Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Nightmare


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Nightmare Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Nightmare - 3/15/2006 1:37:51 PM   
LadyNeets


Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline
I thought Y/you A/all might like to have a laugh...

NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his
ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly,
the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

NIGHTMARE #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and
found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what should
I do?" "Oh-I know." He proceeded to get under the covers and go down
on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in pleasure.
After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she
climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife
there shaving her legs. He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?" She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll wake your mother"

NIGHTMARE #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door,
the guy starts feeling a little horny. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand
against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My
parents will see us!" "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this
hour?" He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we
get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I
love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?" Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas,
hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go ahead
and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says
she can come down herself and do it But for God's sake tell him to
take his hand off the intercom!"



_____________________________

I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 1:58:16 AM   
unownedredhead


Posts: 498
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
OH, Lady Neets, I loved that last one.

dina

_____________________________

Kneeling trembling at your feet

(in reply to LadyNeets)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 6:15:33 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to unownedredhead)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 10:50:50 AM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
Bet that kinda ruined the mood.

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 10:57:29 AM   
incognitoinmass


Posts: 428
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline
You're killin' me

_____________________________

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

(in reply to LadyNeets)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 12:23:46 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline


Great laughs....... thanks

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to incognitoinmass)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 5:16:07 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
That last one is from a video clip. It's wrecked for you now but still good watching, and showing it to people rather than telling the joke. Everyone I've ever showed it to loved it. There is a copy of it in my FTP at :

http://members.aol.com/zzyzzwicky2/mastercard.asf

For those who didn't know, just edit that line to ftp:// and the rest and it will download instead of play. It's about 2 MB so even on dialup it shouldn't be a problem.

BTW, I liked all of them.

T

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 8:56:43 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
Lady Neets......chortle...I found #2 definitely hair raising..


(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Nightmare - 3/16/2006 10:42:54 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
roflmao that was too funny........i think number 2 was the best.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Nightmare - 3/17/2006 1:04:10 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
Well they do always say incests best.

(in reply to Sub03)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Nightmare - 3/21/2006 4:21:24 PM   
lokisgodhi


Posts: 69
Status: offline
I know this is humor BUT....

Why do so many guys get so freaked about hooking up with a MtF as long as the offending body part has been removed?

It seems to me the MtF 1. know what turns on men, 2. Are dammed hard to get pregnant and if can't tell the difference and you find the person attractive, who cares?


LadyNeets wrote:

NIGHTMARE #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his
ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy. Calmly,
the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."""""

(in reply to LadyNeets)
Profile   Post #: 11
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Nightmare Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.047