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PeonForHer -> RE: Strength/Weakness: Blowjobs (12/16/2009 11:35:06 AM)
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Correspondingly, from the submissive side of things, I may use my submissive power and my affection for my partner to give her a rip-roaring orgasm, but this doesn't make me dominant and it doesn't make me the leader.
Ironic you should say that, Elan. I generally go with the view that nothing that one does sexually is inherently either dominant or submissive. However, I have a little trouble feeling submissive when being given a BJ by a woman (thoughts of what she could do with her teeth and poor Mr Bobbitt notwithstanding).
On the other hand, I've always felt submissive when giving a woman a BJ. But why should I? She's writhing around, lost in an animalistic orgasmic frenzy, while I'm relatively cool. I go onto an almost 'scientific-experimental' wavelength sometimes - thinking 'I wonder if a flick of the tongue this way or that way will do more for her'. It's very ambivalent for me. At some intellectual level I feel very much in control when I'm gobbling a woman's growler; though, deep down, I wallow in the submissive feelings that I know and love.
It's curious. It strikes me that a lot of what happens in D/s is a great deal about what symbolically feels like being in control, or surrendering to someone's control. But, hey, maybe reality doesn't matter - only symbolism does.
Odd realisation: I never, ever fantasise about being given a BJ by a woman - but I love it when it happens in real life with a partner.
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