RE: inspired submission (Full Version)

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breatheasone -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:19:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i would say if the ONLY reason an "s" type submits is because the "s" type HAS to be inspired to do so, then they are probably not really an "s" type.


Why not? I'd bet it happens all the time. There isn't just one type of "s".

Seen many an "s" who was inspired by their job situation to come into the 'Hellfire' club on a Friday night, peel off their 'Chanel' business suit, strap themselves to a leather swing under a sign that says ""beat me, fuck me, cum & piss on me"; go home to their husband and tell him where to make reservations for Saturday's night dinner after the theater. Back on Monday morning they're back as CEO. She may not be inspired to go back to the club for another 4 months. That's an intelligent, self confident, "s" type, inspired by circumstances; and was a generally fun woman be around even when she wasn't "inspired".

 i absolutely believe there are ALL kinds of all kinds of people.....TO ME what i said i meant....TO ME i wouldn't consider someone an "s" type if the ONLY reason they did it was a tit for tat kind of deal...."you inspire me or i won't submit"....i stand by my opinion.



wisdomtogive -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:19:48 AM)

Hi lally:)

You know i tend to inspirie myself in my submissive persona. My biggest submission as you and i have talked about is giving myself completely over to the God/Goddess forms i serve. Even as a child being raised Jewish, my drive was always to serve a higher purpose, and to be used by God.  As i grew and learned more about life etc. i came into paganism and wanted to serve the Goddess. Because of this, I breath daily in serving. Being widow now for 4 years, and living more in my mind as a submissive to other's then having the total opportunity, has also given me the edge to see what i am made of in regards to being 'inspire' to serve, and why i serve. So to have a Dom inspire me to serve is a blessing, but i already been inspired through myself. I do hope that makes sense.

I am comfortable with the i submissive and am inspire to present it through all i do and touch. I work from inspiration to better myself in the eyes of who i pray to and devote myself. It is through them that i must do a b  c. I do not feel a Dom is the gateway to using my submission either.  I simply am and am blessed with it

Edited to add, lally
As you know i do not believe in truism or the only way either. i do believe though in being true to ourselves and the walks we claim to walk in our talk. You know that walk..wink..the one with tree trunks down and twisted roads ..the one called life:) Adore you sweetie keep walking :)



Roselaure -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:20:17 AM)

The need to submit is in me, inherent in my nature.  That doesn't have to be inspired.  Actually, I think I am uncomfortable with the term "inspiration" in this context.  My owner didn't inspire me.  We had chemistry immediately, and as we got to know each other I submitted to him, as attraction grew and trust was built.  Having been in a relationship with him for a while, I have become more deeply submissive to him, he has taught me a great deal, and I love and adore him beyond description, but "inspiration"? Meh. 



lally2 -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:26:44 AM)

i think people inspire people all of the time and yes, at the time of submission to one man in particular i was inspired within, it touched whatever part of me that needed to go there and i went. that doesnt happen every time by any means and i didnt think at the time, 'oh wow im inspired' - but in the same way that you go to an art gallery or watch a film or hear about something sad or happy you are inspired at that moment to feel or experience fully whatever it is.

its something that you dont necessarily identify as such, just that that person does have an impact when someone else wouldnt.

if inspired doesnt suit some people, then another word may work better, moved, compelled, attracted, drawn - my vocab can be a bit flowery at times [&:]

to strip submission or dominance down to simple need makes it too pragmatic and for some of us, pragmatism has nothing to do with the emotions invovled. if it were just a need and nothing more all submissives and all dominants would be fixed up and going like rockets. its just not that simple.



Mercnbeth -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:27:52 AM)

quote:

TO ME i wouldn't consider someone an "s" type if the ONLY reason they did it was a tit for tat kind of deal..


So that would mean, if they aren't, in your opinion, an "s" type they would be a "D" type since they require (dominance) inspiration? What if all it took for dominance to be inspired was a certain 'look' or body type. People admit that's the case often. The expectation should be once that "tit", 'look' is gone, the "tat", 'inspiration' will be leaving with it.

Would that be mutual dominance under conditional inspiring or mutual submission inspiring actions?



breatheasone -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:33:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

TO ME i wouldn't consider someone an "s" type if the ONLY reason they did it was a tit for tat kind of deal..


So that would mean, if they aren't, in your opinion, an "s" type they would be a "D" type since they require (dominance) inspiration? What if all it took for dominance to be inspired was a certain 'look' or body type. People admit that's the case often. The expectation should be once that "tit", 'look' is gone, the "tat", 'inspiration' will be leaving with it.

Would that be mutual dominance under conditional inspiring or mutual submission inspiring actions?

**Hmmm scratching my head**
If a person (supposedly an "s" type) submits O-N-L-Y because they feel "inspired," TO ME they are not really an "s" type. ymmv



windchymes -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:41:28 AM)

"Inspiration" doesn't have to be active, it can be passive, too.  A d-type doesn't have to roar, or wave whips around or march around in boots and a leather cape to be "inspiring".  For me, it's seeing the person he is inside, his character, how he lives his life, things he's done with his life, how he treats the people in all walks of his life, that inspires me to want to be submissive to him, to WANT be the best submissive and companion to him that I can be, to WANT to make him happy, even, to sound corny for a second, to WANT to fulfill all his wants and needs and to even try to make his dreams and fantasies come true. 

In other words, I can sit back and observe him just being himself when he's NOT trying to be a d-type, and that makes me feel inspired. 



lally2 -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:43:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

TO ME i wouldn't consider someone an "s" type if the ONLY reason they did it was a tit for tat kind of deal..


So that would mean, if they aren't, in your opinion, an "s" type they would be a "D" type since they require (dominance) inspiration? What if all it took for dominance to be inspired was a certain 'look' or body type. People admit that's the case often. The expectation should be once that "tit", 'look' is gone, the "tat", 'inspiration' will be leaving with it.

Would that be mutual dominance under conditional inspiring or mutual submission inspiring actions?

**Hmmm scratching my head**
If a person (supposedly an "s" type) submits O-N-L-Y because they feel "inspired," TO ME they are not really an "s" type. ymmv




im scratching my head a bit too - how does the feeling of being inspired by someone to express themselves in the fullest possible way detract from their submission or dominance.

for that inspiration (or whatever word you prefer) to happen they have to trust, respect, admire, wish to be all that they can be for themselves as well as their Ds or Ms partner. whether that be for a few hours in a club or a lifetime.

youre christianity is inspired by love, faith, spiritual/community need - nothing wrong with that and that inspiriation, spiritual, emotional, physical faith is absolute.



Mercnbeth -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:45:10 AM)

quote:

**Hmmm scratching my head**
If a person (supposedly an "s" type) submits O-N-L-Y because they feel "inspired," TO ME they are not really an "s" type. ymmv

"Only" - All the other factors being in place but one qualifies as "only".

"I'm ready to submit naturally but "only" after being inspired to do so."; would be words from someone who, in your opinon, isn't really an "s" type? Inspired by looks, financial status, single-tail skills; the submission is conditional which becomes the dominant force of the relationship. It isn't submission.

Agree.



breatheasone -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 9:50:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

TO ME i wouldn't consider someone an "s" type if the ONLY reason they did it was a tit for tat kind of deal..


So that would mean, if they aren't, in your opinion, an "s" type they would be a "D" type since they require (dominance) inspiration? What if all it took for dominance to be inspired was a certain 'look' or body type. People admit that's the case often. The expectation should be once that "tit", 'look' is gone, the "tat", 'inspiration' will be leaving with it.

Would that be mutual dominance under conditional inspiring or mutual submission inspiring actions?

**Hmmm scratching my head**
If a person (supposedly an "s" type) submits O-N-L-Y because they feel "inspired," TO ME they are not really an "s" type. ymmv




im scratching my head a bit too - how does the feeling of being inspired by someone to express themselves in the fullest possible way detract from their submission or dominance.

for that inspiration (or whatever word you prefer) to happen they have to trust, respect, admire, wish to be all that they can be for themselves as well as their Ds or Ms partner. whether that be for a few hours in a club or a lifetime.

youre christianity is inspired by love, faith, spiritual/community need - nothing wrong with that and that inspiriation, spiritual, emotional, physical faith is absolute.

i'm really not talking about a relationship that two agree on and they BOTH want and embrace their roles. i am talking about someone who will not "submit" until A, B, or C is done..... (man i wished i had finished school! i would be able to better communicate i think)



Mercnbeth -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:01:12 AM)

quote:

i am talking about someone who will not "submit" until A, B, or C is done..... (man i wished i had finished school!


Conditional submission, for "only" one reason, "inspiration" or until a set of conditions; "A, B, or C is done...." is still conditional submission. The person setting the conditions controls and/or dominates the resulting relationship.

The other choice is that through some process of internal rationalization they use conditional submission as an excuse to enjoy sensations their upbringing, philosophical/religious, indoctrination wouldn't let them any other way. Their guilt for enjoying a socal 'taboo' experience requires some trigger or "inspiration" of equal weight to balance out the guilt.

Whatever - find a compatible partner and enjoy - for whatever reason.



breatheasone -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:05:06 AM)

i'm seriously sorry you feel like you have to explain my posts....i wish i could express myself better in writing. Thank you though.



sunshinemiss -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:09:33 AM)

Whatever - find a compatible partner and enjoy - for whatever reason.


I think this says it.  My compatible partner will make me want to be a better woman than I am.  That is what inspiration is.  To me.



breatheasone -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:11:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Whatever - find a compatible partner and enjoy - for whatever reason.


I think this says it.  My compatible partner will make me want to be a better woman than I am.  That is what inspiration is.  To me.

Yes, i 200% agree with this.



UniqueRaven -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:12:36 AM)

It's funny, i just had this conversation with someone from the Dom side of the dynamic.

i can't inspire Dominance.  i don't want that type of responsibility.  i can't have that type of responsibility, as a slave, to inspire anyone's Dominance, especially my Master/Owner.  If that is a requirement of me, i spin and cannot be in a peaceful place of simply serving.

i can submit to anyone.  Anytime, anywhere.  It is a simple act, and i don't need to be inspired to do so.  There is no inspirational component tied to that act - i don't attach any particular value to the act of submitting, as it simply is what i am.  And if whoever i am submitting to chooses to use me or not, that is completely up to him.  But i don't worry if i'm inspiring him or not - that's his choice. 

Also, i may choose to not submit to someone out of concerns for my personal safety, physical and emotional well-being, etc., but that doesn't mean i couldn't submit to him if i chose to...and it's by choice, not by inspiration. 

For me the decision lies in which Master/Owner to serve and love - and be owned by - which is situational (it's also the last decision i make, btw).   It isn't dependent upon the inspiration i bring to the relationship.  And i am going to choose to serve and love a Master/Owner who chooses to Dominate and own me because it comes from a need and a place to do so inside of him - not because i inspire him to do so.  i happen to be the right fit for his need, and he for mine....and isn't that the wonderful thing?  And then my submission will ultimately also contain love, worship, adoration, all the yummy emotional rewards of serving him...which is absolutely the best.

For my dynamic, placing the need to inspire each other for Dominance and submission upon our individual shoulders ultimately builds a failure point into the relationship that simply cannot be there.

This is me, others are different and just as valid, and isn't that what makes discussion fun?  [:)]

julie



Acer49 -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 10:24:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

ooh, its gone pink, the board, lol, not my bum - anyway...,

prompted by a cmail from a guy who said that submission can only come through being freely given i responded by agreeing but added that also submission needs to be drawn out of the submissive.

for it to be freely given it needs first to be inspired.

but which does come first.

of course there will always be those situations where two people meet and the dynamic is right there, palpable and strong. but for some theres a process that has to slowly unfurl.

the idea that a submissive should be instant in her acquiescence is by and large a fallacy and by the same token, the instant Dom is generally hooted at for being after quick gratification and then onwards and upwards to the next.

many have described it as a dance. of the two symbiotic polarities coming together. but again im wondering, which comes first the inspiration and then the submission or the submission which then inspires.

each and everyone is different here and i was just curious if some might like to share how that fusing came about for you.


I believe that submissives have the ability to submit, but they need something to make them want to submit to the prospective Dom, be it chemistry, movations, inspiration, show of dominance, whatever.



Bluekitty -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 11:21:33 AM)

I agree with you completely, I tend to be very wary and only submit when all the boxes are ticked for both of us. I prefer to be reserved and careful and try not to give out the wrong signals until I'm pretty certain that what I'm doing is a good idea.



catize -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 11:52:06 AM)

quote:

The person setting the conditions controls and/or dominates the resulting relationship.

How does conditional submission translate to dominance in the resulting relationship?
I am not at all clear how carefully choosing to whom I submit makes it impossible to give up the authority once the relationship has been established. Or am I missing your point?

I can't submit to someone who is submissive; it is a requirement (condition) that I submit to a person who is dominant.

I can't submit to someone I loathe, it is a requirement that I like who they are.

quote:

The other choice is that through some process of internal rationalization they use conditional submission as an excuse to enjoy sensations their upbringing, philosophical/religious, indoctrination wouldn't let them any other way. Their guilt for enjoying a socal 'taboo' experience requires some trigger or "inspiration" of equal weight to balance out the guilt.


I can bottom to a top, but even if they label themselves dominant, I cannot submit to them.

quote:

Whatever - find a compatible partner and enjoy - for whatever reason.

This part I agree with!



Mercnbeth -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 1:38:07 PM)

quote:

How does conditional submission translate to dominance in the resulting relationship?
How doesn't it? What happens when or if whatever the condition that enables it, ends? The more physical, looks, weight, hair color, the more vulnerable; but inspirational dominance or submission based on sexual proclivities, or even personality risks being lost over time as well.

Whoever is setting the condition must be prepared to transition and develop another source of inspiration from the same person. Its my perspective that whoever qualifies whatever side of the flogger by a condition holds the dominance. Were it not the case, it wasn't a condition or inspiration in the first place.

A dominant who has a choice of accepting conditions is submitting to them.

A submissive who sets the parameters of their inspiration to submit is dominating the conditions determining her submission.

I've never taken a person's label to indicate anything more than what kind of sensations they prefer. When terms are set, the reality of their inclination, sexual, or interpersonal, defines them.



DesFIP -> RE: inspired submission (11/28/2009 1:42:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

quote:

there will always be those situations where two people meet


Submission isn't a dance, a polarity, a gift (that's so much bull) - submission is a need a submissive has. Any sub who adds "dynamics" to her need is topping from the bottom, a.k.a. a manipulator. Simple rules work a lot better than shades of grey.



BS

I presume you are speaking from your own personal knowledge as a submissive? Yeah, didn't think so.

Submission needs to be fed by active dominance. Otherwise we feel taken for granted, we resent you and we will warn everyone we know about you being an emotional vampire. This is a two way street.

Of course you can continue to pretend otherwise and that we're all of us bad submissives who aren't interested in sitting in a corner until called to give a blow job. If that's what you prefer to a relationship with a human being, go for it. Keep waiting, forever.



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