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Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 12:39:52 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting article in today's Telegraph (a 'respectable' British newspaper - not one of the tabloids):

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/6798038/Tough-love-the-lives-and-times-of-a-dominatrix.html

Perhaps more articles like this will make it easier for people to come out of the BDSM closet.
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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 12:56:01 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		BDSM is the new black.


Edited to add:  ...Or it was last year, anyway... Maybe the general public is already bored with the idea.

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 12/13/2009 1:05:38 PM >

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 2:29:11 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

BDSM is the new black.


Edited to add:  ...Or it was last year, anyway... Maybe the general public is already bored with the idea.


I still think BDSM is the new black.
Have you looked at what vanilla people are into?
Have you looked at any of the sex toys they sell for vanilla's these days?
Handcuffs and strap-on's are all the rage.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 3:24:12 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I don't think we are mainstream in the states by a LONG shot. Goth fashions, okay, kinky sex? Take one step out of San Francisco or New York and see the results.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 4:27:55 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

Interesting article in today's Telegraph (a 'respectable' British newspaper - not one of the tabloids):

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/6798038/Tough-love-the-lives-and-times-of-a-dominatrix.html

Perhaps more articles like this will make it easier for people to come out of the BDSM closet.


What this article tells me is that there is a fascination with the Dominatrix, not the every day woman who happens to be dominant in her relationship with a man.

Oh and the image of a Dominatrix as a hot, sexy lady in tight black leather who knows exactly what she wants and eats men for breakfast has been giving boys boners since hector was a pup!

- LA

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 4:47:10 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Well, there were several things that I found interesting about this article, the least of which was the kink.

The first thing was that these women were perfectly happy to be photographed for and tell their story to a major newspaper.

The second is that the Telegraph tends to swing to the right of centre in its viewpoint, and is typically the defender of traditional British values: sovereign, church, and country weekends. So, not only is this not a story in a tabloid newspaper, it's not even a story in a particularly liberal newspaper.

Finally, whilst there certainly was a hefty dose of talking about kink, it's unusual that a story like this also presents the women as sisters, business owners, wives and potential mothers. It's much more likely, in a paper like this, to have taken the slant of showing how BDSM leads down the road to ruin.

Given that it was only, what, a year and a half ago that the British press were making mincemeat out of poor Max Mosley for his BDSM ménage à trois (or was it quatre or cinq?), it strikes me (forgive the pun) that we've made some progress here.

With any luck, they'll soon be doing "The Domina Next Door" stories.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 5:20:49 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryMercurial

I still think BDSM is the new black.
Have you looked at what vanilla people are into?
Have you looked at any of the sex toys they sell for vanilla's these days?
Handcuffs and strap-on's are all the rage.


Did you think for some reason that those involved in BDSM lifestyles had cornered the market on kinky sex? While it's certainly true the for most couples the whole D/s, M/s thing is much further than they actually want to take things, the majority of them are involved in some type of kinky sex. Toys are frequently a normal occurrance in their relationships, as are handcuffs, role playing and other games. Just because they don't search for slaves or owners, doesn't mean that they are oblivious to kinky sex. By your statement it means that anyone who doesn't take things outside the bedroom are vanilla, and I really just don't agree with that idea. I've never believed in an "Us vs. Them" type of mentality though.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 6:10:33 PM   
Underumam


Posts: 485
Joined: 12/18/2008
Status: offline 		Well, it seems as though people from all walks of life are waking up to the fact that we're in deep shit as a race, and the only way out of it is women taking their collective voice/power back..

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 6:28:25 PM   
BrutalDemon


Posts: 85
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

poor Max Mosley


I think you'll find the reasons for their interest in "poor" Max, was not the c/p aspect of his kink, but that he was paying for it and that it involved Nazi style uniforms.

Some people remember who his parents were... Oswald Mosely and Diana Mittford, both well known for their political views.

< Message edited by BrutalDemon -- 12/13/2009 6:29:28 PM >

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 6:43:16 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		Oh, I'm well aware of that, having followed the story quite closely. My sense is that was just an excuse drummed up by the media to account for their hysterical prurient interest in what Max got up to in his spare time, as a "public interest" story. I rather suspect their main goal was selling newspapers. But then, I'm cynical like that.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/13/2009 6:49:49 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I don't think we are mainstream in the states by a LONG shot. Goth fashions, okay, kinky sex? Take one step out of San Francisco or New York and see the results.


Hey! Just because you live in East Jesus, Texas, doesn't mean you can't be kinky!

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 4:54:56 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

The second is that the Telegraph tends to swing to the right of centre in its viewpoint, and is typically the defender of traditional British values: sovereign, church, and country weekends. So, not only is this not a story in a tabloid newspaper, it's not even a story in a particularly liberal newspaper.



The heir to the throne was caught on tape years ago expressing the desire to be reincarnated as his then-mistress/ now-wife's tampon. Said wife being an exemplar of country living.

From my viewpoint, thousands of miles and an ocean away, I'll consider this article, with bemusement, as an attempt to prepare the country for Queen Camilla.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 6:53:05 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		There's probably no one kinkier than the British upper classes, so you may be right. I wonder if Camilla gets her latex from the local fetish shop or if she has bespoke fittings in the drawing room at Highgrove?

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 2:25:47 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		FR

Frankly, I think people unrate "vanillas" and "vanilla sex"... it has always included a wide range of things in the bedroom that are now/here called "kinky".  I've also noticed more and more normal everyday things being called "kinky", "fetish", and "alt"... it's getting to the point that if both people don't lay their like dead fish they are considered to be having kinky sex.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 6:37:46 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I appreciate you posting the article, Ven.  I have to admit that I had a bit of skepticism reading it once I hit that part about the definition for the acronym.  (The last time I checked, the 'D' stood for discipline.) 

My issue with it specifically was that it was entirely based on the professional angle.  That really is such a small segment of the kink world.  There wasn't a single mention of how this all applies to those of us who don't engage in financial transactions in the course of WIITWD.  In that aspect, I thought it was a bit slanted.

To the actual 'mainstream' question, as others have said, BDSM is the new black.  I firmly believe that the media is certainly capitalizing in the basic concept that sex sells and anything that makes people think that sex is better, more exciting sex, will generate better revenue.


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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 7:30:09 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		King Edward VIII actually had a well-documented D/s relationship with Wallis Simpson as his femdom, Lucienne. All pretty standard over here. Brassy American femdoms leading us poor innocent Brit males astray, as per usual . . . . Disgraceful state of affairs.

The Daily Telegraph, aka The Daily Torygraph, is a funny old newspaper. It's aimed at the buffers who fought in WW2 and theor 'memsahib' wives who still think the UK runs most of the rest of the world. The standing joke is that the Telegraph is about to start a magazine called "The Young Telegraph" for the under-70s. It's also renowned for publishing pictures of fetchingly-clad women along with what are purported to be 'serious' news stories.

I think that in the UK, at least, D/s - in the form of pro-Dommes and their clients - is about as old as the profession of prostitutism.

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RE: Have We Gone Mainstream? - 12/14/2009 8:04:09 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I tend to find that there's a desire of those in the scene to wish that the scene has gone mainstream, but what they encounter is a much more visual scene that is still held in contempt by most of mainstream society. What has happened is that a few celebrities who make their fame on shock have managed to "crossover" to what looks to be fetish, but in reality they're treated as "celebrities in fetish" by the mainstream so that it's okay that THEY do it, but it still isn't okay for the rest of us if we're discovered in general circles.

I see it kind of like a rationalization that even if I was out partying with Madonna as her personal slave (a wish I will probably never fulfill), Madonna will be considered "okay" for her freakiness, but everyone else would look at me as some kind of freak, even though the same photographs would have showed both of us together.


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