Trouble Classifying myself (Full Version)

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BeowulfKaine -> Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 9:45:59 AM)

I'm having a bit of trouble classifying myself as to what I am, I know that I am the Dominant, but My wife and I are equals in our relationship, however she doesn't partake in any of the BDSM that I do. She's obviously aware that I am looking for a slave but says she probably won't have much to do with the day to day, so then, what exactly does that make us as a couple dynamic wise? Male Dom Couple? Dom Men? Poly Couple? I'm kinda confused now!



theRose4U -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 10:00:03 AM)

It makes you complicated.
If I'm reading this correctly you're looking for a slave (harder to find than sub), that's presumably single when you're married to a non-kinky wife that's your equal in a rather religous and conservative part of the country.

Easy box to check would be male dom couple then explain. Catch is a non-kinky wife likely will become territorial once a real live person is included in this idea you say you've discussed with her. Equal with the slave in that framework won't fly allowing you to check the triangle poly box.

Kind answer is you have your work cut out for you and a long journey ahead, be patient!



DarkSteven -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 10:13:00 AM)

You can't really know.  Your wife says right now that she won;t be involved much, but that could change.  When and if it does, there's no telling what role she'll take.



AnimusRex -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 10:32:45 AM)

Co-Dominant Low Protocol Poly/Open Trainer TPE/Ms/ MG with UVW LfP *

Yes. That is the precise category you fit into.

You are welcome.

Signed,
The Sorting Hat.


*Married Guy with Understanding Vanilla Wife Looking for Playmate






Ok, Ok, I am a bit snarky. In all seriousness, you don't need a classification or a bunch of acronyms to describe you. You are a Dominant guy looking for a submissive. You just happen to have a complicated situation, thats all.
Which, in fact, most people do.



Level -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 11:26:39 AM)

Rex is right. You can be a dominant, and married, without your wife being a submissive, or switch, or dominant. It's obvious that you saw something in one another, in order to get married, but it just wasn't the kink.



Acer49 -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 2:28:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeowulfKaine

I'm having a bit of trouble classifying myself as to what I am, I know that I am the Dominant, but My wife and I are equals in our relationship, however she doesn't partake in any of the BDSM that I do. She's obviously aware that I am looking for a slave but says she probably won't have much to do with the day to day, so then, what exactly does that make us as a couple dynamic wise? Male Dom Couple? Dom Men? Poly Couple? I'm kinda confused now!


And this matters why? Just live your life and worry about the important stuff, not the trivial



DesFIP -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 5:20:27 PM)

You're dominant in a relationship with a vanilla. Although your wife accepts you having a sub on the side, the sub will be less important to you than your wife and must be willing to accept being cancelled at the last minute if your family issues interfere. That's what you should tell a prospective.



breatheasone -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/29/2009 10:12:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're dominant in a relationship with a vanilla. Although your wife accepts you having a sub on the side, the sub will be less important to you than your wife and must be willing to accept being cancelled at the last minute if your family issues interfere. That's what you should tell a prospective.

This is rather cut and dry, but there are woman out there that are looking for good consistent play partners. So OP be patient, and willing to compromise some yourself.



aldompdx -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/30/2009 12:55:09 AM)

You are your avatar. What is that?
As Plato quoted Socrates, "First know thyself."
Every person is unique, and thus, their own category.



Fitznicely -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/30/2009 2:41:11 AM)

Does it really matter what label you choose?

All the energy you're wasting worrying about what box to tick on a web form could be redirected into educating yourself and your wife into the fact that you can be dom and she can be sub without compromising the equality you already have.

That'd be easier than moving a slave/toy/pet into the house, I'm thinking.



LadyPact -> RE: Trouble Classifying myself (11/30/2009 2:16:25 PM)

Good Afternoon OP,

If I'm reading this correctly, I'm basically the female version of you.  I tend to call Myself a sadistic poly Dominant who is married.  (Yes, I really do introduce Myself that way when I'm meeting new groups.)  My other half at various times been disinterested in kink, a top, wanted to be a Dominant, and some other variations since we've been together.  My husband, who is of course a part of the poly family, does not get involved in the authority structured dynamic that I have with My own boy.

Can you do it?  Yes.  However, I can promise you that you will have some work ahead of you and a lot of communication that is necessary for everyone involved.

Good Luck.


LP



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