How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (Full Version)

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YerGuardianDevil -> How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 11:57:42 AM)

Illinois doesn't recognize common law marriage, so I believe I'm in the clear - but plenty of other states do.  I'm curious about what 24/7 couples living together long-term do to avoid this law if it exists in their state.  Are there legally-binding (pardon the pun) documents that anyone here has successfully used to avoid being married against their will by the state?  Thanks for any knowledge that you can share.

-YGD



Lockit -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 12:04:46 PM)

From what I understand... each state has their own guidelines on what is considered common law. In one state it may be that just living together as a couple for a certain amount of time, makes you common law. In another, it may have the condition of the people calling one another husband or wife as if they are married.

Anyone concerned with this should check out the laws in their state and do whatever it takes to make sure that doesn't happen. I know in this situation even though my state at the time stated we actually have to claim to be husband or wife... I still kept a bedroom for myself and for him and never once referred to him as anything but a roommate except for with very close friends and then we were boyfriend and girlfriend. In another situation, I would be getting a document that states I am responsible for myself so that no one would ever have to pay my medical bills and would not marry, but if I were... a pre-nup would be in order!



sweetsub1957 -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 12:05:15 PM)

Washington doesn't have common law marriage anymore, so if the situation arose, I wouldn't have to worry about it.  But Washington is a state where, after four years of cohabiting, one can get "palimony."  So depending on where you live, there's that to research too, even if you don't end up married.



eyesopened -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 12:09:17 PM)

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=4265

Currently, only 9 states (Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Iowa, Montana, Oklahoma, and Texas) and the District of Columbia recognize common-law marriages contracted within their borders. In addition, five states have "grandfathered" common law marriage (Georgia, Idaho, Ohio, Oklahoma and Pennsylvania) allowing those established before a certain date to be recognized. New Hampshire recognizes common law marriage only for purposes of probate, and Utah recognizes common law marriages only if they have been validated by a court or administrative order.

Among those states that permit a common-law marriage to be contracted, the elements of a common-law marriage vary slightly from state to state. The indispensable elements are (1) cohabitation and (2) "holding out." "Holding out" means that the parties tell the world that they are husband and wife through their conduct, such as the woman's assumption of the man's surname, filing a joint federal income tax return, etc. This means that mere cohabitation cannot, by itself, rise to the level of constituting a marriage. Of course, many disputes arise when facts (such as intentions of the parties or statements made to third parties) are in controversy.



Lashra -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 3:23:11 PM)

Most states do not recognize common law marriage. As long as you do not hold yourselves out as spouses (she shouldn't use your last name as an example) you should be fine.

~Lashra



Lucienne -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 4:09:25 PM)

I bet Lloyds of London will sell you an insurance policy to cover the cost of damages should you find yourself accidentally married some day.



frazzle -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 5:21:46 PM)

I'm just curious as to why you wouldnt want a 24/7 partner, who you live with to have no rights under the law.

Ive been on the left with nothing end of this, proportionate to our incomes i paid the same as he did towards the household budget, but my name was not on the deeds of the house we bought, so when things went pear shaped, he still had the house and i was left starting again from scratch. Rented accomodation, no furniture etc.

He had the lot, we'd started out with all my furniture, white goods and replaced them using his credit card, therefore everything belonged to him.



Lucienne -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 5:29:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

I'm just curious as to why you wouldnt want a 24/7 partner, who you live with to have no rights under the law.



I'd say he wants his cake and to eat it too, but having a partner with no rights under the law is pretty consistent with what he's looking for in a relationship. Free room, board and lingerie in exchange for utter devotion.



Mercnbeth -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 5:31:23 PM)

We avoided it by getting married two years after living as 24/7 M/s.

Worked out well!



frazzle -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 5:39:45 PM)

[:D] I hadnt read the profile



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 6:26:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YerGuardianDevil

How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law



Easy... a shovel... deep hole... and a good alibi. [;)]




SomethingCatchy -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 7:08:15 PM)

While I realize marriage isn't for everyone, it seems kind of pathetic that a grown man would assume marriage is the end of the road and only causes misery. If you fuck up your marriage OF COURSE it's going to be unhappy. Who the hell told this guy it was supposed to be a cake walk?

Or maybe you're right, Lucienne. 



LafayetteLady -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 7:31:04 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: YerGuardianDevil

Illinois doesn't recognize common law marriage, so I believe I'm in the clear - but plenty of other states do.  I'm curious about what 24/7 couples living together long-term do to avoid this law if it exists in their state.  Are there legally-binding (pardon the pun) documents that anyone here has successfully used to avoid being married against their will by the state?  Thanks for any knowledge that you can share.

-YGD


You may be in the clear as far as a common law marriage goes, but considering you have nothing to offer any potential slave other than your version of "treating them well," I don't think is something you will need to worry about anytime soon. There are often threads here for subs/slaves on what they should rightfully expect if they are to give up everything for their dominant/master. You can't expect anyone to give up their career, contribute to your household and in return you will "help them choose" lingerie, you don't even offer to buy it! No many people with an ounce of intelligence is going to see that as a "great opportunity."

By the way, people leave the BDSM aspect out of their profile because they want someone who is going to take the "whole" person, not just their kinks. Yes, this is a kink oriented site, but you have been here for a mere couple of months. Check out the message boards and you are going to find out that a very large number of the people here are looking for more than just having a dick between their "warm reddened cheeks." Your profile describes what you want being the equivalent of a blow up doll and needing an escort to show off to your vanilla friends. There is a lot more to the subs here than just that warm wet hole you seem to be looking for.



AnimusRex -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 11:27:48 PM)

FR-

A lawyer once told me that the answer to any legal questions is : "It depends."

Because there are very few if any absolutes in the legal world.
If you live with a person long enough, common law marriage or no, she can still make a case for support and/ or property rights.
DEPENDING ON THE FACTS OF THE CASE.
Speak to the actor Lee Marvin for verification of this.

The length of time you were together, the intermingling of assets, the disparity of income, blah blah blah can all determine whether you are "in the clear" or not.

Thinking that you can somehow enjoy the benefits of a domestic partner for some length of time and not have her accrue rights under case law, is probably not a wise decision.



AQuietSimpleMan -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/12/2009 11:52:18 PM)

A quick simple solution to this is knowing the laws in your state.
 
As was pointed out above only 9 of the 50 recognize common law marriage.... However does Illinois observe Pal-omony? It's like Alomony only it is awarded to non legally wed partners who have become accustomed to living certain ways. Such as mistresses of powerful men who refused to wed for fear of being taken to the cleaners they can get taken to the cleaners anyway.
 
I know a few couples in California where a Dom threw a slave out and she was awarded palomony in some cases for 20 years after the relationship.
 
Always be aware of the worst case senario before you do anything and if you aren't willing to accept the worst case senario then don't do the deed.
 
QSM



WyldHrt -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/13/2009 12:38:50 AM)

quote:

We avoided it by getting married two years after living as 24/7 M/s.
Worked out well!

C'mon Merc, we all know that you really married beth to avoid that extra car rental charge. [;)]



sophiesback -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/13/2009 2:06:01 AM)

i also live in Illinois. While the state doesn't recognize "common law marriage" they do, however, recognize cohabitation for multiple years and the contribution each person makes to a household. my brother and his ex-girlfriend lived together for 12 years, never being married. Though the home was in her name, she could not make him leave, and he could make her give him half of what it was worth. (He didn't) As Animus said, it's all about the individual situation. Nothing is absolute.



Mercnbeth -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/13/2009 7:08:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
quote:

We avoided it by getting married two years after living as 24/7 M/s.
Worked out well!

C'mon Merc, we all know that you really married beth to avoid that extra car rental charge. [;)]
Yup - that was the specific day when it made sense.

You know me Wyld; my idea of a perfect situation is when I can make a qualitative, emotional decision that is in step with undeniable, pragmatic, and quantitative reality. Getting married was a result of one of those rare alignments.



peppermint -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/13/2009 11:13:11 AM)

I Googled common law and these are the criteria, state by state.  It seems that a key ingredient is that the couple presents themselves to others as being married, and/or having the intent of being married.   We live in Montana where there is common law marriage, however, we have never agreed to be married nor are we known to others as being married.  Therefore we can live together and never have to worry about being married and not know it. 

Alabama: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity; (2) an agreement to be husband and wife; and (3) consummation of the marital relationship.
Colorado: A common-law marriage may be established by proving cohabitation and a reputation of being married.
Iowa: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) intent and agreement to be married; (2) continuous cohabitation; and (3) public declarations that the parties are husband and wife.
Kansas: For a man and woman to form a common-law marriage, they must: (1) have the mental capacity to marry; (2) agree to be married at the present time; and (3) represent to the public that they are married.
Montana: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) capacity to consent to the marriage; (2) an agreement to be married; (3) cohabitation; and (4) a reputation of being married.
Oklahoma: To establish a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be competent; (2) agree to enter into a marriage relationship; and (3) cohabit.
Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).
Rhode Island: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) serious intent to be married and (2) conduct that leads to a reasonable belief in the community that the man and woman are married.
South Carolina: A common-law marriage is established if a man and woman intend for others to believe they are married.
Texas: A man and woman who want to establish a common-law marriage must sign a form provided by the county clerk. In addition, they must (1) agree to be married, (2) cohabit, and (3) represent to others that they are married.
Utah: For a common-law marriage, a man and woman must (1) be capable of giving consent and getting married; (2) cohabit; and (3) have a reputation of being husband and wife.
Washington, D.C.: The requirements for a common-law marriage are: (1) an express, present intent to D.C. be married and (2) cohabitation.



fluffypet61 -> RE: How do 24/7 live-in LTRs avoid common law marriage? (12/13/2009 11:30:18 AM)

yanno, for years people have been sharing residential accomodations and calling it "roommates" without calling themselves married.  Who knows if the relationship is "consumated". 
 
What about older folks who share a residence and do not get married because one of them would lose their Social Security check (if based on the spousal earnings)?  Who cares if they are fucking or not. 
 
Yes, i agree with the other posters who point out the need for creating joint assets in a LTR.  But even if a couple owns property jointly doesn't mean they are presenting themselves as married.  Look at all the single sex live-in LTRs.  They care for each other and hold property jointly.  And most states still will not let them get "married". 
 
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