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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Children (12/8/2009 10:13:55 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SlayerZ
Let's be honest here, most kids don't even like to think that their parents had sex in the first place, never mind trying to comprehend anything of the kink variety! I think if most kids learned that their parents undertook some sort of D/s activity, as well as lived/living the lifestyle, then they'd go totally postal!
As for me, my birth was purely based around immaculate conception. Honest.
After raising 4 to adulthood, I find that this isn't universally accurate. While we never discussed specific details of sex lives with any of our offspring, there was no way that they could be around us and not know that we had (1) a poly household with multiple affectionate relationships going on at any given time, (2) an authority-dynamic household, with very specific rules and certain folks who clearly lived to be of service to other members of our household, and (3) a religiously/spiritually/energetically unorthodox household that had a wide variety of beliefs or non-beliefs in metaphysical things and entities.
What we discovered was that, if one of the saplings asked a question, we answered as honestly as possible, without giving gory details. For example, my offspring asked, when I was in my service-to-training phase of being in the household, what my collar meant. I explained to them that it was a gift from people who cared deeply for me, and that the gift was meant to remind me that my duty was to the House, and that that duty was cherished and needed. That was enough of an answer to keep them happy for -years-.
Later on, when my offspring started being exposed to other forms of input, from things like movies, TV, the internet, and friends who were exploring different things, we continued to offer information and advice as they asked for it, never apologized for our choices, and continued to keep blatant sexual acts in "private space", while not hiding the day-to-day aspects of our way of life or apologizing or showing shame for being our authentic selves.
What we've ended up with are 4 amazing adults, two of whom have fetishes of their own, and two who are much more mainstream. All of them are comfortable coming to any of the members of our household to ask questions, get advice, or elicit information, without having to share their own gory details if they choose not to, and without having to listen to any of ours. Our saplings know that some of us have sex, some of us are celibate by choice, and some of us are celibate by current necessity, but we don't actively discuss anyone's sex life unless it our own and unless the question being asked requires a detailing of such things. Our offspring don't cringe or hide or blush when sex topics -do- come up, and look upon us, now that they're grown, as resources for accurate information on everything from AIDS to birth control to quality toys to fetish safety to managing household servants or keeping up a healthy poly household.
Dame Calla
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