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Balance between lifestyles - 11/22/2009 5:15:32 PM

Ashleigh77

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Joined: 11/21/2009
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I was wondering if anyone could help me with a problem that I have recently encountered. I am new to this so if this thread has been done I apologize.. My master and I recently parted ways and a big part of why is because we had a problem balancing our BDSM lifestyle at home and our vanilla relationship to the outside world. He felt that our lifestyle choice should be 24/7 no matter where we where or what we where doing and I had trouble dealing with it in the Vanilla world. Is there anyone else out there that has had the same problem and any suggestions as to how to deal with it?

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RE: Balance between lifestyles - 11/22/2009 5:19:31 PM

Level

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Ashleigh, you might get a better response in the main BDSM forum, but it's okay that you posted it here, too.

You have to find what is comfortable to you; there isn't a "wrong" answer, except for what is wrong for you. Then, you find someone that fits in with that. Easier said than done :)

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
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~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: Balance between lifestyles - 11/22/2009 5:20:07 PM

Aylee

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Well, sometimes people are jsut not compatible.

Also, I think that it depends on your individual definitions and classifications of what is "lifestyle" and what is "vanilla."

I certainly do not advocate nudity or sex in public. I am okay with public floggings, but I think that those should be state ordered.

So. . . I really cannot give you advice as I am not sure which parts you were having trouble with.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: Balance between lifestyles - 11/22/2009 5:26:02 PM

Wolf2Bear

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IMO, a person has to find one who is fairly compatible with them and that includes how much of the kink they want to incorporate into their everyday life. Some want 24/7, some want to be weekend kinksters, some want a balance between the two extremes. Finding one who shares close to the same needs you have is half the struggle. I wish you well in finding one who suits you well and you suit them well.

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~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
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RE: Balance between lifestyles - 11/22/2009 6:14:54 PM

DesFIP

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Next time talk about it first. But yes, most of us here disagree with shoving our sex lives in someone else's face. So calling Master in front of my elderly father, or my minor is not something I would do. It wouldn't do anything to improve our relationship and it would upset needlessly people who I love.

There is never a good reason to hurt someone for no need.

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