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first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/6/2009 6:01:02 PM   
slavejim111


Posts: 8
Joined: 10/11/2009
Status: offline 		Well being still new to this and all im not quite sure if there are certain things you should do when meeting a domme for the the first time or somethings u should really avoid, cause ive met a few girls before and it's been fine but i am about to meet my first domme and am a little nervous i may do something i shouldnt or not do something she may expect any advice would help alot

slaveJim
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/6/2009 6:18:02 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'll be happy to answer your question, but I have one of My own first.  Why would you expect to treat a Domme any differently than any other person you were meeting for the first time?

In other words, put your best foot forward.  Be on time.  Dress nicely.  Be courteous and considerate.  Be engaged in the conversation.  Only discuss kink or play if she brings up the subject.  DO NOT THINK WITH YOUR PENIS OR YOUR FETISHES.

Most importantly, remember that the most important part of the 'Dominant woman' description is the word woman.  Treat her like a person, rather than whatever you've conjured up in your head that a Domme is supposed to be.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to slavejim111)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/6/2009 6:18:07 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		I guess it depends. Just don't say I Love You on the first date..lol.

But really, a nice inexpensive gift with meaning is always a nice gesture, even if she doesn't request one. Avoid sex talk, other lurid behavior, be yourself and things should be ok.

(in reply to slavejim111)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/6/2009 6:24:21 PM   
tornaway


Posts: 174
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline
   Lady Pact said it all !   

Remember this is a meeting of two PEOPLE .   Put your best foot forward , and treat her like a lady !    And though you may be abit nervous - try to relax and find things to laugh about together !        Good luck !

(in reply to Underumam)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/6/2009 6:50:47 PM   
Alixandria


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2005
From: Edmonton, Alberta
Status: offline 		~ FR ~
Remember not to refer to her (or other women) as a "girl".

Alix


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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 4:21:09 AM   
BoiJen


Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline 		Where's slaveKal when you need him?

boi


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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 7:57:37 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Just dont spill coffee over Her whatever you do or drinks for that matter. Come to think of it the Woman who told me that was winding me up. Spilling drinks over Domme, even water? Em not a good idea
Laughs
Kevin

(in reply to BoiJen)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 7:59:55 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		Just dont spill coffee over Her or any drinks for that matter even water. Spilling drinks even water over a Domme? Em not a good idea. Whoever told me that , come to think of it, was winding me up. Not a good move. Not unless you want to be rejected in no uncertain terms. But if you act normal and do everything that the people on this board have indicated you wont go far wrong. This board is good. Ive learned a lot since first coming here. Have fun
Kevin

(in reply to slavejim111)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 8:02:53 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		relax and be yourself. answer her questions honestly be polite and go from there. good luck

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LadyPact

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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 9:20:03 AM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		be clean, and well groomed, do not expect her to be in leather or latex, greet politely, but unless she has requested it, don't use title such as mistress, goddess, bla bla, avoid gushing about sex, or what you want her to do, don't refer to her or other females as girls, and understand she is not "your domme", but instead a lady whom you wish to impress. A single flower (especially if you know her favorite) has more impact then a dozen roses. Brush up on your general/courtly manners. Be ready to discuss general interests, and common ideals, to start establishing a basic releationship.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 12:39:00 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		Ask her what her expectations are.  Meet or exceed them.  I like my potentials to wear women's panties under their clothes, the best one yet had frillies all across the butt.  Loved that.  If you feel you must address her as something in public, ask her what would be acceptable.  I prefer, "My Lady," if a sub feels he cannot address me by name.  And I cannot stress oral hygiene enough.  Nothing worse than meeting someone that makes you want to gag every time they open their mouth to speak. (Yes, I have had it happen to me.  UGH!!)

Lady

(in reply to slavejim111)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 12:45:40 PM   
MMercurial


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'll be happy to answer your question, but I have one of My own first.  Why would you expect to treat a Domme any differently than any other person you were meeting for the first time?

In other words, put your best foot forward.  Be on time.  Dress nicely.  Be courteous and considerate.  Be engaged in the conversation.  Only discuss kink or play if she brings up the subject.  DO NOT THINK WITH YOUR PENIS OR YOUR FETISHES.

Most importantly, remember that the most important part of the 'Dominant woman' description is the word woman.  Treat her like a person, rather than whatever you've conjured up in your head that a Domme is supposed to be.


Amen.  I have had the worst experiences with subs unable to contain themselves.  They acted inappropriately and talked about the most inappropriate topics upon meeting for the FIRST time in public.  I was in shock.

For the longest time, I just wouldn't come back on here.  I didn't want to tolerate that crap in public again with the only alternative being to just get up and walk off.

And over the phone!  Gosh, the wankers!  How bizarre!  Sub boys can really be useless pains in the neck, not to mention being totally self-absorbed.
MM

< Message edited by MMercurial -- 12/7/2009 12:52:02 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 12:55:34 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Ladynslave

Ask her what her expectations are.  Meet or exceed them.  I like my potentials to wear women's panties under their clothes, the best one yet had frillies all across the butt.  Loved that.  If you feel you must address her as something in public, ask her what would be acceptable.  I prefer, "My Lady," if a sub feels he cannot address me by name.  And I cannot stress oral hygiene enough.  Nothing worse than meeting someone that makes you want to gag every time they open their mouth to speak. (Yes, I have had it happen to me.  UGH!!)

Lady



Be clear this is YOUR PREFERENCE. I personally meet my potentials the first few times in public. If I noticed visible panties in starbucks I'd be out of there!

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 1:09:04 PM   
Ladynslave


Posts: 376
Joined: 7/30/2009
Status: offline 		The I like wasn't clear enough?  He didn't show them to me in the public place we met, was later in a dark corner of the parking lot.  I had to know if I had been obeyed.

(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 1:11:20 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Clean, appropriate clothing for the setting. We met a boy on Saturday at a burger place - so the jeans and sweatshirt that he was wearing was just fine by us. He was clean, well groomed, etc. If we had been meeting at a fancier restaurant, I would have expected a nicer shirt than a sweatshirt.

If you know something that the lady in question is interested in, a small, inexpensive gift relating to it is probably appropriate - i.e. a book on the topic, a single flower as suggested earlier, crafting supplies if she does crafts, etc. For us, though, it's also perfectly fine to just bring yourself. Perhaps you should ask if there is anything that she wishes you to bring?

Making sure that you have an appropriate title to call her (her name, Miss, Ma'am, something that won't really bring attention), and please remember to use that and not call her "goddess" or whatever.

In general, it's best to know what she expects of you so that you don't offend her ... so your best bet is to ask her.

_____________________________

Miss Karen and Miss Holly

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

Friends are God's apology for relatives

(in reply to theRose4U)
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RE: first time meet Do's and Dont's - 12/7/2009 1:20:29 PM   
MistressEllen444


Posts: 109
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline 		It is a hard and fast rule of mine to always meet in a public place, casual meeting with the understanding that there will be no play on a first meeting. I find that getting that off the table helps and if it comes up from the sub during the meeting it is a red flag. Follow her lead - in all things, anticipating what someone wants is annoying to both if you get it wrong.
One quick note on bringing something, flower(s), small gift - I prefer not to have something brought just because it always seems to get in the way unless it fits in my purse. I do not want to walk around with a flower, seems a bit high school to me, but that is just me. I would ask if it is appropriate to bring a small token first. There are lots of times to bring something that is reflective of someone's personality/likes after you know them a little, means more to me.
Of course, the random perfect 5 ct diamond has yet to show up on a first meeting, but an exception could be made if it does.

(in reply to Ladynslave)
Profile   Post #: 16
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