Diplomatic Room Assignments (Full Version)

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lovingpet -> Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:11:01 PM)

As some may know and others not so much, I am getting ready for a big move this spring. My family (myself, hubby, and two saplings) and my partner will be coming together under the same roof. That sounds super!!!! Yay!!!!! Then all of a sudden there's this perplexing question. Who gets the big bedroom? Well that's just great!

Of course hubby swoops in. We're the married ones so we should have the main bedroom. He was here first after all (like it was planting his flag on the moon or something). I don't want to marginalize him and as innane as it sounds he has a point.

Then there is my partner pointing that it is the "Master" bedroom after all! LOL. Granted he's joking, but given privacy issues with the saplings about and just having adequate space for playtime, he might have a point.

Guys, it's a lose/lose proposition for me. How would you sort this out? Remember, I am not asking for opinions on marriage, monogamy, etc. I just want to know practically and logistically what people think. Thanks!

lovingpet



LaTigresse -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:12:16 PM)

I would tell them to work it out and you will comply with whatever they decide.



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:14:20 PM)

Hehe!!! That seems wise and yet oh so sadistic! It's perfect! LOL




LadyPact -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:16:49 PM)

I'd sort it out differently because, I'm the Dominant.  LOL.

Since you can't use that one, I'll just add My two cents.  My situation is different than yours, but I hope it helps anyway.

It would (and will..... watch for updates [:)]) be MP and I sharing the master bedroom.  We've always had that agreement since we started doing this poly thing and it's most likely not going to change now.  While many all keep the same bedroom, not everyone is comfortable with that if little people are in the house.

I'd suggest the three of you sit down and talk about it.  That means, not each of them talking to you, but all of you at the same time.  If you're all going to live together, figuring out where everyone sleeps is one of those hundreds of details that need to be worked out.



Lucylastic -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:20:35 PM)

Personally I would want the big room and invite the others in on a schedule...butttttt then Im not in the same position as you:)
LOL I just read Lady Ps response:)
good luck Loving:)



Aileen1968 -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:22:59 PM)

Draw straws. Flip a coin. Pick an impartial way and leave it to chance.



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 2:27:40 PM)

Yeah...My position is sticky for sure. I don't like being in the room negotiations, but I guess it is almost inevitable. I get the big room regardless just because of having enough space for everything. There wouldn't be space for the other person's stuff and mine too in the smaller rooms. It isn't like a nasty conflict, but man I hate conflict. Bleeechhh!!!



windchymes -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:23:23 PM)

Why not just set each one of them up in their own bedroom and you go back and forth each night?   Kinda like they do on "Big Love" on HBO. 



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:25:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Why not just set each one of them up in their own bedroom and you go back and forth each night?   Kinda like they do on "Big Love" on HBO. 


That's more or less the plan. the sticking point is who gets the big bedroom with the private bathroom and walk in closet. LOL




mnottertail -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:26:39 PM)

texas chainsaw massacre the intervening walls.

TCMaster



windchymes -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:27:39 PM)

Good point.  I have a better idea.  YOU get that suite, and THEY take turns visiting! [:)]



Hierodule -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:33:29 PM)

I sort of feel like the married couple should share the "master" bedroom but I don't know whats best for your family. I don't know how your relationships work so its not my place.

I think letting them get together to work it out, and accepting whatever they agree on, as mentioned above, is a good bet. On a side note, congratulations on the new living arrangement! 



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:34:15 PM)

I would totally LOVE to be able to rip down a wall or two, but alas it will be rental property for now!

As for having them come to ME, well, I think I would wind up with two men in my bed every night and one empty room! LOL And I know hubby is not at all interested in having to sleep in the same bed as my partner if I am contagiously ill. Though I am sadisitc enough to enjoy his misery LOL! I guess it could be like dorm days (not that I know a thing about this) with tying a scarf to the doorknob when the room is otherwise...errrr... occupied! LOL

I laugh a lot when I'm nervous. Can anyone tell?




lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:35:54 PM)

Thanks sweetie! It has it's challenges, but I am very excited and looking forward to it all!




windchymes -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:38:14 PM)

You need to watch "Big Love", lp, lol.  Each guy has his "assigned" nights and you do not deviate from the schedule unless previously arranged! 

One point though....if you're renting, a lot of properties now have two master suites available, since, with our economy and/or the high cost of living in many areas, they are designed for "roommates" sharing the kitchen and living room, but having their own closet & bath.  Perhaps you can find one of those!



DomImus -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:39:20 PM)

I think hubby trumps master. I vote for hubby on this one.



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:41:41 PM)

Great idea! We might have to expand our search!

It would be interesting though to see what these two can agree upon. It will at least give a preview of things to come. sighs This is worse than the household funding discussion. Sheesh!



lovingpet -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:42:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

I think hubby trumps master. I vote for hubby on this one.


I know hubby surely agrees with you.



DomImus -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 3:56:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus
I think hubby trumps master. I vote for hubby on this one.


I know hubby surely agrees with you.


In all honesty I think you are the one who should decide this or at least you should have significant input in the decision. I know that flies in the face of the whole 'submissive' thing but I don't think being submissive eliminates responsibility for having and setting priorities and that's what this issue is all about. I liked LP's answer. I guess there are as many ways to do a poly household as there are poly households just as there are as many ways to do marriage as there are married couples. I can't get out of the whole 'primary-secondary' mindset form my poly days although I realize many do not follow that model.

Good luck.




littlewonder -> RE: Diplomatic Room Assignments (12/1/2009 4:22:49 PM)

If hubby agrees that his decisions should come first imo this is a nobrainer..he's the one that you are legally bound to and I would hope spiritually as well since it is a marriage. You have more to lose in a marriage than the M/s.




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