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RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/4/2004 1:05:14 AM

WayHome

Posts: 237
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theroebabe
well i am ok with your kink is ok but its not mine, however, when trying to meet potential partners if thats the best he has to offer then he will miss out on some wonderful people.

Then it sounds like he wrote the perfect personal add. He has filtered out a lot of wonderful people, people who should have nothing to do with him. If every personal add was as effective at turning off readers who are unsuitable then we'd all be a lot better off.

;-)

Leto

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 21

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/4/2004 7:43:04 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WayHome

Then it sounds like he wrote the perfect personal add. He has filtered out a lot of wonderful people, people who should have nothing to do with him. If every personal add was as effective at turning off readers who are unsuitable then we'd all be a lot better off.

;-)

Leto

Hi Leto

yes thats a great way to look at it! Weeds out the no thank you's and lets you concentrate on the possibibities!

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to WayHome)

Post #: 22

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/8/2004 11:31:39 PM

RealityFix

Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline

Sighs.........It sounds like he needs to go back and resolve some personal issues.

No one should be *looking* with this kind of poison inside. Obviously some woman in his past has done him damage, but you can't take out the sins of ONE on all of the rest.

As far as the doormat thing? No such thing. Someone seeking abuse is not *obedient*,she is pathologically unsound. BIG difference between the desire to serve, and mental dysfunction.

I wish "submissives" who feel the constant need to donkey bray about how "strong" they are would realize that deep levels of surrender take MUCH more strength than the shallow desire to *remain* in control that you being "strong" shows.

I see the inability to trust,to always be paranoically checking and rechecking,and babbling on and on about it,to actually be a WEAKNESS in a sub/slave, however you want to label it.

It just shows you are conflicted, and confused ladies. Not to mention insecure. I realize that this comes from the huge number of selfish posers who portray themselves as "Dominants".

I know it's hard to WANT to give SO much,but then find your only real value is seen as sex toy..Not real great for self esteem.

Just please, don't forget that there are men out there who do want ALL of you,not just a compliant body.

Bessings,Terry

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 23

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/9/2004 6:07:13 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityFix

Sighs.........It sounds like he needs to go back and resolve some personal issues.

Hi Terry yes he does and I seem to get see a lot of it and its a shame.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RealityFix

I see the inability to trust,to always be paranoically checking and rechecking,and babbling on and on about it,to actually be a WEAKNESS in a sub/slave, however you want to label it.

It just shows you are conflicted, and confused ladies. Not to mention insecure. I realize that this comes from the huge number of selfish posers who portray themselves as "Dominants".

Your first paragraph can you explain a little more on what you are referring to? Hopefully it is not my quest for information and pne of the reasons for these boards in the first place, so before i jump to conclusions i wonder if you can provide some insight?

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to RealityFix)

Post #: 24

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/13/2004 7:28:50 PM

BadViking

Posts: 2
Joined: 9/7/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theroebabe
I snipped this from a profile....
"Some things I despise are smart mouthed, loud women that seem to think they need to prove they are brighter than the men they are around. My opinion is that they don't know their place."

Isn't it wonderful that a profile gives you the chance to steer clear of this persons half of the hemisphere?
There are intelligent and less intelligent on both sides of the fence. And they are usually equally scary in their ignorance.

BV

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 25

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/13/2004 7:47:27 PM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

You know that is what I think, Roe -

Although it is why I like being about you and the girl - you both whip me soooo good.

And, I am coming naked...

~J

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 26

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/13/2004 10:25:19 PM

TheLadyAlisad

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/15/2004
Status: offline

Okay folks, this is a very nice tree and all, but I would like to call your attention to the FOREST!!
Has everyone forgotten that the fakes abound here?? They sit back and wait to prey on O/our newbie brothers and sisters who are simply trying to learn.
Some of them are very difficult to spot. However, some are almost laughably transparent. This is one of those. He obviously missed last weeks homework assignment, not to mention most of the classes for the year.
So we come here and point out his mistakes and suddenly his nick is gone and a profile appears that is full of caring, gentleness and the correct rhetoric????

STOP IT! Get Y/your giggles and leave him clueless.

Alisad

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 27

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 7:54:30 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline

You know that is what I think, Roe -

Although it is why I like being about you and the girl - you both whip me soooo good.

And, I am coming naked...

~J

Hey J!

Yes i know what you think lolol and it makes me laugh to picture you saying it!

WHOO hoo naked people kewl, then you dont need a swimsuit for the hot tub! oh bababy! This is turning into a great party!!!!!!!

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to LordODiscipline)

Post #: 28

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 7:56:54 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyAlisad

Okay folks, this is a very nice tree and all, but I would like to call your attention to the FOREST!!
Has everyone forgotten that the fakes abound here?? They sit back and wait to prey on O/our newbie brothers and sisters who are simply trying to learn.
Some of them are very difficult to spot. However, some are almost laughably transparent. This is one of those. He obviously missed last weeks homework assignment, not to mention most of the classes for the year.
So we come here and point out his mistakes and suddenly his nick is gone and a profile appears that is full of caring, gentleness and the correct rhetoric????

STOP IT! Get Y/your giggles and leave him clueless.

Alisad

HI Alisad

well yes this type of stuff just amazes me that people actually write it and think who hoo i am the domliest of doms bow before me, like come on bubba wake up before some ticked off subbie bats you in the head with a frying pan! It is just sad that this type of profile might actually get someone to take him up on his offer. Lets hope that sub reads the forums first!

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to TheLadyAlisad)

Post #: 29

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 7:59:02 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BadViking

Isn't it wonderful that a profile gives you the chance to steer clear of this persons half of the hemisphere?
There are intelligent and less intelligent on both sides of the fence. And they are usually equally scary in their ignorance.

BV

Hi BV,

yes thats true and the day i saw this popping up on my screen i can say was definitely not a good day for me. its so sad to see this type of mentality in the world. Yes and the pic reminded me of napoleon so lol i know not someone i will be writing to any time at all! Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to BadViking)

Post #: 30

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 8:55:21 AM

TheSadisticOne

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/15/2004
Status: offline

the bottom line for Me theroebabe is that I'm not here to judge anyones 'approach' or judge those that are 'attracted' to the various 'approaches'. there is a subtle difference between 'choosing' a slave and 'settling' for what you get. the author of the profile might look into the former . . . it might ease His frustration index. there is a mate for everyone in this lifestyle and if you don't find personal resonance with what you read, why waste your precious time pondering the intricacies of O/ones 'game'. all too often, I read in these threads how W/we search for conformity in O/our individual approaches to relationships within the lifestyle. the lifestyle offers no 'cookie cutter' approach for everyone...so why look at this individual as having issues. I'm sure that there are even seasoned lifestyle subs/slaves that His words resonate with and who are looking for that type of personality to complete 'them'. as a Dom, My slave begins as a lump of formless clay and is molded into the image that I want at My side...it is for Me to shape and change what doesn't 'resonate' with Me in My world . . . therein lies the strength of a Master/Dominant . . . the slave becomes a reflection of that strength.

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 31

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 9:05:14 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheSadisticOne

if you don't find personal resonance with what you read, why waste your precious time pondering the intricacies of O/ones 'game'.

Well i did not actively look for this profile it just showed up so, it was sort of like a car wreck that i had to see.

quote:

My slave begins as a lump of formless clay and is molded into the image that I want at My side...it is for Me to shape and change what doesn't 'resonate' with Me in My world . . . therein lies the strength of a Master/Dominant . . . the slave becomes a reflection of that strength.

That is your choice of course to want to take a lump of formless clay but most dominants want a person for a sub, they may want to change certain things. However, if the core person and personality is not what they want then yes they should and do most certainly move on. And it works both ways.

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to TheSadisticOne)

Post #: 32

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 9:53:12 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

short answer - no, this is not what all doms think

expanded version - like life in general there is a continuum among doms - so it is not surprising that you may find one (or even many) who do think this way about subs

as a counterpoint, I cannot even begin to count the number of Dominatrixes whose profiles read something along the lines of 'all men are scum unfit to lap the dogshit from the bottom of my thighhigh stilettoheeled boots' - does this then mean all Dommes think that way??? No, of course not (IMNTBHO)

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 33

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/14/2004 10:09:53 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Thanatosian

as a counterpoint, I cannot even begin to count the number of Dominatrixes whose profiles read something along the lines of 'all men are scum unfit to lap the dogshit from the bottom of my thighhigh stilettoheeled boots' - does this then mean all Dommes think that way??? No, of course not (IMNTBHO)

Well since i do not see those ads popping up and invading my screen then some of them are just as bad. However some men like the humiliation that comes along with it, dfferent strokes for different folks! I just was in a mood that day i think lolol most of the times i dont let the idiots get me down!

Roe

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to Thanatosian)

Post #: 34

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/25/2004 5:50:15 PM

TakingYouNOW

Posts: 3
Joined: 9/23/2004
Status: offline

A "DOM" with a post like that is anything BUT a "DOM". He's a wounded bitter dumbass that is on here looking for women to torture. It should be obvious.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 35

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/25/2004 6:31:38 PM

ShrewWhisperer

Posts: 63
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLadyAlisad

Okay folks, this is a very nice tree and all, but I would like to call your attention to the FOREST!!
Has everyone forgotten that the fakes abound here?? They sit back and wait to prey on O/our newbie brothers and sisters who are simply trying to learn.
Some of them are very difficult to spot. However, some are almost laughably transparent. This is one of those. He obviously missed last weeks homework assignment, not to mention most of the classes for the year.
So we come here and point out his mistakes and suddenly his nick is gone and a profile appears that is full of caring, gentleness and the correct rhetoric????

This is a really good point...an entire generation went from being dean martin to being alan alda because of what they learned to be 'acceptable' to a modern woman but then just stayed the same on a day-in-day-out basis, we all know women caught in this kind of relationship cuz they bought into the advertising.

Now maybe that's their fault for not being smarter but everytime one of them ends up in the media cuz thier 'domineering husband' killed her, well that makes it harder to get to the top of a slippery slope where our life is just another thing out there...rather than having this unsavory flavor to it as perceived by the straight population.

but with Theroebabe's orginal point, it is sad and outrageous but the guy hates men the same way as he hates women, he's pissed at the world cuz something didn't come true in his life and he didn't have a backup plan. Other than shooting him there ain't much that can be done to put him out of his, and our, misery.

(in reply to TheLadyAlisad)

Post #: 36

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/26/2004 3:03:27 AM

TheSadisticOne

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That is your choice of course to want to take a lump of formless clay but most dominants want a person for a sub, they may want to change certain things. However, if the core person and personality is not what they want then yes they should and do most certainly move on. And it works both ways.

Roe

the 'lump of formless clay' is not a reference to a stupid mindless automatron that blindly follows every spoken word roe. it is My clean slate approach to relationships that allows Me to show My submissive what pleases Me, regardless of her previous experiences. are Masters and slaves compatibility solely based on the needs of the Master...of course not. I clearly define at the very least what My specific needs and expectations are with My sub. if there is accord, its a wonderful thing. To condemn an 'approach' because it does't resonate with you or, conversely, for you to think that any one view represents the view of some, most, or all Masters is a rather myoptic view of a diverse community. it boils down to how W/we are all wired. there is no right or wrong, good or bad, unless it isn't 'consensual'...that is the only qualification that I see delineating acceptable behavior from 'unacceptable'. embrace the diversity of O/our lifestyle and accept the fact that W/we are all wired differently.

(in reply to ShrewWhisperer)

Post #: 37

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/26/2004 4:21:40 AM

MattyP

Posts: 20
Joined: 9/17/2004
Status: offline

The opinions thus far have been pretty much as thorough as it gets, but I thought I'd toss in my voice too.

No, not all Dom/mes think this way. I, myself, believe that men and women are equal where it matters, and the choice of a woman to submit or Domme is her RIGHT, just as it is a man's right to Dominate or submit. It is a mutual, consentual understanding.

This person either has a problem over-judging his own worth or has had problems with females. Either way, it's wrong. I have a good friend who, because she has had several bad instances with men, is developing feministic tendencies. And you can bet that this means that more and more she gets pissy at me, because I am a Dom of female submissives, including our mutual best friend and my old girlfriend. The long distance pet I had before that was constantly going from loving, sweet pet to homicidal and bitchy, and last we spoke, she vowed to pray for my violent death every night because I didn't "get her" (nevermind that she was too proud to tell me what was on her mind. But I digress.) My old gf (the one who is seeking submission to me now) has had a long history of leaving me for more "dangerous" guys and falling back on me when they turned out to be jerks (this was before I was seeking D/s RL). Point being, I have had my own bad history with women in my life, but I would never think that they are below me, or think such rediculous notions that their only place is on their knees.

In my humble opinion, if you feel that way...really, what's the point? I love D/s because of the swell in my heart when a submissive CHOOSES to give herself completely to me, because she loves and trusts me. If you think women are meant to be there...where's the joy in that?

On a parting note, I would like to add that I have seen this in a small number of Dommes as well, who believe that men are fat, stupid, slow, and think with their nether regions, and are only good for pleasuring them. Sexism has many faces, and all are as equally rediculous (to me, at least)

(in reply to TheSadisticOne)

Post #: 38

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/26/2004 5:36:41 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheSadisticOne

the 'lump of formless clay' is not a reference to a stupid mindless automatron that blindly follows every spoken word roe. it is My clean slate approach to relationships that allows Me to show My submissive what pleases Me, regardless of her previous experiences. are Masters and slaves compatibility solely based on the needs of the Master...of course not. I clearly define at the very least what My specific needs and expectations are with My sub. if there is accord, its a wonderful thing. To condemn an 'approach' because it does't resonate with you or, conversely, for you to think that any one view represents the view of some, most, or all Masters is a rather myoptic view of a diverse community. it boils down to how W/we are all wired. there is no right or wrong, good or bad, unless it isn't 'consensual'...that is the only qualification that I see delineating acceptable behavior from 'unacceptable'. embrace the diversity of O/our lifestyle and accept the fact that W/we are all wired differently.

MY question is how can someone be a clean slate? We are who we are from our past expereinces. How do you erase all the years of hisotry and "programming" for lack of a better word? And some people do want mindless drones to do their bidding i was with one for 2 years and obviously it didnt work out lol.

I am condemming in a way the doormat/mindless approach in a way as it does not promote good mental health in a partner. Unfortunately i doubt any that follow that will be here on the boards, but maybe a sub/slave will see it and realize hmm maybe this is whats bothering me.

Of course when i find a dom i will want to learn what pleases him and his ways a good sub or slave will always do that so to me thats a normal part of learning about your dom/me. So that is not new to me. Nor is a dom wanting that to be a requirement, it is a valid expectation on the doms part.

My offense was taken on the words lump of clay. We are already formed and shaped as we are right now, so how do you unmake those things except thru training to reshape the person into what you want versus making them a lump of formless clay?

I guess we just look at it differently and thats fine too.

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to TheSadisticOne)

Post #: 39

RE: Is this what Dom's really think? - 9/26/2004 1:52:32 PM

TheSadisticOne

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/15/2004
Status: offline

quote:

MY question is how can someone be a clean slate?

the question should be, roe, why do you wish to approach a relationship as if the submissive is a clean slate with NO history...I don't want to apply any preconceptions to the submissive based on past relationships or what they have or haven't done. Although W/we are the sum total of O/our collective experiences, W/we shouldn't apply the 'a priori' knowledge as a blanket approach to the path of EVERY relationship...pretty boring don't you think. Yes a RED FLAG will always be a RED FLAG and should be acted on accordingly. I do want to make sure that My submissives understand My needs clearly and I will actively pursue understanding theirs. its really pretty simple...see Me for who I am not who you want to see and I will do the same for you with the exception that if I see something that doesn't resonate with My requirement/needs, I will change it. if those requirements/needs are beyond the scope of the submissives willingness to adapt/change then she has every right to be granted her release...immediately.

quote:

My offense was taken on the words lump of clay. We are already formed and shaped as we are right now, so how do you unmake those things except thru training to reshape the person into what you want versus making them a lump of formless clay?

you needn't 'take offense', unless this is what you are looking for. I never stated that I wanted to 'make a formless lump of clay'...how uninspired is that. you are sticking on the semantics and missing the content. of course you are already 'formed' that doesn't mean that it is the form that 'I' want to see in you. the analogy is that of an artist forming a finished piece that is to 'their' liking from a 'lump of clay' that, although it has shape and mass, lacks the 'form' ultimately created by the artist to 'their' liking and design. the submissive offers her gift and it is up to her Master to create the form that is to His liking. your submission is a 'gift' that can only be offer by you...by doing so you place yourself in the hands of One that you 'trust' to keep you on a healthy path. you stated that you understand that this is what submissive natures do, so why the continuing confusion . . . draw a deep breath roe . . . put away the angst . . . I don't want to 'unmake' anyone . . . I do impose My will on the 'grand design' of My submissive . . . if that path is not for her . . . she will find My door has no locks.

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 40

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