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Aunt Karen - 3/13/2006 7:46:38 PM

DameDarkness

Posts: 341
Joined: 10/1/2004
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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment... Get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front
seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a mess."

"What's the moral of the story?" asked! the teacher.

"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to
share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to ba! il out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.
She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"

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Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: Aunt Karen - 3/13/2006 7:59:25 PM

angelic

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Joined: 1/24/2005
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ROFLMAO...

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~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

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RE: Aunt Karen - 3/13/2006 8:15:10 PM

truesub4u

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Joined: 11/17/2005
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ROFLMAO.......

I can honestly relate to this... my sister's name is Karen.. and i've told my kids before.. stay the fuck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking.......... ROFLMAO STILL!!!!!!!!!!!

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Aunt Karen - 3/13/2006 8:43:17 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Joined: 11/20/2004
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When my step grandma who was whacked in head anyway drank she became violent. One time she came out to the dome house where I was staying as a kid an told me that I was her daughter dad cheated on her with shirley* my mom* and she was never going to give me back to my dad, she litterally held me hostage, my dad had to go in there pick me up and forcefully remove me. She would drink like whole huge glasses of whiskey strait. and then scream at grandpa We had to go to the back room and close the door for our saftey.

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