of them. And it was by using a vocabulary that *they* could relate to that things could progress.

- LA

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 8:23:33 AM

Elisabella

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NotNutsReally

Hi all,
I'm just wondering what code words y'all have heard of for BDSM out in the vanilla world. For example, I've seen the word 'strict' used as code for bdsm.
Thanks
NNR

The one I usually use is "traditional relationship" but it only works for a male-dominated relationship.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 8:59:32 AM

DarkSteven

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I simply say that I like to take charge in bed. As a Dom, I like to do it outside of bed as well, but that's kind of expected of a man today.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 9:12:26 AM

AlexandraLynch

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"interested in power exchange dynamics" "I like to take charge in bed".

Though I can generally suss out who is open to calling it BDSM and say, "Yep, had a boy naked and painting my toenails Friday, Saturday evening went over to a friend's house and helped him beat his wife," and other little happy windows into my life.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 9:13:54 AM

sexyred1

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In a conversation with those who are vanilla, I sometimes say that I like a guy to be masterful.

Sometimes they get it, most often they don't.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 9:15:13 AM

Elisabella

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I simply say that I like to take charge in bed. As a Dom, I like to do it outside of bed as well, but that's kind of expected of a man today.

Oooh yeah, that's a good one. Or as my dominant-but-not-self-identified-as-a-Domme best friend puts it, "I like to be on top."

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 9:51:54 AM

LadyPact

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Actually, I don't. In most vanilla settings, I don't see how it applies.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 9:54:30 AM

littlewonder

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I've only ever had it come up in conversations with my best friend. She knows I like rough kinky sex and dominant personality men. She thinks I'm crazy. I think she's crazy. We're both fine with that!

Other than that, how exactly would it come up in conversation with anyone else?

We don't go out in public in a way that anyone would notice us as standing out from anyone else.

We're pretty normal people.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 10:17:39 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

I simply say that I like to take charge in bed. As a Dom, I like to do it outside of bed as well, but that's kind of expected of a man today.

Different women have different expectations of what taking charge means! I expect a man to take initiative in pleasing me as well as in take charge in his submission to me, that is to be proactive about his submission. A whole other kind of take charge ;-)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 11/22/2009 10:18:26 AM >

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 10:20:59 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

Other than that, how exactly would it come up in conversation with anyone else?

It would come up in conversation if one was single, met someone in a non-bdsm setting, with whom there is attraction and is trying to uncover the potential for shared kinkyness in a subtle and respectful fashion, for example.

- LA

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 10:24:30 AM

kiwisub12

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I wasn't putting out code words but when i was ready to start "dating" again after a long absence, i put an ad on match.com, and part of it stated that i didn't want to be in charge , all i wanted was a say-so.

I got a reply back from a dom who suggested that i might like his services. I didn't, but that was more to do with him than his services. After that epiphany, i found collarme, and history was made!!!!!!

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 1:59:41 PM

mmsprecious

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I don't know of code words, but I did meet my Master on okc. He had in His profile "I work hard and PLAY even harder!"
I didn't get it till we really started talking lol
So much for code.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 4:40:18 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Other than that, how exactly would it come up in conversation with anyone else?

It would come up in conversation if one was single, met someone in a non-bdsm setting, with whom there is attraction and is trying to uncover the potential for shared kinkyness in a subtle and respectful fashion, for example.

- LA

Yeah..even then I never bothered to use code words but then again I never searched for kink based relationships...I sought dominant type of men relationships.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 4:44:23 PM

Aileen1968

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"Beat me" is pretty effective.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 5:19:22 PM

CaringandReal

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NotNutsReally

Hi all,
I'm just wondering what code words y'all have heard of for BDSM out in the vanilla world. For example, I've seen the word 'strict' used as code for bdsm.
Thanks
NNR

They were used years ago in print personal ads that just had two sections (men looking for women, women looking for men) or maybe four, if they were slightly more liberal to clue other readers in. The ad would not be run if it contained anything more explicit. I forget all of the ones I use to see used, there were some very creative and funny ones though.

One I think I made up (but someone undoubtedly thought of it before I did) was "rocky road" (as in some people like vanilla, others like...)

Often you used terms from books that you know vanilla people hadn't read. Fairy tales and other literature offered lots of choice terms "Beast seeks Beauty" "Riding hood looking for her wolf." "Shrew needs taming." Vanilla people would think those were cute but a little eccentric and pass you by.

A hilarious vanilla one (that I don't really understand and don't particularly want to understand) is "salad tossing." I know what it means folks, I just don't want to know WHY it means that, if you get my drift.

I wonder if it would make sense to say... I like beets in my tossed salad?

...

On second though, scratch that idea. :/

er, I mean...

(shuts up completely)

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 5:48:13 PM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Other than that, how exactly would it come up in conversation with anyone else?

It would come up in conversation if one was single, met someone in a non-bdsm setting, with whom there is attraction and is trying to uncover the potential for shared kinkyness in a subtle and respectful fashion, for example.

- LA

Yeah..even then I never bothered to use code words but then again I never searched for kink based relationships...I sought dominant type of men relationships.

Well I seek relationships with men who appreciate dominant women. Not all were submissive, but all appreciated my dominance, if that makes sense.

- LA

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 7:17:05 PM

dreamerdreaming

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It hasn't come up.

My relationship dynamics are nobody's business but mine and my boy's.

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RE: Code Words? - 11/22/2009 8:13:26 PM

AnnaOfAramis

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quote:

A hilarious vanilla one (that I don't really understand and don't particularly want to understand) is "salad tossing." I know what it means folks, I just don't want to know WHY it means that, if you get my drift.

OKaaaaaaay... at the risk of sounding really naive, what the hell is salad tossing????

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