To-be-domme reading materials

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Futuresocks -> To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:07:56 AM)
Mistresses, I have a female friend - very dominant in nature - who I am trying to get into domination. My question is, are there some online reading materials that will serve as perfunctory informational guides on getting started in domming? Links would be appreciated.

LadyPact -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:15:10 AM)
The question is, is SHE interested in it? I'm not one much for online references. I'm more the book type. There is a great list here http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm . You can find another book list on MasterFireMaam's signature line.

Futuresocks -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:21:28 AM)
She doesn't know about it, but I want to present it to her in a clever way. No buying books as that's too serious. Just a good, nice beginner's guide.

LadyPact -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:31:24 AM)
So, your idea, not hers. I'm going to wish you the best of luck. Very much the same type of thinking of those who wish to buy their girlfriend a strap on as a gift.

Futuresocks -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:33:50 AM)
I know her and I'm presenting her with what may be to her a new and big thing. It suits her personality. And EVERYONE must have some circumstance that leads them to discovering the lifestyle, right? So why not this one, Ladypact?

LadyPact -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:44:36 AM)
I'm more of the mind that you would get further by just asking her if it's something that she's interested in or not. I'm not saying that your approach couldn't work, though it puts Me in mind of you setting her up.

Futuresocks -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 2:49:16 AM)
I want to introduce her to it, but it would be better and easier if she read about it and got acquianted with it. It's kind of hard (and awkward) for me to describe it all.

Santoro -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:10:19 AM)
If you have clearly defined, your goals for this woman then simply tell her what your goals are. She will have an interest in assisting you in achieving your goals or she will not. If so then submerge yourself in her, if not, move on.

Futuresocks -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:17:19 AM)
Ok, let's try again...I need materials to give her that would allow her to learn comprehensively just what a "domme" is. Better she have some material she can read on her own time that for me to tell it all to her. Apparently, this is difficult for some people, but fuck, it doesn't have to be. A blog post, a good topical article, the art of lifestyle domination...come on!

DarkSteven -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:30:54 AM)
OP, let me clarify what's going on here. There are two parts to being a Domme - the mindset and the activities. You feel that she already has the mindset and simply needs to know how to do the activities. The Dominas here have read tons of posts from male subs stating that they want to turn their vanilla gfs into fully-equipped Dominatrixes and want to know how to do it, and your post echoes those. So your statement about how you know that your friend is already a Domme sounds familiar. The fact that you feel that if she only knew about the lifestyle, she'd take to it right away but yet hasn't done so, sounds fishy. In today's age of the Internet, she HAS heard of it. The only information that you are really providing her is that you are into it. If she's interested in Topping you, that's all she needs to know.

wandersalone -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:32:36 AM)
May I suggest you google it if you are unwilling to listen to people's advice. As suggested previously, talk with her about it first and if she seems interested she can then start finding out information for herself. That is exactly how I found out about bdsm.

Santoro -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:37:48 AM)
“that would allow her to learn comprehensively just what a "domme" is.” What is a domme, even the word domme was coined… and not so very long ago. Perhaps fifteen eighteen years but that is another thread. I can tell you the qualities and characteristics of a female dominant for me and I can assure you it is not the same as it is for others. Once again, tell her what your interests are, I think you offer to guide her to options she may not be aware of is excellent, even if self serving.

LadyPact -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:38:11 AM)
A Domme is exactly who she is. It's not cookie cutter application. Not to mention, Steven is right. BDSM is darn near everywhere through mass media. If she wanted to look into it (and she very well might) it really is just a search engine away.

Futuresocks -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:47:43 AM)
No, I'm not trying to "turn" a girlfriend into a domme. What I WAS trying to do is get perhaps a link or two on general domme introductory material, but I guess it doesn't exist. All this fucking storehouse of kink and power exchange and NO ONE can provide even a general idea for recommended online reading materials? Goddamnit!

DarkSteven -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 3:59:00 AM)
OP, you've been treated courteously here. There's no reason to curse at the ladies here. Are those your typical manners? If you already have a sexual relationship with her, then just ask her in bed what she'd like you to do. It really is that simple. If you don't, then she is not going to instantly start one up with you because you tell her that you want her to Top you. That's a very bad wanker fantasy. Quit approaching her as a Domme. Approach her as a woman. Ask her out, for gosh sake. And learn to LISTEN to what you're told and think about it, instead of demanding that everyone cater to you. What kind of sub does that?

MistressOfGa -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 4:01:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Futuresocks No, I'm not trying to "turn" a girlfriend into a domme. What I WAS trying to do is get perhaps a link or two on general domme introductory material, but I guess it doesn't exist. All this fucking storehouse of kink and power exchange and NO ONE can provide even a general idea for recommended online reading materials? Goddamnit! Calm down. I am a bit confused as to what kind of reading material you are looking for. Is it you want her to learn how to Top you? Or do you want her to learn how to be Dominant? You stated that she is already dominant, so I can only guess at this point you are looking for material on "how to" Hogtie? Rope? Spank? CBT? You want the bedroom activities outlined for her? I am asking reasonable questions so that I may be able to point you to the right reading material. There is much much more to being a Domina than putting on a strap on and swinging a flogger. It IS a mindset. I am in agreement with the others here, if you want to know if she would be interested in Topping (Taking control sexually) you in the bedroom, ask her. How simple is that? If she says yes, then you can lead her to Google and type in bedroom kink, or something to that nature. I haven't googled that, so I cant tell you for certain what will pop up, but it is worth a shot. If you want to submit to her, in all areas of your life, again, ask her if she would be interested in becoming your Mistress. No need to get mad at the people who are trying to figure out what it is that you are looking for. Good luck to you either way. MoGa

Santoro -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 4:08:14 AM)
Future I hear your frustration, you are entitled to it, you are searching for answers but this is the internet, you must recognize the many over exaggerated egos that want to use your search to serve their own agendas and stroke their own egos. Don’t allow them to anger you, they thrive on it.

DarkSteven -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 4:10:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Santoro Future I hear your frustration, you are entitled to it, you are searching for answers but this is the internet, you must recognize the many over exaggerated egos that want to use your search to serve their own agendas and stroke their own egos. Don’t allow them to anger you, they thrive on it. Sounds like Topping from the Top, the way you describe it.

LadyPact -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 4:12:30 AM)
I can promise you that it has nothing to do with My ego, Santoro. I honestly didn't use online resources when I started out. By the time I hit online, I was way past beginner's guides, so I really don't have the information. Books, on the other hand, are an entirely different subject.

MistressOfGa -> RE: To-be-domme reading materials (12/16/2009 4:53:14 AM)
Oh boy, LP I couldnt agree more. My answer to the OP's question had nothing to do with any over exaggerated ego. When I started out a hundred years ago, there was no internet resources. In fact, the first contract that I ever wrote up for a sub was done from a law book template, that had nothing to do with what I wanted, but I used the same format when writing mine up. I had to take a bus downtown to the courthouse, pay a fee to sit in the law library and get a copy of a legal document that look simular to what I was trying to create. There was no instant access to anything and everything. I had to work at getting it. And I won't even talk about the lack of books and such on the subject. Over exaggerated ego my ass. Yes I had an agenda, it was to help the OP. MoGa

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