Sissy Boys

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Sissy Boys

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Sissy Boys

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 3:22:30 AM

TheDuke3

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/16/2009
Status: offline

I get the feeling that most Dommes in the South are clueless about what a sissy is. Do they think that, because I wish to be treated as a child ( in some respects ) and dressed in prissy or sexy humiliating girly attire, that I am gay? Sure, some sissies are gay. But not all of us. I enjoy wearing rediculously skimpy girly shorts, skirts, and dresses. I love pretty silky panties. But, the phantoms of my fantasies are very female. I am totally submissive and can be absolutely obediant. Yet, I am simply skipped over by Dommes in search of subs. Why?

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 3:49:14 AM

tvsue

Posts: 29
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

we all are been looking for years and sitll looking, best of luck to you.

_____________________________

you only live once so dont knock it try it

(in reply to TheDuke3)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 4:15:56 AM

CherokeeRose2

Posts: 36
Joined: 11/29/2008
Status: offline

As a southern lady, I know full well what a sissy is.

As a Domme, I'm not interested in a "submissive" who wants to dictate how I treat him.

You're more than welcome to search for the kind of relationship that you want, but understand that the women that you approach are searching for the relationship that SHE wants. If she's not interested in what you are offering, then that's that. The only thing you can control in that exchange is your own behavior, approach, and thinking - not hers.

If you're constantly being passed over, step back and take a look at yourself, since you are the common denomenator in all of this. Are you offering enough? Are your expectations out of whack? Are you putting your best foot forward or are you making a poor first impression? Are you flixible and diverse or is it all about you and your wants? When you slap the label of submissive on yourself is it REALLY about what she wants or is it just a means to get the kink that YOU want?

Sissies don't generally have a wide appeal in BDSM, so you're taking a very small pool of available women and narrowing it down drastically, so you have to think really hard about what you can do to make yourself attractive to those that WOULD be interested.

Making disparaging remarks about a group of women because no one is giving you what you want isn't going to help you find what you want.

The cock shot doesn't help get favorable attention either.

< Message edited by CherokeeRose2 -- 12/9/2009 4:35:34 AM >

(in reply to tvsue)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 5:20:19 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I get the feeling that most Dommes in the South are clueless about what a sissy is.

quote:

As a southern lady, I know full well what a sissy is.

Funny I'm from the North (looks outside the window and sees a snowstorm - yup North) and I really no real understanding of what a sissy is nor any desire to know as it's not my kink!

Maybe his compass isn't working?

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 12/9/2009 5:21:39 AM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to CherokeeRose2)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 5:38:06 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

Just a couple of thoughts...

Are the photos on your profile of you? I have a feeling they aren't. If this is true, why not show yourself (you don't need to do a full face shot) instead of an image of what you want to be?

You've only been here less than 3 months. I would suggest you take some time to work a bit more on your profile. I get nothing of you from it...only your desires. There's nothing eye-catching about it. What can you offer besides your income (careful mentioning that as it may draw undesireables in the beginning), no attachments (not sure if that's a pro or a con) and your desire to be a sissy (btw...not an unusual thing) ? You say you want to serve and you can be obediant...none of that comes through in your profile.

Be patient...there are others who have searched for years, you may be no different. As I read somewhere else on these boards "if you want someone rare it helps to be someone rare"....are you rare?

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to TheDuke3)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 5:42:28 AM

QueenRah

Posts: 380
Joined: 6/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CherokeeRose2

As a Domme, I'm not interested in a "submissive" who wants to dictate how I treat him.

You're more than welcome to search for the kind of relationship that you want, but understand that the women that you approach are searching for the relationship that SHE wants.

If you're constantly being passed over, step back and take a look at yourself, since you are the common denominator in all of this. Are you offering enough? Are your expectations out of whack? Are you putting your best foot forward or are you making a poor first impression? Are you flixible and diverse or is it all about you and your wants? When you slap the label of submissive on yourself is it REALLY about what she wants or is it just a means to get the kink that YOU want?

Making disparaging remarks about a group of women because no one is giving you what you want isn't going to help you find what you want.

The cock shot doesn't help get favorable attention either.

Ya. All of the above. This is exactly how I feel. I wonder if he'll read it and see himself there?

QueenRah

_____________________________

Life's too short to drink cheap booze!

(in reply to CherokeeRose2)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 5:53:20 AM

SolangeRichards

Posts: 170
Joined: 5/8/2005
Status: offline

I doubt that it's a case of Southern Ladies being clueless about sissies Duke3. I think the ones you have contacted thus far do in fact know and have decided it's not their cup of tea.

It's not a case of them being stupid about it all, nor one of you being a leper either. They sell alot of flavors of ice cream over at Baskin Robbins because people are different and they all want different things.

An overlooked method of finding the right people is too read any information available to you in profiles and journals. It's an easy, non-intrusive way to learn a little about someone. If you are constantly approaching Women who express no interest in your flavor of kink it's easy to see why you are batting zero.

Refine your search. Seek Mistresses who are open to your sissification and disregard those who are not. You might wind up meeting someone......

(in reply to TheDuke3)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 7:05:05 AM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

OP:
Ther are many kinds/styles of DOMMES and many kinds of desires/ subs and even
many kinds of sissies.....there are sissies who like humilation..therefore think that dressing as a woman is demeaning..which for me speaks volumes about how he sees women in society in his mind..

There are those like dear OtterSwim on here who wish to take a journey INTO the feminine..
to become as an omnipod..as in PLato's Symposium(if I may? Otter?)
and see this as an HONOR to dress and embelish as a woman to balance masculine and feminine energies...a heiros gamos if you will

You have a limited type of interaction sought
Your profile says Humilatrix...not all DOMMES are..at all!!

TO define yourself in one word and a DOMME in one word really limits your search.

What of serving? and enhancing her life?rather than just being humilated and wearing panties..?

MOST have enough CLUES to steer clear of such a narrow "commonalities"sought.
I know that at your age you have many other gifts to offer as well as one "kink"

GM
added note: gay does not get a "pass over" either from some DOMMES..
I had a wonderful gay AB this Spring..
dear luca

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 12/9/2009 7:08:45 AM >

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to SolangeRichards)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 7:12:38 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Speaking as someone who lived in GA for five years prior to a move just a few months ago, I can promise you that it isn't a case of Southern Dominant women being unaware of what a sissy is. It's more that they are aware, and it's something that a good number of females aren't interested in sissies for their partners. For those who aren't interested in having a sissy in their life, you aren't necessarily going to change their minds by saying what a great submissive you are. There are plenty of good submissives out there who don't have this particular kink that are going to be a better match for them.

It doesn't have to do with where you live or some imagined ignorance of your particular kink. It has more to do with the fact that people have preferences, just like you do, and they are exercising that preference when looking for potential subs.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SolangeRichards)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Sissy Boys - 12/9/2009 8:02:17 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

What is there in your profile to attract a potential Lady? What will you offer Her other than your kinks? Who are you as a person other than someone who sounds quite demanding in your profile about what "She" will be and how She will treat you?

Are you really 60 years old? Show your real face, your real body, and tell Her about who you are outside of your kinks.

What do you bring to a relationship? What will you offer Her that is attractive? Submission is not about you getting all prissy and then mincing around as she points. Submission is -proactive- service and devotion, regardless of what you are wearing. A D/s relationship is one of "inspiration" where the two sides inspire the other to meet their needs rather than demanding it or using their kink as a "condition of service".

Your profile suggests that you are out of balance with your girly kink - it is driving you here and to seek out someone. Realize that without balancing the girl side with realism and really doing some introspection of what you really want, and how you can realistically get it, then you become a one-trick-pony - it drives you rather than it being one part of a whole rounded being. Give it space and honor in your life and try to integrate it into you as a whole person.

In a D/s relationship with a Lady, the D/s is the -foundation and focus-, the girl side of you is part of the -spice-.

I would also examine the need for humiliation in relation to your girl side. Erotic humiliation is all well and good, but if you feel humiliation because you are feeling female - as if being female is somehow degrading - then you are likely to encounter a lot of Ladies who won't play with that energy. The whole "unmanning" thing I admit is a mystery to me as I am a seeker of balance and I enjoy my guy side too. Perhaps someone else can give a more balanced perspective of that.

Finally, as others have stated here, realize that in being a girlie-boy, you have taken an already small pond of potential Dominants, and made it into a puddle. They are out there, but they are a subsection of an already small population. Thereby, it is VERY important that when you encounter a Lady that is open or even enthusiastic about your girl side, you have all your emotional baggage sorted, you are as integrated as you can be, and your focus is not on your kink(s), but on Her. Make your girlie side a positive thing in your person and your life and people will not be able to help but to be drawn to it.

Good luck in your search.