RE: "submissive" behavior in children

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lucylucy -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/10/2009 8:57:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I was also one of the people trying to figure out how "handcuffs" = "submissive". [sm=dunno.gif] Cali Yeah, I'm the OP, and now, a few days later, I'm not sure how/why I made that connection. Hmmm.

kanina -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 4:42:14 AM)
i'm submissive, masochist and like bondage [:)] and the only episode i can remenber was when someone bought a set of police toy, had plastic handcuffs [;)] and remenber that one time my brother cuffed me and with a scarff he blindfold me, he was the police i was the thief [:D] but that was it, the rest i only can remenber my prweference for movies were someone was suffering or tied up[:D]

rockspider -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 9:32:42 AM)
Kids will play with anything they get hands on. Many times also see things and make them up themself. That this on ocasion becomes stuff used in BDSM is more coincidence than actual signs of a particular behaviour. It is when something begins to establish a pattern that you need to asses what it is and act accordingly. It really is the old story of keeping your finger in the pie to be a good parent.

blackpearl81 -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 10:50:06 AM)
Not really sure if this qualifies, but.... When I was in high school, I was crushing really hard on a friend. We hung out, etc, and one night I was hanging out at her house. For some reason we started play wrestling, and she ended up on top with my hands pinned to the floor. We recently ran into each other on Myspace, and started talking again. She brought that up a few weeks back, and mentioned that I had a look in my eyes that gave her the chills.[:)]

lucylucy -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 11:22:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I was also one of the people trying to figure out how "handcuffs" = "submissive". [sm=dunno.gif] Cali Yeah, I'm the OP, and now, a few days later, I'm not sure how/why I made that connection. Hmmm. OK, I got my original train of thought back and can explain the connection. For me, handcuffs represent giving up control completely and letting someone else have it . . . which to me, is what submissive behavior is all about. So there's the connection. Does that make sense?

sexyred1 -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 11:34:32 AM)
As early as 5 years old, I remember playing cowboys and Indians, doctor/patient, pirates/ladies, etc. and I always manipulated it so that I was the one tied up, examined, etc. I had NO clue why this felt good, only that it did. I even remember Bugs Bunny cartoons and when he tied someone up and boiled them in water, I thought that was interesting. (exclaimer: I have no interest in being boiled in water, just an illustration of the discusson at hand), I had a normal childhood, great family, etc. Was this behavior submissive? Or just a precursor to what I finally discovered in puberty and after reading..that what I felt was intricately connected to my sexuality. I firmly believe that you discover your sexuality when you are a child; not that you practice it, but the seeds are there to create the adult you become.

lovingpet -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/11/2009 12:48:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider Kids will play with anything they get hands on. Many times also see things and make them up themself. That this on ocasion becomes stuff used in BDSM is more coincidence than actual signs of a particular behaviour. It is when something begins to establish a pattern that you need to asses what it is and act accordingly. It really is the old story of keeping your finger in the pie to be a good parent. This is absolutely true! I would say most kids play with things that could bend in any number of kinky directions, but usually amounts to nothing at all. It is the pattern I look for and have observed at least with one of my children. It is actually a little harder to look back on my own childhood for such patterns and even harder to determine how I was feeling about those things at the time or if it was just some fun games we played. lovingpet

akirauke -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/18/2009 9:37:21 PM)
I loved being led about on a leash and I chased after tennis balls and I loved playing puppies and kitties and acting like animals... Guess what? I love puppyplay! I loved being tid up - Guess what? I love bondage! I didn't mind having my bum smacked when I was a kid - Pain slut! I hated displeasing and being punished - aim to please - what am I? A slavegirl Here's the kicker My parents werent into BDSM or anything! utter Vanilla's! Hahahaha!

allthatjaz -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/19/2009 5:14:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akirauke I loved being led about on a leash and I chased after tennis balls and I loved playing puppies and kitties and acting like animals... Guess what? I love puppyplay! I loved being tid up - Guess what? I love bondage! I didn't mind having my bum smacked when I was a kid - Pain slut! I hated displeasing and being punished - aim to please - what am I? A slavegirl Here's the kicker My parents werent into BDSM or anything! utter Vanilla's! Hahahaha! My eldest son did all the things you did but he's not submissive or dominant or switch. I think advertizing that you liked having your bum smacked as a kid is bad form. What are you trying to say here? All of what you did as a kid is not relevant to an adult site.

lally2 -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/19/2009 5:23:39 AM)
i think i was about 7 when stuff started to seem appealing to me. but i also started writing stories then, riding ponies and pretending to be a fairy princess, getting independent and thinking i was a mermaid when we went to the beach.

daddysliloneds -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/19/2009 8:06:12 AM)
people try so hard to use psychological mumbo-jumbo and other things to define why they are the way they are as adults; face it, it's a load of crap! i could rationalize till the cows come home why i should be a professional victim and how fucked up i should be because of things that happened in my life while as a child, but guess what? i'm not a professional victim and i'm not fucked up because as adults we make the choice to be whatever it is that we are... and while as a child i loved to be tied, cuffed, etc., it has nothing to do with me being submissive; i could very easily be a dominant and am in my daily life, but when it comes to really letting go, and being exactly who i am, i choose to be submissive.

osf -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/19/2009 8:23:35 AM)
ive always thought our sexuality was hardwired into us and cant be changed, ie there is no cure for being a pervert short of a frontal lobotomy

yellowroses -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/19/2009 2:31:24 PM)
Interesting question- I am a submissive. My daughter is definately not showing signs in that direction. She is going quite the opposite direction. No, she isn't handcuffing anybody else or anything. At least not that I know of but I think that she will be the dominant one in her future relationships. GREAT topic for discussion. Thank you! kim

slavekal -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/20/2009 4:57:59 PM)
I am pretty sure my little niece is a born sadistic domme. I am going to have to keep my eye on that one.

MMagic -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 3:54:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lucylucy A few weeks ago, my 7-year old daughter gleefully told me about a boy on the bus putting her in handcuffs and how much fun it was. Today, I went into her room and she looked like she was hiding something behind her back and she had a sly grin on her face; when I made her turn around, I saw that she had made little handcuffs out of ribbon and had them around her wrists. I just smiled and left her alone. When I was her age, I was always coming up with games to play with my friends that would involve me being tied up. Did you exhibit what you now see as “submissive” behavior as a child? If you have kids, do you see them doing it? Do you see any danger in allowing kids to play like this? Yes I do notice my daughter doing this!!! And I've been scared to death to say it to anyone! Her father just looks at me and said is submissive behavior hereditary, if it is then you passed it to her. Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL! Edited to add that this is one of my fetishes, the spanking and I like it for the reasons she said she likes it..hence my husband saying is this hereditary? I think the shock for all of us here is that we all associate BDSM , even though we're a part of it, as being different from the norm. This proves my theory that kink is just another norm, we are not special and unique snowflakes here. So we're taken aback when children exhibit these traits. I can't say I know what to do with my little one but I tried very hard to not react in either fashion good or bad, just tickled her and changed the subject. I figure I got about 2 more years before that tactic stops working. Hopefully by then I'll have learned a way to deal with this topic in reference to her. I think that children should be taught about sex at a young age but be given only the basics, the rest perhaps should be saved for times when they are older. So we have LESS folks thinking they have to hide in the closet for being into Kink, or gay or being in love with inanimate objects. Ah the future...can't wait to see.

Mercnbeth -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 4:04:09 PM)
quote: ...Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL!... um...use another form of punishment, perhaps?

MMagic -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 4:12:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...Mine loves to be spanked and says to me the other day to spank her because it feels good. I didn't know what to say or do. How do you handle this?!! LOL!... um...use another form of punishment, perhaps? LOL she doesn't get spankings often, she's very cerebral, like me so I tend to go that route when punishing her. Means I have to get REAL creative but it works. That is why the spanking thing took me aback and the obvious reasons of course.

Mercnbeth -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 4:25:23 PM)
quote: Edited to add that this is one of my fetishes, the spanking and I like it for the reasons she said she likes it..hence my husband saying is this hereditary? this slave doesn't equate receiving pleasurable sensations from something that for most others is painful as submission. masochism, perhaps, but submission, not so much. it can be extremely confusing and difficult to rationalize one's masochism at an early age.

trueshadow -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 4:31:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Everytime I see these types of discussions I think I'm the only one who has never once had such fantasies or inclinations as a kid. I distinctly remember wanting for some strange reason to kneel before a girl and offer to be hers. I was about seven. It's only grown from there.

slutslave4u -> RE: "submissive" behavior in children (12/21/2009 4:38:20 PM)
As a child yes, with 4 boys all very close in age and 1 sister much younger, not to mention all the neighborhood kids (boys/girls) as well....of course we played cowboys/indians all the time, doctor/nurse, good guy/bad guy.....we had built a neighborhood "fort" so to speak in the woods for some privacy even from adults. I always was a bad guy, always was getting tied up, always the indian, always the patient. those of us that were tied up, were always tied up nude no matter what games we were playing.....playing doctor/nurse as a patient was laying on a bench, nude, all tied up, best looking girl in neighborhood "examining" me while all the others looked on. the examination consisted of a very large amount of what we now know as CBT.....and I loved every minute of it even with the audience of the other neighbor kids and brothers.

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