RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under consideration??"

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under consideration??"

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RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 4:09:31 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium
I guess I fall into that camp of "gift of submission" because it took a very special man to collar me and I knew I deserved it.

If "under consideration" is the problem then the "gift of submission" is not the answer. What a load of crap. My "gift of submission". Where's Barbara Cartland when you need her?

_____________________________

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(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

Post #: 21

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 4:31:57 PM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium
I guess I fall into that camp of "gift of submission" because it took a very special man to collar me and I knew I deserved it.

If "under consideration" is the problem then the "gift of submission" is not the answer. What a load of crap. My "gift of submission". Where's Barbara Cartland when you need her?

A dom wouldn't understand submission from a subs perspective.

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 22

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 4:46:27 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"under consideration"

Whether we explicitly use the term or not, when we are dating someone, they are always under consideration until we decide we want more. And I think that is a healthy thing. I think that this is when we take the time to reflect if this is the right person for us.

Now telling someone that they are under consideration can be humiliating, and if they are into that, then it can be hot. I know some boys who got off on the this little game, wanting to prove their worthiness.

I know some other boys who would be hurt or angered by being treated in such a way. Though they were under consideration by me, I didn't outright tell them. We called it "seeing each other". How novel!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

Post #: 23

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 4:51:23 PM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

No way in hell would I ever be deemed "under consideration". I am not a new car, or a job offer. How much can I get you to show me on your web cam and how much fucking phone sex can I get is what that term says to me

Thanks Darling, and I am loving the new picture!

this is a really good point..some doink always TWISTS shit for their own agenda..
I agree with you totally..

GM

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As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

Post #: 24

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 5:13:04 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

You know... I vascillate with this term. I understand why people want to use it, and all, but frankly I have only one litty bitty thing about it. If I am considering an M type, does that make him under consideration too? If it doesn't, it should... And you know why? Because I'm still in the decision making stage...

Funny thing, I've never seen an M type have that on their profile.

I can say that, were I in a one-on-one situation of a romantic or sexual nature, and we were at that point, I'd have no issue putting such on my profile from a Keeper's standpoint... and if I did choose to do so, that -wouldn't- mean that the lover/companion in question would have to put it on theirs. In the same way, I wouldn't require someone else to label their profile that way, but if they chose to, that wouldn't necessarily compel me to do so, were I not inclined, on of my own accord, to do so.

Dame Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 25

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 5:32:29 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

Well, changing the words under consideration is easy enough to do.....i can say, not for you to consider me..move on:). I just find it a nice useful way of telling people to 'bug off'. With that said, i can play the delete button all i wish.

Considering a relationship is important for me. i am grateful for that time. it gives me time to say, nope not working for me. i not one to be searching if interested in someone..never been my style. :)..

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Happily owned by MstrDark1

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Post #: 26

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 5:36:00 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium
I guess I fall into that camp of "gift of submission" because it took a very special man to collar me and I knew I deserved it.

If "under consideration" is the problem then the "gift of submission" is not the answer. What a load of crap. My "gift of submission". Where's Barbara Cartland when you need her?

the term gift of submissive is not my cup of tea..but this is not the topic. As with honoring who i am and under consideration is just fine with me, i can honor anyone claiming the have to gift to give another. Heck i thinking in Jan. of wrapping myself with gold ribbon and blue bulbs on my tits, so i be all shiny and can then pass as a gift:)..nay..i just present a gift of me, but not my submission.

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Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to DomImus)

Post #: 27

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 5:43:38 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

On the web it just seems like people use it to try to take others off the market, while they themselves continue to shop around. Not cool.

If I had any use for it, my terminology would be "under mutual consideration". Because the evaluation process goes both ways.

Edited after reading the post above this: EXACTLY, oceanwynds- YOU are the gift! Submit is what you do.

You are the gift.

<Now back to your regularly scheduled topic.>

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 12/4/2009 5:49:28 PM >

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(in reply to HisSweetElysium)

Post #: 28

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 6:24:17 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

I don't what's wrong with "Currently dating someone."

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

Post #: 29

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 6:30:31 PM

Underumam

Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

On the web it just seems like people use it to try to take others off the market, while they themselves continue to shop around. Not cool.

If I had any use for it, my terminology would be "under mutual consideration". Because the evaluation process goes both ways.

Edited after reading the post above this: EXACTLY, oceanwynds- YOU are the gift! Submit is what you do.

You are the gift.

<Now back to your regularly scheduled topic.>

If only more thought as you..

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 30

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 7:04:01 PM

SirJ40

Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline

If you don't like scat.. don't play with shit. If you don't like blood, don't play with knives.. if you don't like the terminology.. don't use it.
I'm going to use it in spite of this ridiculous attitude.
I find it charming and appropriate that two people who are moving towards an intimate and lasting BDSM relationship should choose to give it dignity in the early stages by doing each other the favor of being (even temporarily) exclusive.. and let's not forget that it's the Old Guard who started the Collar of Consideration. It reminds Me of the engagement ring, or promise ring tradition.. or of Probationary membership in a group.. it's a stage, a step, a part of the process.

Sure.. online, Consideration, Protection, and even Collaring are pretty intangible, and often fleeting. That only invalidates the situations they were applied to.. the old theories and traditions remain valid. Just because some peanut head somewhere decides to mock the traditions by flinging "consideration" and "collars" all over the internet, and then taking them back a week later when xhe finds a new person to obsess over, does not mean xhe has redefined the terms.
If that were true.. then Collaring itself, which I for one take to be a solemn commitment, would be a total mockery by now.
In My life, these kinds of things hold meaning and value.
So really, don't try to tell Me that they're worthless.. if you think that....well, they're only worthless to you.

_____________________________

Make your own decisions, and own the decisions you make.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 31

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 7:43:58 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Re sunshine's question about why don't the doms put it on their profiles, again I think it goes back to the mail thing. They don't get mail from subs beating down their doors so they don't have to state it in a vain attempt to lessen the come ons.

But I have on occasion seen an M type state that their talking seriously to someone, and thus aren't available to talk to anyone else right now. And I think that's sweet.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to SirJ40)

Post #: 32

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 8:00:46 PM

Thatbastard

Posts: 25
Joined: 11/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88

No way in hell would I ever be deemed "under consideration". I am not a new car, or a job offer. How much can I get you to show me on your web cam and how much fucking phone sex can I get is what that term says to me. I am sure for some it is probably a bit more authentic than that, but when I was new and naive I heard that term dangled in front of me like a carrot by way to many "Doms." Yeah...no.

Thank you! That was my impression too, but it's helpful from your angle. It seemed like demanding commitment without giving it. And I always seem to see the new folks going with it. But I try not to make a habit of bashing other dominants in absence of specific facts.

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 33

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 8:00:47 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

On the web it just seems like people use it to try to take others off the market, while they themselves continue to shop around. Not cool.

If I had any use for it, my terminology would be "under mutual consideration". Because the evaluation process goes both ways.

Edited after reading the post above this: EXACTLY, oceanwynds- YOU are the gift! Submit is what you do.

You are the gift.

<Now back to your regularly scheduled topic.>

awwwwwwwwwwwww, thank you..:) thank you very much..now going to look through my boxes of ribbons:). Thanks dreaming...
oceanwynd:)

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 34

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 8:16:32 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

I don't what's wrong with "Currently dating someone."

DING DING DING!!!
We have a winner!

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to AnimusRex)

Post #: 35

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 8:21:30 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

I don't what's wrong with "Currently dating someone."

DING DING DING!!!
We have a winner!

I actually posted that 6 posts earlier.

I also added that "under consideration" could be used for humiliation game.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 36

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 8:30:25 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

under consideration...ie.....dating

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

Post #: 37

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 9:27:11 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I've seen the term explained in this post in very good ways. The problem I have (which someone else also mentioned) is that too often, some domly dom says he wants some sub to put "under consideration" on their profile as a means of keeping others away. Kind of like a wolf pissing on a tree to mark it's territory. To me both parties when seriously discussing moving forward are under consideration. Why not use the statement that DesFIP used, "state that their talking seriously to someone, and thus aren't available to talk to anyone else right now." That seems to work for both sides. Of course that's for those talking about one on one relationships, not situations that Dame Calla is describing.

I guess for me that term "under consideration" goes along with those profiles that state "accepting applications" and "tell me why I should want you." Very one sides as though the dom in question is the be all, end all and seems to think that everyone wants them and the sub should be lucky to be put under consideration by said dom. Regardless of who is going to eventually be "in charge," each needs to be "worthy" of the other. For those reasons, whenever I see that phrase, it just raises a red flag for me.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 38

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/4/2009 11:30:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
Funny thing, I've never seen an M type have that on their profile.

Actually, I've had it on My profile.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 39

RE: So unsublike, I have to post it here --"under ... - 12/5/2009 7:26:23 AM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

for some its like having a engagement ring to show otheres that your off the market so to speak. for some it dosent deter them at all. if it dosent suit you to use it then dont. i was under consideration of my Mistress for a while and i liked having it there to show how proud i was to possibly be Hers.

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LadyPact

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Post #: 40

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