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New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/11/2009 10:15:19 PM

kTez8

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/1/2009
Status: offline

Since I am looking to explore the lifestyle and being a sub. I wanted to know what you(all) think is the most common mistake a newbie like myself would make?

Sorry it's a very general question, but empty cups need water :)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/11/2009 10:32:05 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

Asking questions is the best thing a sub can do. We've trained lots of subs and tutor Mistresses and we've found the worst thing is when a sub is selfish and tops from the bottom. But asking questions shows you want to learn and that's what makes a great sub.

Hope this helps.

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http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to kTez8)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/12/2009 12:13:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Worst mistake - Losing common sense just because kink is involved.

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/12/2009 1:20:47 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

quote:

LadyPact:
Worst mistake - Losing common sense just because kink is involved.

What LadyPact said.

Elan.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/12/2009 1:36:01 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Worst mistake - Losing common sense just because kink is involved.

Ding ding ding! Winner!
It can be really confusing for someone just discovering submission; it certainly was for me. For most s types, the goal is giving up control. Doing so often requires a bit of a mental shift, as most of us were raised to be in charge of our lives. When we make the decision to give that control to another for the first time, it can be a bit disorienting. Add to that the enormous amount of disinformation that most new folks on both sides of the kneel tend to run into when first exploring, and it's no wonder that internal compasses get confused.

You will hear this said often on the boards, and it is true: a BDSM relationship is still a relationship. As a sub, you have every right to reject a potential partner for any reason, and to look for someone who will make you happy. You are under no obligation to submit to anyone just because they have a D on their shirt... no matter what some will tell you, lol.

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(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/12/2009 4:44:43 AM

Tinkerer

Posts: 136
Joined: 7/18/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Worst mistake - Losing common sense just because kink is involved.

Definitely the top of the list.

Don't do like I did either, and mistake submission for spinelessness. Most of the dominant ladies (including mine) that I'v met here seem to prefer submissive men, not doormats.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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RE: New to lifestyle/being a sub - 12/12/2009 9:27:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

My suggestion (not directed to you, but in general): Keep an eye on your attitude. A lot of malesubs get pissed off during the search, and then come to the forums to start a rant. They inevitably come off as childish when they do.

If you do get frustrated... take a little time off.

And if you find that you enjoy the hunt, more power to you!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Tinkerer)

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