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RoamingCaptive -> RE: Having a say (12/4/2009 4:07:25 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive
You have the right to have a say, even if it is calling people wannabess, or not a real truism slave, dom..etc. This is your right. But, if you thought for a minute and realize some people come here to learn more then to use the other side of Cm,, what would having a say mean to you then? Would you try to have a say that is more educational and helping people to learn, or would having a say stay the same to you? There is no right or wrong answer here, because it is your right to having a say that matters. Just curious from this perspective, would people change what they would bring to CM as an original post?
wisdomtogive
aka/ oceanwynds
I think this is an excellent point to bring up, and a very welcome reminder to us all. I would hope that most will answer that their posts here are well thought through, true to who they are and offered with the intent to communicate and exchange views, rather than segregate and attack. Yet, I am sure everyone fall beneath their own standards at times. I know I do. Frequenting a place like CM whether for the boards or the purpose of finding relations with others it is so easy to get wrapped up in one's own wants and needs and forget that we're really not all that different. Almost inevitably - perhaps because of the volume of people, information and interaction going on here - everyone seeks to establish a recognisable identity.... and to further strengthen that by interacting with those of similar minds and interests. We group together or set apart. It's natural human behavior.
I don't really care why people come here, why they seek or for what.... like with the right to have a say, we all have the right to come here for our own reasons. And yet so often it ends in condemnation and flaming. In fact, profiles and journals are filled with how it isn't tolerated. For me personally, it's a huge turn-off when I try to learn about a person by reading their profile and find most of my time there spent reading about how ignorant and unwelcome others are in their views. It puts me off engaging with them at all, because I feel that if I don't happen to live up to their views and ideas about how things should be, then I too will in no time be labelled that way. And this in a community that prides itself on tolerance and openmindedness.
Like Wisdomtogive says, having a say isn't necessarily just about the right to voice an opinion, for me. It is also about taking responsibility for the kind of atmosphere created here. People here are jaded and aggressive for a reason. It doesn't matter who did what to whom. We're all part of resolving it. No matter how different we may seem to one another, no matter how different our needs, wants and ways may appear... we all come here seeking something. We all have hopes and dreams - and perhaps too a wish to belong. Why taint that by setting us at odds with one another simply because we have different preferences? Rashly putting others down in public says more about who we are than it does about them.
Having a say means having the ability to create change. To make a difference. So many people here - some of whose views and lives have been as far from my own as I could possibly imagine - have been kind and open and willing to share themselves with me... if I share nothing else with them in terms of preferences and ways... let this at least be one.
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