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MsMillgrove -> RE: Do all Mistress's / Masters use pain (12/10/2009 2:36:07 AM)
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Because all my subs have been pain-avoiders, and I thought I too couldn't dish out any pain, I avoided it. Yet, I've learned that until I have tried something, I don't really "know" what I like or dislike. For me, it comes down to the person, not so much the activity. I've become good at delivering pain because I wanted to learn the skills and found two play partners who are much bigger than I am, both former doms and trustworthy. Willing to give feedback and advice. With them, I was able to sharpen my skills, gain confidence and discover that I love impact play.
Over time, I've been introducing my offline subs to pain, in tiny steps, with the same idea--that they don't "know" if they like or not. The assesment on that, so for, is that if you go very slowly, you lose your fear, you build up tolerance and discover the "high" you get from pain. If you haven't been there, it's hard to describe, maybe something like the effect of morphine after a big surgery? You still have clarity but there's a sense of floating above everything.
I want my subs to desire pain, to increase their threshold for it, so I never use pain as correction (punishment).
I agree, you don't need pain for a strong, happy d/s dynamic, but if you've never tried it, maybe you want to do some small experiments to see if it helps you and your subs grow. Again though, when looking to develope desire for pain, not a good idea to use as correction technique. It's not "needed", but it sure opens up a new world if you take an adventure in it.
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