RE: A set of rules...

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persephonee -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 10:04:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix quote: ORIGINAL: persephonee In a 24/7 situation, by which i mean, living together primarily....Rules 1 and 2 are going to have to go out the window. Other than that, theres nothing listed that would be particularly objectionable or hard to follow. There's nothing wrong with rule number 3? What if the house is on fire? Is he just supposed to burn if he can't reach the OP to let her know that he's leaving the house? And all women are goddesses and will be treated accordingly? What if a woman is attempting to steal his wallet? I'm sure the OP would say, "Oh, I didn't mean it under those circumstances," but that is exactly what is wrong with these rules in the first place: they just aren't practical. she asked for feedback, i made a comment. Would i stay in a burning house because i couldnt ask permission to leave it?....nope. Would i allow someone to steal a wallet with my full knowledge of it?...nope. But then, im never going to win slave of the Year.[:D]

CaringandReal -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 10:21:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thaprincess Ok so I'm new to the scene, but I came up with a list of preliminary rules for my sub. I'm getting Miss Abernathy's Ominus tomorrow [:D] so after I read that I may revise them a little if I read something that catches my attention and/or I think will benefit my sub and I. Anyway, here are my 7 rules for him. We both want a 24/7 live in relationship sooner or later, so some of the rules reflect that aspect we wish to bring to our relationship in the future. Anyway, some feedback on whether or not you think they are good would be awesome. And thank you in advance. 1) Princess' word is law. There will be no back talk to her of any kind. 2) Whenever Princess enters the room you are to hit the floor on all fours, your head bowed low to the ground. You must not rise until you are given permission to do so. In public places you are to only kneel before her, keeping your head bowed low until she tells you to rise. You are also to be silent during this time unless she directly speaks to you. 3) You are not to leave the house without Princess knowing of your whereabouts. You are her slave and as such you will always check in with her before making any decisions on where you will go aside from ones that are work related. 4) You are not to call any other woman by the name of Mistress. You may use the titles of Miss or Ma'am, but never Mistress. You only have one Mistress and she is Princess [insert my name here]. 5) When speaking to your Mistress, you are to always to call her Princess unless told otherwise by her. 6) You are to show all women respect and treat them as the goddesses they are. 7) You are to never forget that serving your Mistress is a privilege and not a right. You are lucky to belong to her and even luckier to get the honour to serve her. Sub female checking in. Here's my feedback, FWIW. I think 7's a great rule. Gold, in fact. 6 would make some submissive women--like me for instance--feel pretty bad. Some guy once tried to "goddess" me in a takeout resturant line. He just liked my looks and so tried to objectify me, force me into his favorite sexual role. If I hadn't been under strict orders to bring home a meal for my master from that place, I would have run out of there horrified. Instead I just kept insisting over and over and over and over, in deep embarassment and discomfort, "I am not a goddess." "I am not a goddess." "I am not a goddess." Had I been willing to make a scene I would have fallen to my knees, kissed his shoes and said, "How may I serve you, Lord and Master?" just to get him to shut up. So be careful with this one. You stand a chance of making any sub women friends of yours think your boy is extremely rude for trying to force them into a role that they find alien and wrong. 4 and 5 - fine. You have every right to be called what you want and not to have him calling others who are not his mistress by that name. 3 needs a little mondification. Somebody already mentioned it, the "emergency clause." Most firm rules work well with such a clause, to cover extreme situations that you did not think of when you made the rule. 2. The private part is Ok. The silent part is ok, although it is an advanced rule for subs. There are many situations in which it's very humiliating or hard to remain silent. If your sub is new you might want to consider relaxing that one. People in this forum are in a "don't shock the vanillas" feeding frenzy at this time. Eventually they will calm it the f--k down...one hopes. But I do agree that having someone kneel in the wrong public situation could cause you and they trouble. Some busybody or some asinine bdsm'er on a "Protect the Vanillas At All Cost" vendetta could call the police. The rules about public display in most states are kind of vague but the social climate is unusually prudish and conservative at this time (the comments in this forum only mimick it)--you could get yourselves in trouble this way. I agree that there are other, more subtle ways he could acknowledge your presence in public. You could come up with some very clever ones, I bet. And vary them, when you got bored. :) Speaking from experience, when a sub does these subtle things in public, it can still feel to him or her like everybody is watching, everybody knows what he is doing--even though nobody does. So the effect is not lost. 1. Fine, though very tough for new submissives to do. Peon mentioned working up to these rules. This would be one you might want to put training wheels on. Usually a sub cannot peform this level of obedience right off the bat unless he's had extensive experience elsewhere with similar rules. He needs to really trust you. I'm sorry you got such a harsh reception. Threads like this can be quite useful if you plan to stay around long in the forum. They tell you exactly which posters to click the "Hide" icon on--and never click it off. :D PS: All of these rules are perfectly fine for online relating where annoying things like fires or vanillas don't happen as often. IMVU.com (a 3d chat site) has a thriving community of young (20s to 30s) mistresses and their subs, male and female. You might enjoy spending some time on there, if you don't already.

SaharahEve -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 11:34:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thaprincess Ok so I'm new to the scene, but I came up with a list of preliminary rules for my sub. I'm getting Miss Abernathy's Ominus tomorrow [:D] so after I read that I may revise them a little if I read something that catches my attention and/or I think will benefit my sub and I. Anyway, here are my 7 rules for him. We both want a 24/7 live in relationship sooner or later, so some of the rules reflect that aspect we wish to bring to our relationship in the future. Anyway, some feedback on whether or not you think they are good would be awesome. And thank you in advance. 1) Princess' word is law. There will be no back talk to her of any kind. 2) Whenever Princess enters the room you are to hit the floor on all fours, your head bowed low to the ground. You must not rise until you are given permission to do so. In public places you are to only kneel before her, keeping your head bowed low until she tells you to rise. You are also to be silent during this time unless she directly speaks to you. 3) You are not to leave the house without Princess knowing of your whereabouts. You are her slave and as such you will always check in with her before making any decisions on where you will go aside from ones that are work related. 4) You are not to call any other woman by the name of Mistress. You may use the titles of Miss or Ma'am, but never Mistress. You only have one Mistress and she is Princess [insert my name here]. 5) When speaking to your Mistress, you are to always to call her Princess unless told otherwise by her. 6) You are to show all women respect and treat them as the goddesses they are. 7) You are to never forget that serving your Mistress is a privilege and not a right. You are lucky to belong to her and even luckier to get the honour to serve her. I liked this post. I have very similar standards to rule #2, #6 and #7 in this video. I hope it may further inspire. It's so good to see Females expressing facets of their structure publicly in a forum, so others may be inspired. I think you've created a good framework so far. I particularly like how you see "Mistress" as a word not to be spoken frivolously.

sirsholly -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 11:53:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thaprincess 1) Princess' word is law. There will be no back talk to her of any kind. Limiting communication is never good. And the input of another is always valuable. 2) Whenever Princess enters the room you are to hit the floor on all fours, your head bowed low to the ground. You must not rise until you are given permission to do so. In public places you are to only kneel before her, keeping your head bowed low until she tells you to rise. You are also to be silent during this time unless she directly speaks to you. This would never fly with me...but whatever floats your boat. I would rethink the kneeling in public stuff though, as it is not fair to include bystanders in your kink. 3) You are not to leave the house without Princess knowing of your whereabouts. You are her slave and as such you will always check in with her before making any decisions on where you will go aside from ones that are work related. When in a relationship i see this as basic courtesy, having nothing to do with kink, 4) You are not to call any other woman by the name of Mistress. You may use the titles of Miss or Ma'am, but never Mistress. You only have one Mistress and she is Princess [insert my name here]. Cool 5) When speaking to your Mistress, you are to always to call her Princess unless told otherwise by her. Cool again 6) You are to show all women respect and treat them as the goddesses they are. Respect is earned. I think it is highly degrading to expect someone to be courteous at all times simply because of gender. If he is treated rudely, he should not be afraid to respond in an appropriate manner. 7) You are to never forget that serving your Mistress is a privilege and not a right. You are lucky to belong to her and even luckier to get the honour to serve her. And you are lucky he belongs to you...yadayada. It is a two way street.

Venatrix -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 1:15:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth quote: ...for once I am going to be exceedingly diplomatic... Feeling okay, Ven? I did say "for once." Being obnoxious is more fun, though, so I think I'll stick with that. To the OP: One of the things you didn't mention is how you will punish for infractions. For example, what if he forgets to call you Princess? What if he does it more than once? Do you want a relationship that's based on a punishment dynamic? Will it be physical punishment? Monetary punishment? Banishment from your presence? Taking away something pleasurable? If there are no consequences, what's the point to having rules? What if there's a genuine misunderstanding about interpreting a rule in a situation that you hadn't considered? Will he be punished if he made what he thought was a good decision, even if it turns out it is displeasing to you? It's one thing to impose rules for a kinky weekend, and quite another to make them work all day long, day in and day out. What starts as enjoyable d/s interaction can quickly become another series of tedious chores. If you do decide to go ahead with a list of rules, I'd give them a lot of thought, considering most if not all potential eventualities before you put your foot down about them.

PeonForHer -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 1:49:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix Being obnoxious is more fun, though, so I think I'll stick with that. The veneer's gossamer thin these days, V - the truth will out eventually. quote: To the OP: One of the things you didn't mention is how you will punish for infractions . . . . Good point, and if I may say so, put very sweetly. The OP doesn't come across to me as someone who's a 'natural punisher'.

thaprincess -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 6:49:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Venatrix To the OP: One of the things you didn't mention is how you will punish for infractions. For example, what if he forgets to call you Princess? What if he does it more than once? Do you want a relationship that's based on a punishment dynamic? Will it be physical punishment? Monetary punishment? Banishment from your presence? Taking away something pleasurable? If there are no consequences, what's the point to having rules? What if there's a genuine misunderstanding about interpreting a rule in a situation that you hadn't considered? Will he be punished if he made what he thought was a good decision, even if it turns out it is displeasing to you? First off, thanks for more feedback everyone. And Venatrix I'm glad you brought this up since I guess I wasn't very specific on everything. Like I said this is just a starting point, not the end all be all for what we want to build together in our relationship. As I said before though, we talk alot because I'm a big believer in lots of communication. He knows that if he's confused about something or unsure of something he can always come to me and ask me about it. If he feels the need to talk about it, then I'm always open to hearing what he has to say. Also I know people make mistakes, so I'm not the type to go off on someone because something isn't done the way I want it done the first time (although constant mistakes are another thing). With that said, I punish him according to the deed done. Also he has common sense, and I expect him to use it. As they say for every rule there are exceptions and if any situation were to possibly cause him bodily, mentally, or emotional harm, then I'd expect his common sense to override the above stated rules. But that's something we've also discussed. I do care about him and I don't want to see him get hurt.

thaprincess -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 6:51:16 PM)
I never tried IMVU.com, but my ex boyfriend and I did try Second Life. I was his slave on there for a bit but that didn't work out in the long run.

sunshinemiss -> RE: A set of rules... (12/5/2009 8:36:06 PM)
I think she's gonna trip over him at some point.

PeonForHer -> RE: A set of rules... (12/6/2009 4:02:46 AM)
Unimportant note, re: 5) When speaking to your Mistress, you are to always to call her Princess unless told otherwise by her. Nobody amongst the Royals in the UK would address a princess as 'Princess' - it'd be 'Your Royal Highness'. But, admittedly, you might think that's a bit of a mouthful. Also, one day, you might think it makes you sound old.

thetammyjo -> RE: A set of rules... (12/6/2009 8:59:30 AM)
I'm replying to the very first post in this thread. My advice is to wait on most of this "rule" idea until you two have gone through the Miss Abernathy books together. Those books are not philosophy, they are more like workbooks and you need to work through them together if you want to get real benefit from them. You need to read them first, obviously, but then you both need to set up a schedule to start working through them, especially the "Training with" book. Here is my strong advice, please do think about it because I'm giving it to you in all seriousness. First, read "Concise Slave Training Manual" yourself. Give yourself at least two weeks to read through it and think about it, taking notes, doing any reflections the book suggests. There are few sections in that book that your sub may benefit from and you'll know them when you see them. IF you feel a connection to that first book's approach then tackle the "Training with" book. This is a training manual, reading it through does next to nothing. You have to actively use it. Now, I have almost two decades of experience but I first started using this book many, many years ago. Because I had about 7 years real community, and purposely, conscious experience, I could guide a submissive through the first 20 lessons in about 16 weeks (because the "Preliminaries" are more thought exercise than practice so you can do a few at a time). You may need more than a week per lesson in the "Basic" section because you are new and I'm assuming he is new, too. You may also need more time depending on your schedules and work requirements. But at least give each lesson (lessons 7-20) one week because you need to honestly do those exercises and make the investments required. Guess what? For each lesson he has to do, you do, too, because this is your first time with it. I did all the lessons myself over the course of six months myself before I used it but I had time to invest in that learning process while I continued to gain basic experiences with play partners. Now if you get through that you might want to tackle the "Area Studies" and again this takes months to do even if you only do one or two of the categories. I know I'm being a downer of reality but this is my best advice for you and anyone else looking at these books.

thaprincess -> RE: A set of rules... (12/6/2009 9:10:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thetammyjo I'm replying to the very first post in this thread. My advice is to wait on most of this "rule" idea until you two have gone through the Miss Abernathy books together. Those books are not philosophy, they are more like workbooks and you need to work through them together if you want to get real benefit from them. You need to read them first, obviously, but then you both need to set up a schedule to start working through them, especially the "Training with" book. Here is my strong advice, please do think about it because I'm giving it to you in all seriousness. First, read "Concise Slave Training Manual" yourself. Give yourself at least two weeks to read through it and think about it, taking notes, doing any reflections the book suggests. There are few sections in that book that your sub may benefit from and you'll know them when you see them. IF you feel a connection to that first book's approach then tackle the "Training with" book. This is a training manual, reading it through does next to nothing. You have to actively use it. Now, I have almost two decades of experience but I first started using this book many, many years ago. Because I had about 7 years real community, and purposely, conscious experience, I could guide a submissive through the first 20 lessons in about 16 weeks (because the "Preliminaries" are more thought exercise than practice so you can do a few at a time). You may need more than a week per lesson in the "Basic" section because you are new and I'm assuming he is new, too. You may also need more time depending on your schedules and work requirements. But at least give each lesson (lessons 7-20) one week because you need to honestly do those exercises and make the investments required. Guess what? For each lesson he has to do, you do, too, because this is your first time with it. I did all the lessons myself over the course of six months myself before I used it but I had time to invest in that learning process while I continued to gain basic experiences with play partners. Now if you get through that you might want to tackle the "Area Studies" and again this takes months to do even if you only do one or two of the categories. I know I'm being a downer of reality but this is my best advice for you and anyone else looking at these books. Thank you thetammyjo for the advice. I just started reading over the first section of the book which is the Training Manual and it is alot to take in. So I do believe I'll take my time with this and him.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: A set of rules... (12/6/2009 1:50:42 PM)
OP, there is no need for a reward/punishment dynamic with your slave. If it floats y'alls' boat, fine. Just sayin', there are a lot of us who don't need or desire it. For my slaveboy and I: *Fun*ishment, yes! That's yummy. But punishment? Nope. Not our thing.

MissDita -> RE: A set of rules... (12/7/2009 1:53:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thaprincess quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 Just a few thoughts below about your rules. "1) Princess' word is law. There will be no back talk to her of any kind." OK. Have you addressed how your sub is to handle issues which will pop up within your relationship? Have you thought about how to handle the usual conflicts and questions that he/she may have? We've discussed this numerous times and although I made up that rule, I constantly communicate with him and ask him if he has any suggestions or questions about anything. It's not like I tell him to be a mindless human being with no thoughts or ideas, but I can see how that would be somewhat confusing to others if they don't know the dynamic we're trying to put into place which is for constant open communication. When I say no back talk he understands that I mean when I tell him to do something after we've discussed it and I've considered his feelings as well as the impact it may have on him and/or I, he's to do as I say. I'm not harsh with him. And haha lusciouslips I did actually find your comment to be funny because my parents wouldn't be happy if they knew about my life, then again they are ultra conservative and so anything that deviates from mainstream vanilla life would be disturbing to them. But I like a good laugh every now and then even if it's at my newbie mistakes. I completely understand as I have the same rule in My 24/7 Femdom relationship. And I also ask his opinion and he is certainly not mindless. But when I tell him not to talk back to Me he will imediatly know his place and sometimes even be transported to subspace. It works very well with us. And I only remind him to this rule when I need to exercise My power over him, if a discussion is getting out of hand, or if I want to let him know I'm in a dominant moodset. Don't make it a rule for him to kneel in public. If you really need him to make some gesture, make him for example stand up when he is seated when you enter the room. Not allowing him to go anywhere without your permission is unworkable. You better let him tell you in the morning what his plans are for the day. And if anything changes he can let you know by sms. Let him ask for permissions only for social events. I think the webpage of Elise Sutton or Her books would be very interesting for you. http://www.femalesuperiority.com/ good luck

Acer49 -> RE: A set of rules... (12/7/2009 2:52:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thaprincess Ok so I'm new to the scene, but I came up with a list of preliminary rules for my sub. I'm getting Miss Abernathy's Ominus tomorrow [:D] so after I read that I may revise them a little if I read something that catches my attention and/or I think will benefit my sub and I. Anyway, here are my 7 rules for him. We both want a 24/7 live in relationship sooner or later, so some of the rules reflect that aspect we wish to bring to our relationship in the future. Anyway, some feedback on whether or not you think they are good would be awesome. And thank you in advance. 1) Princess' word is law. There will be no back talk to her of any kind. 2) Whenever Princess enters the room you are to hit the floor on all fours, your head bowed low to the ground. You must not rise until you are given permission to do so. In public places you are to only kneel before her, keeping your head bowed low until she tells you to rise. You are also to be silent during this time unless she directly speaks to you. 3) You are not to leave the house without Princess knowing of your whereabouts. You are her slave and as such you will always check in with her before making any decisions on where you will go aside from ones that are work related. 4) You are not to call any other woman by the name of Mistress. You may use the titles of Miss or Ma'am, but never Mistress. You only have one Mistress and she is Princess [insert my name here]. 5) When speaking to your Mistress, you are to always to call her Princess unless told otherwise by her. 6) You are to show all women respect and treat them as the goddesses they are. 7) You are to never forget that serving your Mistress is a privilege and not a right. You are lucky to belong to her and even luckier to get the honour to serve her. #1 respect is desired , no problem there #2 In private, a bit much and not alwalys practical, public disply however is unacceptible #3 Want a doormat do you? trust me you will grow tired of it in short order #4 fair enough #5 Ok, that is fine #6 Respect of a woman fine, as a goddess, not in this or any other lifetime #7 If you do your job right and are worthy of the title, there should be no problem

theRose4U -> RE: A set of rules... (12/9/2009 3:19:14 PM)
quote: In public places you are to only kneel before her, keeping your head bowed low until she tells you to rise. You are also to be silent during this time unless she directly speaks to you Good way to get your butt kicked by other kinksters. Your kink shouldn't be something I or nillas with kids should be forced to endure. quote: You are not to leave the house without Princess knowing of your whereabouts. You are her slave and as such you will always check in with her before making any decisions on where you will go aside from ones that are work related Have fun with that kind of micro-management. Some of us have our own lives and jobs to deal with. Either you trust a pet or you don't quote: You are to show all women respect and treat them as the goddesses they are All women aren't worthy of respect or obedience. Why would you set a sub up to be abused when it would actually be your fault that it happened?

Politesub53 -> RE: A set of rules... (12/9/2009 4:13:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery You need to take a chill pill . Kevin I never knew you did irony Kevin. [;)]

MistressMaster85 -> RE: A set of rules... (12/9/2009 4:38:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider To add a person totally dedicatd to me in my household I would say cost a minimum of 1000 $ a month. That is for somebody who have no outside interest. Uses her day doing chores and the rest watching telly or use the internet. She would be excluded going along on holidays, rarely coming out when i go to restaurants bars or things like that. A car is also out of the question and so is smoking, which is rather unfair as i do smoke. This is in a country where medical insurance is for free by the way. I often wonder how a 20 year old girl can afford that. Also how she really managed to get a home together which is large enough to take the addition? Well, I am astounded. Here in AMERICA, things are a little cheaper. The only things a true slave dedicated to someone needs is food, water, shelter, and the hygiene things a female slave would need. 1000 a month sounds a little (ok a lot) high. I don't even spend that much on myself a YEAR. And as far as having a home, I know single 20 year old Dommes that have slaves that live in 1 bedroom apartments. So as far as having the ROOM, that's ridiculous. I know I am new to these posts, but this post is just a little off. And if the slave is dedicated to me, she wouldn't smoke anyway. Even if I did, which I don't. What I do is my business, and the slave would have to deal with it. A Domme only has to cater to a slave's NEEDS, not wants. Wants can be rewards for good behavior, etc. But are not necessary.

CarrieO -> RE: A set of rules... (12/9/2009 7:32:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMaster85 The only things a true slave dedicated to someone needs is food, water, shelter, and the hygiene things a female slave would need. Do you really believe that's all a slave needs? How do you define need? Basic survival...or more? 1000 a month sounds a little (ok a lot) high. I don't even spend that much on myself a YEAR. And as far as having a home, I know single 20 year old Dommes that have slaves that live in 1 bedroom apartments. So as far as having the ROOM, that's ridiculous. Interesting...where would you purpose to keep this slave of little needs? In the cupboard under the stairs? I know I am new to these posts, but this post is just a little off. And if the slave is dedicated to me, she wouldn't smoke anyway. Even if I did, which I don't. What I do is my business, and the slave would have to deal with it. A Domme only has to cater to a slave's NEEDS, not wants. Wants can be rewards for good behavior, etc. But are not necessary. I guess it comes back to how you define wants and needs. Food, water, shelter and basic hygiene products...that's it for needs, right? What about health, employment, family...reality-based things like that?

ElanSubdued -> RE: A set of rules... (12/10/2009 9:23:25 AM)
sunshinemiss, --- I think she's gonna trip over him at some point. This is no slight to the OP. Your remark made me really laugh - short, likely factual, decisive, and to the point! Elan.

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