Training one self (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message


getuwet216 -> Training one self (11/26/2009 2:15:22 PM)

Greetings to all Dommes and everyone,

I have been a curious submissive for a long time in search for a Domme. Unfortuntely, most I have run into are professionals or simply after my bank account number.

After spending a long time searching for a Goddess i can worship, i have decided to take matters into my own hands and gotten some toys (mostly plugs) to train myself with.

My question is, do Dommes prefer innocent submissives to train, or would they rather take on someone with some experience? Also, how can i further myself to become an attractive commodity in this competitive world and find a Goddess to worship?

- slave mark.




AAkasha -> RE: Training one self (11/26/2009 2:20:30 PM)



Personally I prefer subs that have not done so much self experimentation that the woman ultimately is just another accessory. It's so much more special and erotic if a man submits to me, not the toys. 

I'd also suggest a better screenname that is not overtly sexual, but that's just me.

Biggest rule of finding and connecting with a (non pro) femdom is that it's the same as courting a vanilla girlfriend.  Chemistry, mutual attraction, relationship comes first for women, in general.  The rest follows.  No quick fix or fast track.

Akasha




Miyani -> RE: Training one self (11/27/2009 10:37:04 AM)

~FR~

Training is great. I love a man who comes to Me having already made some effort to improve himself. But, if dilating his asshole is what he thought I'd find valuable, I'd be showing him the door.

You really want to train yourself so that you're useful to a Domme? Take a cooking class, or a bootblacking class, or a massage class. Hire a maid service and really watch what they do, so you can do it better. Learn some landscaping basics, or even something frivolous like tea service.

But please, don't think the amount your asshole can take is anything but a minor detail to most of us.




LadyPact -> RE: Training one self (11/27/2009 10:49:24 AM)

The two ladies above are correct in their comments, in My opinion.  The screen name is the first impression anyone is going to get and it's sexually based.  In other words, you just made yourself as appealing as any other random person who has hopes of getting laid.  That's not exactly something that women find hard to come by.  If the best you have to offer is how much you can take up the ass is your shining quality, there's no surprise that you haven't found anyone yet.  It's not as though everyone else on the planet doesn't have one, too.  It's not as great of a "commodity" as you think.






Underumam -> RE: Training one self (11/27/2009 10:57:01 AM)

Op-the ladies are right about this subject imo. I can add that one is either sub or not. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting. If you are truly submissive the only training you can administer to yourself is through the opportunities to serve others that the natural course of life presents to you. It has nothing to do with sex.........

And besides, when/if you find a Domme, she will most likely want the thrill of breaking your hole in Herself...lol.




GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Training one self (11/27/2009 9:23:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting.




well if they have trained their cake hole..sure..[:-]
TO speak politely...engage in conversation...to know when it opens it should have good things to say...

But seriously you cannot base a relationship on a un/stretched hole..
wow..cool...how novel...[:o]

GM




CarrieO -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 2:26:02 AM)

I guess it all comes down to how you define "service".

The OP appears to define it as sexual.  In reading his profile I find he presents himself as having little more to offer than this. 

quote:


Oh how i long to serve a Mistress. my need grows day by day, and being plugged and trained certainly makes me want to be on my knees sooner rather than later.


quote:


Until that day, i will find ways to train myself and get myself ready for her, so that i don't disappoint.


OP, I would like to suggest that you take the time, as the other ladies have stated, to better yourself as a person and worry less about how much you can stretch your asshole.  Sex is a wonderful thing but when your main focus in a relationship is based on it, you've set yourself up for disappointment. 

You're admittedly young and inexperienced...find a local munch, get out into the community and meet people.  While doing that, worry less about "self-training" sexually and more about developing yourself as a person who has something more to offer a dominant partner.
 
Kinky men are everywhere....strive for something more.  The benefits will amaze you!




MistressRouge -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 2:41:57 AM)

Nothing beats an anal virgin for Me, however I enjoy those that can accommodate My fists also [:D]




slaveluci -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 5:14:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: getuwet216
My question is, do Dommes prefer innocent submissives to train, or would they rather take on someone with some experience? Also, how can i further myself to become an attractive commodity in this competitive world and find a Goddess to worship?

This is like asking "What kind of woman does a man want?" So generic, so vague. Not all men or women want the same things...not all "dommes" do either. What pleases one dominant woman will turn another off. You won't know how to be "attractive" to a certain one until you meet her. It's that simple..............luci




MaamJay -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 5:32:34 AM)

I'm with the other Ladies on this one. Self training that would interest Me are service skills, and also self-discipline in terms of obedience, manners, being able to keep hands off the cock when told to, ability to learn from mistakes that are corrected, willingness to take feedback on board etc! I enjoy ass play ... but as someone else suggested, I'd rather break it in Myself!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]




DianeB269 -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 5:36:47 AM)

I always looked for guys with no BDSM background just to see if I could pull them over to the dark side...It was more of a challenge to turn a straight nilla guy into sub/slave...

Diane




thishereboi -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 6:33:10 AM)

If you want to play with yourself, I say go for it. People masturbate all the time and a lot of them use toys. I have never heard them refer to it as "training" but if that works for you, that's great.




CherokeeRose2 -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 7:31:30 AM)

Pleasuring yourself isn't training any more than asking someone to pleasure you is serving that person.




Underumam -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 8:31:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Underumam

. Training ones hole is not even classified as training when it comes to submitting.




well if they have trained their cake hole..sure..[:-]
TO speak politely...engage in conversation...to know when it opens it should have good things to say...

But seriously you cannot base a relationship on a un/stretched hole..
wow..cool...how novel...[:o]

GM


*can't stop cracking up* lolololololololol....




GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 10:54:01 AM)

[:D][:'(][:D]

GM




Ladynslave -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 11:35:23 AM)

As in any situation in life, different women like different things.  Personally, the sexual screen name doesn't bother me nor does the fact that you like plugs.  What I don't see on your profile is anything that you bring to the table.  It's all about what you want yet mentions nothing about what you can offer a lady.  Those of us that are looking would like to know what you can add to our lives, not what we can add to yours.  The service oriented skills that you currently possess or are currently learning would be a good start.  Can you cook?  Do you set a perfect table?  Do you love making beds first thing in the morning?  Can you tell the difference between a weed and a new sprouted flower?  Can you put an addition on a house or tile a bathroom?  Do you know how to work on cars?  Are you taking any classes to learn new things?  These and many others are things women want to know about their men.  Dommes want to know them about their subs as well.  Focus on what you can provide and take the focus off what you want and you might have some better luck.




Ladynslave -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 11:39:44 AM)

That reminds me, it's probably time to do some work on our profile, too.  LOL!




getuwet216 -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 12:41:32 PM)

Very insightful comments, thank you all for correcting me. I realize i was being selfish in focusing on my needs instead of making myself better and learning to provide for the needs of my eventual Mistress.

I have given up on using any toys thus far in hopes that it would be a lesson, and a reminder that i must first focus on improving myself in other areas. I will be spending the next few days trying to focus on learning specific skills. Cooking is not something i like, but i have good planning and organization skills.

I would appreciate all the insights and continued guidance i can get.




Underumam -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 12:51:45 PM)

It's just like any other relationship. Know yourself, and your strengths/weaknesses, be real/honest about them, and present yourself as such. The right one will eventually connect with you.




MstrPBK -> RE: Training one self (11/28/2009 1:04:43 PM)

My stupid, biased, dumb, opinion is that learning how not to be selfish is ok ... leaving all your defense mechanizes at the door can dangerous however. Becoming what is referred to as a doormat (or worse) needs to be avoided as well.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA




Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875