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RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/16/2006 7:00:44 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I think there is some honest truth in location being importain. I known Mistresses that have been seeking for a lengthy amount of time to only find that the distance, for some can be a turn off over a lengthy realtionship. And if where you live there are no groups that get to gether or worst yet, you are punished through gossiping in the local community, then you really have a hard time finding peoplewith similar interest...

The question of finding female slaves/ submissives . It seems that if it is an up hill battle that may also have some level of reward involved also. If you are in short supply, ( ie the Mistress) then it might be that the slave may not be looking for another after they find you .Specially once they get to know you and appreciate what you have to offer. Many Doms on here get played but subs becasue they are constantly looking for another one to play with . If you are rareity, then you will be seeked out...Good luck

(in reply to tendergirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/16/2006 7:11:13 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		You could just as easily complain about subs wanting a particular height, a particular race, a particular age range...... it is just what sparks for them petal, if you don't then you don't. It isn't a problem just on your side of the equasion, we all have similar problems when we are looking for the right girl that is worth collaring.

Good luck.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Mistressfeelgood)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/16/2006 8:09:10 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe you just haven't found the right place to look yet.

I went to the South Plains Leatherfest several weeks ago in Dallas. It may be that the community that would yield you the best results is the gay leather community. I saw PLENTY of women slaves with women masters or dommes in this community. There were families put together every which way you could possibly imagine. Leather dykes and femmes, lady masters and bois (female) or girls, a gay male master with femme dyke slave, or gay male masters with boys (male) and girls (female). The relationships are sometimes sexual, sometimes not.

They even had female-only play space in the dungeon area.

I would encourage you to get connected with the leather community. I was really charmed by the variety and the "just plain coolness" of all the relationships I saw.

< Message edited by classykindasassy -- 3/16/2006 8:10:33 PM >

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/17/2006 4:46:37 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mistressfeelgood

I appologize tendergirl, that you may think me a bit aggressive or that I may put people off in your opinion. However, I can't be someone else besides myself.

quote:

I appologize tendergirl, that you may think me a bit aggressive or that I may put people off in your opinion. However, I can't be someone else besides myself.


Welcome to the boards Mistressfeelgood,

You will find that the people here are - not surprisingly just people. The good, the bad, the flamers, the cowards, the ones who speak their minds and lead with their hearts. May your time here be well spent. There are some amazing and wonderul people here...if you venture out...they will come.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to Mistressfeelgood)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/17/2006 4:48:28 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

You could just as easily complain about subs wanting a particular height, a particular race, a particular age range...... it is just what sparks for them petal, if you don't then you don't. It isn't a problem just on your side of the equasion, we all have similar problems when we are looking for the right girl that is worth collaring.

Good luck.


Raven,

Nice turn of a phrase...it is just what sparks for them. Thinking sparklers versus the grand finale and everything in between.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/18/2006 2:48:33 PM   
Mistressfeelgood


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the welcome Cloudz.
I'm learning more about this site everyday, good and bad but mostly good. I've been meeting lots of friends as well as a chance to talk with quite a few subs offering their services.

As for leather clubs or any gay communities at all that were mentioned, you can not find them anywhere near where Im at. Im in a very tiny town almost on the border of Kentucky and Tenn. Oh how I miss Florida for this reason. lol. But while I've found a few fakes here and learned my lesson I think. I like who Im talking with now. She seems to be willing to please and see to all my fetishes and desires. Wish me luck.

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/19/2006 7:03:16 PM   
lisaNgso


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline 		Hi, I am a bisexual female sub, living in the south, and thought I'd share my experiences briefly on this topic. I seem to encounter the very opposite of which you state, and am often heard asking "where are the lesbians?"

Of course, het relationships being the majority is probably the main reason you encounter this.

I've come across two types (yes I know I'm stereotyping) of female tops in my area, those that are considered femme dommes, stating they are bisexual - (but really are what I consider het flexible - with a willingness to offer sensual domination that does not include sex) and those that are lesbians from the leather community. It seems that both are primarily service oriented, with sex playing little to no part of the relationship. For subs in which sex is not a part of what they seek, that would be fine, but that does not include all (like me.) Sex is generally not considered a service in those circles (much to my frustration)


I don't know the statistics, but it would be interesting by gender and role (top or bottom) to compare who needs sex as an aspect of their d/s relationships and who does not. I would not be surprised to see male tops and female subs scores much the same. So it may be more an issue of d/s style, than simply sexual preference/orientation.


I also think living in the south has an impact. Because it is so obviously male dominated, many male doms feel perfectly confortable speaking to female tops at events as if they were subs. I know many female tops that do not go to bdsm groups often because of that. Out of issues of safety, I tend to only meet potential partners at groups versus online, so this is a hinderance.

Anyway, just some thoughts on this end of things

(in reply to Mistressfeelgood)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/20/2006 6:04:14 AM   
litaTshai


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		greetings to All,

perhaps it is because i am a Gorean slave, and not familiar with BDSM, but i am confused as to why everyone on  this thread seems to immediately assume the Mistress wishes a lesbian or bisexual slave for a sexual relationship.

Outside of Gor is a female Domme not permitted to have a sub or slave She doesn't have sex with? 

is sex the only way  to dominate?

i am owned by a Gorean Mistress, both r/t and "v/t".

neither of us are lesbian or bi-sexual, and trust me, the fact that we don't have sex with each other in no way limits Her ability to "Master" or "Dominate" me.  or any other slave She has had.

nor does the fact that She owns me and we don't have a sexual relationship deprive me of a sex life.  other arrangements are made.  also, having a sexual relationship elsewhere than with Her does not damage or weaken in anyway Her ownership and control over me.

seems to me of One cannot dominate or control without sex, that would indicate a pretty weak Dominant, wouldn't it?

again, as i said, i'm not familiar with non-Gorean slavery at all so i could be missing something here.  if so i am sure you kind folks will educate me.

respectfully submitted,

lita {Tshai}

(in reply to tendergirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/20/2006 8:43:18 AM   
lisaNgso


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litaTshai

greetings to All,


is sex the only way  to dominate?

seems to me of One cannot dominate or control without sex, that would indicate a pretty weak Dominant, wouldn't it?

again, as i said, i'm not familiar with non-Gorean slavery at all so i could be missing something here.  if so i am sure you kind folks will educate me.

respectfully submitted,

lita {Tshai}


There are many in bdsm and leather where sex is not an aspect of their d/s relationship. Differences exist because we are in fact different.  Efforts to define how all  subs/slaves should act, feel, and what they need will always fall short of the truth because of those differences.  BSDM should be a place where we all feel comfortable expressing our own unique form of kink, rather than be a place where we are forced into a box that doesn't fit. After all, if we believed in accepting the greater standards of a community, we would still be vanilla - and not on this site.

(in reply to litaTshai)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/20/2006 9:41:23 AM   
litaTshai


Posts: 31
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		greetings, lisa

that was kinda my point.  further on down it was specifically stated that She did wish a lesbian relationship.  however from the get-go everyone ASSUMED that's what She was after.

the fact that She was doesn't mean that Others are not different in Their tastes than She.

it was my wish to illustrate that not everyone fits  the assumptions.

i have no wish to dictate how Others are.  couldn't if i wanted to.  but assuming how all folks are is just as bad as trying to dictate how they should be.

i wish you well

respectfully,

lita {Tshai}

(in reply to lisaNgso)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/20/2006 12:10:52 PM   
lisaNgso


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: litaTshai

i have no wish to dictate how Others are.  couldn't if i wanted to.  but assuming how all folks are is just as bad as trying to dictate how they should be.




Your earlier statements  "is sex the only way  to dominate?"

"seems to me of One cannot dominate or control without sex, that would indicate a pretty weak Dominant, wouldn't it?"

I think fairly clearly state your opinion on those who wish their d/s relationship to include sex. 


(in reply to litaTshai)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/22/2006 5:59:13 AM   
friskiesub


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2005
Status: offline 		I loved your reply.  I am GWF, and it is not so easy to find a female Domme.  There are several groups in the MD. area, but if you're the tiniest bit shy (me) how in the h--- are you supposed to walk into a room of people????  Shame there isn't a "training camp/mentor program" available :):)
thank you
friskie

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/22/2006 12:21:27 PM   
lehi396


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline 		how do i find a domme in my areato teach an train me to be a sub or slave

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/22/2006 12:23:16 PM   
lehi396


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline 		opps as i am in the warrenton missouri area close to st.louis missouri

(in reply to lehi396)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/22/2006 12:25:10 PM   
lehi396


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/19/2006
Status: offline 		i really am wanting to be taught

(in reply to lehi396)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/22/2006 12:27:40 PM   
subsue6


Posts: 48
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Mistressfeelgood:
The problem for lesbian Dommes like yourself and lesbian subs like me in getting together is actually more geographic than anything else.  When the two parties are widely separated, it is too difficult to pursue the relationship. But I have you as a Favorite here.
Best, sue
            



(in reply to subtlesubie)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 3/30/2006 7:54:04 AM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline 		As a male sub that is finding it difficult to find a loving relationship long term with a Domme, my observsation is that to many Dommes are looking for a female sub. Either that,  or they want to add to their stable of either male or both sexes as their subs. I only want one on one with my Domme for  along term loving relationship. I do not wish to be a sub that shares his Mistress at all. Well..on second thought maybe if she only wanted a female sub besides me. I guess I am typical male that way. lol BUt mainly I find that there is a big shortage of dominant women period. I guess that's why their is such a thing as pros. Not for this heart. But toeach his/her own.,  

(in reply to tendergirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 5/1/2006 5:19:09 PM   
MsRachelxxx


Posts: 31
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		i have served Masters, Couples, and Mistress's, and enjoyed all, however because of my own lesbian leaning tendensies, i do prefere a Mistress. It does seem it is much easier for a woman to find a position with a Mistress in that there seems to be enough Mistress's looking for female subs/slaves and not enough female subs/slaves available looking for Them. Hang in there, Mistreefeelgood, Ma'm, There are some great people and connections on this site. Good luck to you.

(in reply to tendergirl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 5/3/2006 9:57:44 AM   
sothernnyte


Posts: 95
Joined: 11/22/2005
Status: offline 		as orfunboi said, there are alot of us lesbian submissives out there. we tend to not come rushing out so quickly.

i am lesbian, not bi, and also boi identified. it's a pleasure to meet You.

and i hope You find who You are looking for.

sincerely
sothernnyte

(in reply to tendergirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Female doms/Mistreses - 7/29/2006 7:39:35 PM   
subsue6


Posts: 48
Joined: 9/10/2005
Status: offline 		I am a lesbian sub though there don't seem to be that many on this site. I can't vouch for the bi subs, but I only go with dommes, no males.
                Best, sue

(in reply to Mistressfeelgood)
Profile   Post #: 40
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