Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (Full Version)

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FullCircle -> Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 6:58:30 AM)

Hello worthy followers and welcome to my new religion. I see a gap in the current spiritual market and must fill it with more bad advice. I have taken the time to draw up the following preliminary commandments for you to live by:

Thou shall not wear green
Thou shall seek submission to the weak
Thou shall seek power over the powerful
Thou shall do thou job well unless you work for the tax department
Thou should not take themselves or others too seriously

Blessed are the Cirtopians

Did I also mention my church roof is leaking?
[8|]



truesub4u -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 8:10:08 AM)

hehehe... cute



fergus -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:33:18 AM)

As a member of the NEW REFORMED order of the Cirtopians -

Green is okay.

This has been okay since the great schizm of about an hour ago.

fergus



Evanesce -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 12:23:46 PM)

quote:

Thou shall not wear green


Will I go to Hell if I only wear it on March 17? Gotta stay true to my heritage at least once a year, yanno.

But then, I hear Hell is one Hell of a place to be on Halloween. [sm=trident.gif]



BitaTruble -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 12:57:03 PM)

quote:

As a member of the NEW REFORMED order of the Cirtopians -

Green is okay.

This has been okay since the great schizm of about an hour ago.

fergus


As a member of the Oompa Loompa branch of the New Reformed order of the Cirtopians, we allow the wearing of green only on alternate Thursday's and only in conjunction with orange stripes. We also have decided that one must take one's self seriously, but never take anyone else seriously unless they can actually pull off wearing a green suit with orange stripes. We prefer vertical stripes, but I've heard they do it all wrong on the left bank and wear horizontal stripes. We are massing for war as I write these words. Now.. where's the green beer? We're going to need that for tomorrow.

Celeste



Gauge -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 1:32:28 PM)

As the founder of the United Assembly of New Reformed Cirtopians I must disagree with the very foundation of the Oompa Loompa branch of the New Reformed Cirtopians. New Reformed Oompa Loompaian Cirtopianism has a height restriction on their members. Cirtopianism is for everyone. Wearing green should only be done on a Wednesday after a ceremonial washing and a sacrifice of Pistachio Jell-O pudding made on an altar of Gorgonzola cheese. We do not believe in telekinesis. We believe in Telly Savalas. We also have instituted a prayer to be recited before and directly after services in the church. The prayer is simple: Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. Get down tonight. Amen.

Contributions to the United Assembly of New Reformed Cirtopians can be sent to me and I will see that they get deposited where they should be.



RubberWitch -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 1:42:18 PM)

I follow all religions. Occasionally they drop loose change

J



BitaTruble -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 2:09:25 PM)

quote:

Contributions to the United Assembly of New Reformed Cirtopians can be sent to me and I will see that they get deposited where they should be.


::puts down the name of Gauge on The List::

Uh huh. We're watching you.

Celeste



Level -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 4:28:22 PM)

.....*sits by fax as the New Testament of the Agnostic True Believers Brigade, 4th chapter, second verse, comes across*...."yeah, tho I walk through the valley of the Oompa Loompas, I shall know no Cirtopians, yea verily, as an Agnostic, I know that I don't know, Yanno"......

.......and a hush fell over the earth..........................you coulda heard a pin drop...........



FullCircle -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 5:12:33 PM)

I cast out the heathen Level may he never darken the door of the true Cirtopian followers.[8|]



Level -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 5:52:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: FullCircle

I cast out the heathen Level may he never darken the door of the true Cirtopian followers.[8|]


..........and Level fell to earth.

After a period of time.........he awoke and felt.........changed. His hands were the same. His face, his legs, his errr, elbows too. And then he spoke. "Hah??? What's dis? Why'm I tawkin like a Nu Yawker???........AAAAAAARRGGGGHHH........"

And silence fell once more.



Gauge -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 8:07:32 PM)

quote:

::puts down the name of Gauge on The List::

Uh huh. We're watching you.



Yeah, like I have never been on a "list" before. And THEY have been watching me for a long, long time... take a number.



Evanesce -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:20:51 PM)

As the Oompa Loompaian Cirtopians prepare to go to war with the United Assembly of New Reformed Cirtopians over the wearing of the green and height restrictions, the time is now ripe for a coup by the leadership of the Southern Roman Assembly of the Semi-Holy Trinity of New Cirtopians.

We will be kind, and allow those deposed to live, but our law is firm, and you shall live out your days beating each other in our many dungeons. Green must be worn daily in the form of undergarments only, and must never be seen by the non-believers. Daily prayer must be spoken in a bad Scottish accent. Anyone not speaking with said accent will be sent for more green beer and a tutor to help them learn the bleedin' accent.

As it is written, so shall it be. Cirto bless the New Cirtopians.



BitaTruble -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:23:06 PM)

quote:

Yeah, like I have never been on a "list" before. And THEY have been watching me for a long, long time... take a number.


Hey, hey, now. There is a vast difference between 'a' list and The List.

We're still watching you. ::takes a number:: Hmm.. 69.. go figure.. ::and gets in line::

Celeste



BitaTruble -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:24:37 PM)

quote:

Green must be worn daily in the form of undergarments only,


Undergarments?? Now there's a false religion if ever there was one!

Bah! Pah! A pox on you!




Evanesce -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:27:47 PM)

quote:

Undergarments?? Now there's a false religion if ever there was one!

Bah! Pah! A pox on you!


Extra beatings for the deposed one, and show no mercy, that she remember socks are undergarments, too, and it gets mighty cold in the bowels of the dungeon.



UtopianRanger -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:46:54 PM)

quote:


Did I also mention my church roof is leaking?


*Scratches his head* Hmmm... I seem to remember reading something about the Cirtopians being kicked out of SF International airport for selling books and aggressive panhandling tactics? You wouldn't know anything about that would you?[8|]


- The Ranger



BitaTruble -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/16/2006 9:59:31 PM)

quote:

Extra beatings for the deposed one, and show no mercy, that she remember socks are undergarments, too, and it gets mighty cold in the bowels of the dungeon.


Don't try to tempt me with extra beatings! It won't work...

... well, it may work.. exactly how many extra beatings are we talking about here?

NO! No!!

::stands firm wearing only her green gloves with the orange stripes::

Long live naked! Undergarments be damned!

Celeste - who thinks it can't possibly get as cold in the bowels of the dungeon as it does here in Frozen Hell, MN.



FullCircle -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/17/2006 6:01:27 AM)

The Utopians have always seen the need to put about these lies that we Cirtopians need to sell our beliefs at the airport. Utopians are merely non believers put in the path of true Cirtopians to test our faith.

Blessed are the Cirtopians



candystripper -> RE: Join the new Cirtopianity religion, now! (3/17/2006 10:34:06 AM)

quote:

..........and Level fell to earth.

After a period of time.........he awoke and felt.........changed. His hands were the same. His face, his legs, his errr, elbows too. And then he spoke. "Hah??? What's dis? Why'm I tawkin like a Nu Yawker???........AAAAAAARRGGGGHHH........"

And silence fell once more.

Level


There are worse accents than NY...let's not go there; GRRRRRRRRR.

Points the way to the One True Church of the Cirtos; formed in 1, A.D. by a chick. A/anyone left outside our doors on Judgment Day is going to MN. (TY to Celeste for the MN idea.)

Rule No. One: tithe at 4% of assets and 10% of gross income, daily. Send $$ to Gauge.

NY Girl -- candystripper



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