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lisaNgso -> RE: Female doms/Mistreses (3/19/2006 7:03:16 PM)
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Hi, I am a bisexual female sub, living in the south, and thought I'd share my experiences briefly on this topic. I seem to encounter the very opposite of which you state, and am often heard asking "where are the lesbians?"
Of course, het relationships being the majority is probably the main reason you encounter this.
I've come across two types (yes I know I'm stereotyping) of female tops in my area, those that are considered femme dommes, stating they are bisexual - (but really are what I consider het flexible - with a willingness to offer sensual domination that does not include sex) and those that are lesbians from the leather community. It seems that both are primarily service oriented, with sex playing little to no part of the relationship. For subs in which sex is not a part of what they seek, that would be fine, but that does not include all (like me.) Sex is generally not considered a service in those circles (much to my frustration)
I don't know the statistics, but it would be interesting by gender and role (top or bottom) to compare who needs sex as an aspect of their d/s relationships and who does not. I would not be surprised to see male tops and female subs scores much the same. So it may be more an issue of d/s style, than simply sexual preference/orientation.
I also think living in the south has an impact. Because it is so obviously male dominated, many male doms feel perfectly confortable speaking to female tops at events as if they were subs. I know many female tops that do not go to bdsm groups often because of that. Out of issues of safety, I tend to only meet potential partners at groups versus online, so this is a hinderance.
Anyway, just some thoughts on this end of things
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