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Why do you react? - 11/23/2009 6:39:45 PM   
aphotic


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline 		I know this certainly doesn't apply to a lot of you, but why do so many Dommes react to negative inquiries? I know it's annoying to get copied and pasted messages or one liners, but why waste the writing space on them? They don't read it anyway!

If you used your journals to say what made you happy or disappointed during the day, I'd have a lot more information on which to write you about. Ya know, men writing with their short swords are going to always exist... doesn't mean everyone thinks that way!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Why do you react? - 11/23/2009 6:58:17 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I know this certainly doesn't apply to a lot of you, but why do so many Dommes react to negative inquiries? I know it's annoying to get copied and pasted messages or one liners, but why waste the writing space on them? They don't read it anyway!


We get a lot of flack for not answering.

I usually just say "no thank you" when I'm not interested. I don't really consider that a reaction.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Why do you react? - 11/23/2009 8:36:23 PM   
BiteGirl


Posts: 293
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I don't think I've ever written in my journal. I also make very little mention of time wasters on my profile.

Perhaps the domme's you are speaking of have been around a little longer than I, or don't take breaks from the online stuff, so it gets to them more than it does me?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Why do you react? - 11/23/2009 8:41:18 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aphotic

I know this certainly doesn't apply to a lot of you, but why do so many Dommes react to negative inquiries? I know it's annoying to get copied and pasted messages or one liners, but why waste the writing space on them? They don't read it anyway!

If you used your journals to say what made you happy or disappointed during the day, I'd have a lot more information on which to write you about. Ya know, men writing with their short swords are going to always exist... doesn't mean everyone thinks that way!


While this reply was written orginally to apply to subs and male doms, I believe it can also apply to male subs and female dominants

Does this Sound Familiar

<<<Scribble, Scribble, Write, Write>>>
Male Submissive writes lovely Email

<<< Zip, ZIP, Zoom>>>

Female Dominant looks it over, but is not interested
<<<Scribble, Scribble, Write, Write>>>
Sends no interested Email to Male Submissive

<<< Ssssccccrrrreeeccchhh>>>
Email delivered, but has time as box is filled with cob webs
<<< Male Submissive does happy dance as he see's "new" in screen>>>


<<<Scribble, Pout, Scribble, pout, Write, pout, Write>>>
Upset Male submissive is hurt and keeps asking Why, Why, Why
<<< Zip, ZIP, Zip>> >
<<<Scribble, Scribble, Write, Write>>>
<<<Female Dominant, feeling pressured writes "I'm just not into you>>



<<< Zip, ZIP, Zoom>>>
<<< Ssssccccrrrreeeccchhh>>>
Male submissive reads reply
<<<Face getting red, steam coming out of ears, slams out message>>>
<<<Scribble, Scribble, Write, Write>>>
<<< Zip, ZIP, Zoom>>>
Female Dominant reads reply


Well, YOU are such a F*CKING B*TCH





This kind of treatment is why people
do not reply to emails


_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Why do you react? - 11/23/2009 8:46:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Personally, I'd say because the journal really is for the person writing it to use in any manner that they wish.  I've found Mine to be a very effective way of communicating which events that I plan on attending or writing about what an enjoyable evening I've had. 

If you're asking why I write negative responses to some of the emails I receive, which I do in return email, it is simply because of the fact that a good portion of the time, I wouldn't have received an email in the first place had the person read the information that I've already provided in My profile.  It's honestly very rare for this to occur with any name that is familiar to Me here from the boards.  I get wonderful messages from the regulars here.  Also, I get a lot of topic specific mail (military and BDSM, protocol, poly, etc questions) that I'm happy to receive and reply positively in return.  On the other hand, if someone from across the country writes Me and ignores the fact that the word 'local' appears in My profile no less than three times, I'm not going to be as pleasant about that.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Why do you react? - 11/24/2009 12:32:31 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aphotic


, but why do so many Dommes react to negative inquiries?
TRY sending a positive inquiry..
and you  may get a response not a reaction

I know it's annoying to get copied and pasted messages or one liners, but why waste the writing space on them? They don't read it anyway!
If you do  not want to waste writing space..then you have already decided..
adn I woudl imagine continue to get react-ions
 
 
GM



< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/24/2009 12:33:14 PM >

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Why do you react? - 11/24/2009 12:46:18 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		Off topic, but OP, I think it's pretty funny how you categorized your dislike/hatred of religions. Mormonism as a hard limit made me smile.

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why do you react? - 11/24/2009 3:52:20 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		Lucienne, well, being a former mormon, a hard limit on the same would make sense to me.  So does not fit into my female dominance tendencies in the least.  LOL!

Lady

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why do you react? - 11/24/2009 8:08:52 PM   
aphotic


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

Off topic, but OP, I think it's pretty funny how you categorized your dislike/hatred of religions. Mormonism as a hard limit made me smile.


Well you know, I just don't want to end up with that fruitcake who puts a shock collar on me (as if anyway), and then zaps me up when I go for a caffeinated beverage! I like to live rebellious, getting all hopped up on black tea, and then committing as many quasi-sins as possible. You know what I mean: not tucking in my shirt, cheating on my mission trip and using a car instead of a bike (my divine mission turned out to be finding good chinese food in my town), and of course, getting crazy kinky with girl on top action.

That last one will get you excommunicated from Utah !

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why do you react? - 11/24/2009 11:21:47 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I reply to any mail that is more than one line and shows basic command of the English language.

Mind you, I say aloud, "Goddamn, another fucking moron who can't read," and type, "Thank you for your letter. I am not accepting applications to the household from out of the area. I wish you well in your search." Because it costs me nothing to be polite, and you never know when it might help instead of just disappear into the aether.


_____________________________

I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Why do you react? - 11/25/2009 1:26:58 PM   
stiv2009


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline 		It is strange. From my own trawling I would say an overwhelming majority of Domme profiles have phrases like "Anyone who sends a copy and paste message will be instantly sent to bulk" (as if the posters would read it and then say to themselves - "oh dear - I will have to make this one original then!") but also in the journal sections - "How come people never read my profile" and stuff to that effect.

I have a theory - women are more likely to think that abusive or spam communications come from an act of deliberate intention directed at **them in particular** rather than being an act of general and indiscriminate opportunism. For instance my own mother often complains of attempted fraud emails sent to her - she says something like "You'll never believe it. He even wanted me to give my credit card number over!". I try to tell her - no its not a "he" - its just an automatically generated message being sent to millions the world over - but then a week later she will say something like - "You know, ever since you emailed me from that cafe, I have had many more of these messages. I think they must have got my address from there" - and again I try to tell her, its not a "they" its just a program - but to no avail....

Therefore I am wondering that certain women worry that there might be something in their profile which is inviting such communications - and that some man somewhere is making the conscious decision - this woman looks like she might be receptive to my single line communication - when in reality it is just lazy men who pay no attention to anything at all. Of course everything I write here might be totally specious and unfounded - but like the original poster, I do wonder why so many journals have this kind of epistolary melancholy about them.

Steve


(in reply to AlexandraLynch)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Why do you react? - 11/25/2009 2:09:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stiv2009

It is strange. From my own trawling I would say an overwhelming majority of Domme profiles have phrases like "Anyone who sends a copy and paste message will be instantly sent to bulk" (as if the posters would read it and then say to themselves - "oh dear - I will have to make this one original then!") but also in the journal sections - "How come people never read my profile" and stuff to that effect.

I have a theory - women are more likely to think that abusive or spam communications come from an act of deliberate intention directed at **them in particular** rather than being an act of general and indiscriminate opportunism. For instance my own mother often complains of attempted fraud emails sent to her - she says something like "You'll never believe it. He even wanted me to give my credit card number over!". I try to tell her - no its not a "he" - its just an automatically generated message being sent to millions the world over - but then a week later she will say something like - "You know, ever since you emailed me from that cafe, I have had many more of these messages. I think they must have got my address from there" - and again I try to tell her, its not a "they" its just a program - but to no avail....

Therefore I am wondering that certain women worry that there might be something in their profile which is inviting such communications - and that some man somewhere is making the conscious decision - this woman looks like she might be receptive to my single line communication - when in reality it is just lazy men who pay no attention to anything at all. Of course everything I write here might be totally specious and unfounded - but like the original poster, I do wonder why so many journals have this kind of epistolary melancholy about them.

Steve




Unless you are referring to general spam, it *is* directed at one in particular.  You literally make that choice when you choose to send whatever it is you send in email.  It is a conscious decision.  It's not an automatic program.

What really happens in a number of cases, is males immediately tend to show one of several unattractive qualities before they even write a message:

Laziness - Either by lacking to read the profile of the person they are contacting or by sending some type of form letter.  If no effort can be invested in making an initial contact, how does that translate in what type of person he is?  Not to mention, no one wants a lazy submissive.

Lack of comprehension - Yes, people's definitions of words like "local" may very a bit, but nobody considers thousands of miles 'local'.  If I can't say something in a profile and have it paid attention to, how do I know I won't be ignored if I'm supposed to be the one in charge around here?

Inability to take direction/follow rules - This covers areas such as women who say they aren't interested in chatting, but receive chat requests, or for areas like online Domination.  If someone can listen to the bare minimum of what is acceptable, why would I want someone like that in My life. 

By the way, this isn't all on male submissives.  From what I understand, the female subs have the very same issues with some of the male Dominants who contact them.  Unlike Alexandra, I just don't have the patience for that 20 - 30 times a day.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stiv2009)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why do you react? - 11/25/2009 5:26:14 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I just restarted my AuntStrict nic...  and stated clearly is that my bulk mail is set to OTHER STATES AND COUNTRIES and such mail will be deleted unread.  I have deleted a LOT of mail!  (yes, I do scan the list for my friends first).   I delete chat requests too, and yes, it says that I do not chat or cam. 

Compliments get kind responses.  Lately, I have taken to actually REPORTING the spam mail as spam!  Sometimes I write back to the person and let them know I am doing this, and remind them that after X amount of notifications their profiles get pulled! Yepper, Evil Hib likes to play!

Mostly I don't let the dregs get me down, but sometimes... I have to spit back.  Last week one man wrote to me FIVE TIMES in less than a day, an array of notes ranging from his likes, his life, and his REQUIREMENTS.  What is his first requirement?  MONOGAMY.   So he is wasting our mutual time WHY?  Because he likes big tits?  He could have just written to say, Hey, nice tits! 

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why do you react? - 11/25/2009 5:46:24 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		I'm rather confused here.  If you know that many Dommes react to negative inquiries then you must be sending negative inquiries to have that information.  You are a male submissive.  Why are you acting in a way that will get you no closer to finding the Domme you seek?  Acting like a dork will not make you friends, influence people, or attract a Domme.  

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why do you react? - 12/3/2009 8:42:51 AM   
WickedSilk


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aphotic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

Off topic, but OP, I think it's pretty funny how you categorized your dislike/hatred of religions. Mormonism as a hard limit made me smile.


Well you know, I just don't want to end up with that fruitcake who puts a shock collar on me (as if anyway), and then zaps me up when I go for a caffeinated beverage! I like to live rebellious, getting all hopped up on black tea, and then committing as many quasi-sins as possible. You know what I mean: not tucking in my shirt, cheating on my mission trip and using a car instead of a bike (my divine mission turned out to be finding good chinese food in my town), and of course, getting crazy kinky with girl on top action.

That last one will get you excommunicated from Utah !

quote:

That last one will get you excommunicated from Utah !




As someone born in Utah and lived until 11, this cracked me up.
I needed a good laugh and this gave it.

Thanks!

Ms. Danielle

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why do you react? - 12/4/2009 3:40:21 AM   
Santoro


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline 		Take a few moments and analyze the responses you have just received, far reaching answers to questions you have yet to ask, are revealed there.

< Message edited by Santoro -- 12/4/2009 4:34:52 AM >

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why do you react? - 12/4/2009 10:20:07 AM   
QuirkyAnne


Posts: 268
Joined: 9/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

By the way, this isn't all on male submissives. From what I understand, the female subs have the very same issues with some of the male Dominants who contact them.


Absolutely true.  I get at least three of those a day asking me for things I have in my dislike/hard limits section, or specifically state I'm not interested in on the written portion of my profile.  If I can't be polite, I simply ignore it.  When they send me negative emails, I respond in turn and use the magic "block" button.

Anne

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why do you react? - 12/4/2009 11:13:00 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Im with You OP.  But I also think that if a Domme is angry She should show it in her reply. i dont know but there is something about an angry Woman that is strangely attractive for me, they seem more authentic and real rather than the politically correct thank you for your mail but line. No for me if a Woman is angry She is well within Her rights to say DONT BLOODY WELL SEND ME A MESSAGE AGAIN CAN YOU NOT READ or something similar
Laughs
Kevin

(in reply to aphotic)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why do you react? - 12/4/2009 11:51:16 AM   
angeldmort


Posts: 54
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		Just did that again today - wrote to say "don't write me again - you've sent me this same crap message THREE TIMES, word for word, and twice in the last week." I told him it shows he's the worst kind of lazy. I think these guys get paid by the click.
It's not even a whole one. Looks like he cut off a chunk when he copied it, all three times.

"Hello I am a 34 year old male k9 bitchboy. I am seeking to find a real time owner who is not into games. I am very open minded and willing to please. I travel often for work and relocation is not a problem to serve a real"  

A real what?

< Message edited by angeldmort -- 12/4/2009 11:52:06 AM >

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why do you react? - 12/4/2009 11:54:13 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's funny how they send cut and paste FIRST emails, but manage to send bitchy replies for the second one, isn't it? Hello? WHY would you tell me that you have a cam if I specifically SAY that I do not cam? Hmph.



_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to angeldmort)
Profile   Post #: 20
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