lucylucy
Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline
|
I think version 2 is better. Some thoughts:
Paragraph 1: “What it takes to be a perfect slave/sub is different for all so I am looking for someone who has there own views of what it takes to be ‘perfect’”—I’m not sure what you mean by this. Why not just come out and say what the qualities are that you find attractive in a slave/sub?
Paragraph 2: I would divide this into two paragraphs, one with the non-bdsm stuff and one with the bdsm stuff. I would recommend that instead of giving the statistics on your relationships, you describe your style as a Master. You mention that bondage play and role play are important to you—great. What else is important to you? Also, you say “I don’t believe that the most important aspect of a relationship is the sex,” but you never do say what IS the most important aspect to you.
Instead of a sentence like “So all I ask is that you are confident in yourself and your limits and enjoy the lifestyle,” try describing how a slave with confidence and enjoyment of the lifestyle behaves. How can you tell she enjoys the lifestyle? Once you can articulate that, put get rid of the sentence that’s there and put in the description of the behaviors or attitudes you find attractive.
Hope this helps.
_____________________________
“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi
|
RE: Help me please - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread