Wondering About Sharing (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 12:32:21 PM)

There is another thread on the Ask A Master board going on right now about sharing your s type sexually with others.  The thread can be found here http://www.collarchat.com/m_2950561/tm.htm .  The thread is very interesting, but it doesn't address one area in which I am very curious about.  Rather than derail that one, I thought I'd bring My curiosity on the matter here.

For those of you who are willing to share your s types sexually, does the decision to do so ever rely on gender?  In other words, are you willing to share your sub only with males or only with females?  Does the Dominant or submissive role matter to you in who you share your s type with?

In My own case, My answer on sexually sharing does change due to some of the criteria of the person in the scenario.  There are certain activities that I enjoy that can not be accomplished without the presence of another flesh and blood human being.  For instance, strap on play is great and I love it.  However, if I want My s type to perform the same act with the real McCoy, in essence, I'm sharing him sexually with someone else. 

My desire to share him actually ends on that point.  I have a much different way of thinking about it if the person who would be using him would be female, Dominant, or both.  I'm wondering if anyone out there feels the same way or has the same boundaries on the concept of sharing your s type sexually?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 2:18:36 PM)

I would share my s type sexually, but on a VERY selective basis. I don't do the romance thing with my subs, so if he found a girlfriend, of course that would be fine, but in terms of play, it would have to be with someone trusted, and I would have to be there.

Pretty much the same as sharing him for play, except he can play with folks I approve of without my presence.



LadyConstanze -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 3:25:09 PM)

Pretty much what LH said, not gender related but still quite selective and with a D/s play partner it would be different than with a relationship I am romantically involved with.

Doesn't mean it has to be that way for everybody, but that's the way it works for me.



GloriousMorning -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 6:18:54 PM)

I would be willing to share my submissive sexually and for play (selectively!) non gender exclusively, providing that my approval is obtained and we all consent to opening the relationship this way. I'm not interested in sharing my submissive with anyone other than who we agree upon, so I don't give my partner a "free to play" pass. I would need to be involved in the experience, and ultimately have a large amount of control or say in something we are sharing together.

I think a whole lot of communication would be involved for all parties, and with a strong emotional attachment, this arrangement/agreement can bring about some complexities to be considered, some are positive while others may not be. Trust is one of the biggest requirements to introducing this type of dynamic into my relationships.



PeonForHer -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 8:01:38 PM)

I didn't think I could ever do that, but I've changed my mind.  How far it's changed, I don't yet know.  Proof of pudding in eating.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/16/2009 8:05:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

I didn't think I could ever do that, but I've changed my mind.  How far it's changed, I don't yet know.  Proof of pudding in eating.



Some things, you just never know. If you had told me twenty years ago about the stuff I do NOW, I would not have believed it. Or that lots of the stuff I did then would just be meh now.

(mehhhhhhh)



PeonForHer -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 3:29:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL:
(mehhhhhhh)


Watch it.



LadyPact -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 8:42:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
Some things, you just never know. If you had told me twenty years ago about the stuff I do NOW, I would not have believed it. Or that lots of the stuff I did then would just be meh now.

(mehhhhhhh)

That's true for a lot of things for Me as well.  A much too vast subject to even begin.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 8:49:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I would share my s type sexually, but on a VERY selective basis.




And your harem girls?



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 9:30:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I would share my s type sexually, but on a VERY selective basis.




And your harem girls?


My harem girls can pretty much have whatever THEY ask for. And Bearalicious.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 10:39:19 AM)

YAY!

*Starts a list....

... and a pony... and sparkly earrings... and world peace... and a ribbon for my doggie's hair... and a tie dye kit... and mangoes in winter... and a light up globe... and fishnets...(the stocking kind, not the catching fishes kind)... and pickles... and love letters... and a new hat... and to be able to purr... and a good spanking... and slut red lipstick... and ergonomic chair... and last week's television shows that I missed... and.... and... and... did I mention world peace?



persephonee -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 11:07:09 AM)

quote:

In My own case, My answer on sexually sharing does change due to some of the criteria of the person in the scenario.  There are certain activities that I enjoy that can not be accomplished without the presence of another flesh and blood human being.  For instance, strap on play is great and I love it.  However, if I want My s type to perform the same act with the real McCoy, in essence, I'm sharing him sexually with someone else. 

My desire to share him actually ends on that point.  I have a much different way of thinking about it if the person who would be using him would be female, Dominant, or both.  I'm wondering if anyone out there feels the same way or has the same boundaries on the concept of sharing your s type sexually?

 
LP,
 
i am following this thread, but obviously cant answer, as i have no one submissive to me to share with anyone.
 
That said, i am wondering if you could elaborate on what your boundaries are in sharing sexually your s.
 
With what gender and subsequently what role would you share your sub sexually?
 
The reason i ask, is that i am still confused by why gender and role play such a large part for Dominants in general who are willing to sexually share their property, but only selectively. Obviously, the "whys" are completely subjective and unique...but i in particular want to hear what your boundaries are and the motivation behind them if you would care to share.
 
Thank you,[:)]





LadyPact -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 11:28:04 AM)

I'd be happy to, perse.  I will, however, give the fair warning now.  Those who don't want to know or might be offended by reading sexually explicit material should go to another thread.

My interests are a bit unique.  As many people know from these boards, one of My biggest turn ons is m/m cocksucking.  Now, that's a fun activity even when it's just a strap on involved, but I also happen to like the activity when there is a flesh and blood cock involved.  That automatically requires another human being.  Also, because I like power and control, I prefer using male submissives for this.  I don't want any confusion about who's really in charge of the whole thing.

In essense, depending on how it's being looked at, I am technically 'sharing' My submissive with another person.  Minimally, either his mouth as a giver or his cock as a receiver.  While it is him being shared, the part about it that turns Me on really is all about Me.  I have no desires to share him with or loan him out to a female, due to the fact that I have no interest in females.  I'm not one of those 'out of the kindness of My heart' I'll let him serve a female friend.  I'm a little more selfish than that.

During these types of scenes, I absolutely prefer to be the one giving the commands and being the one who is directing the whole thing.  That's why, for Me, two submissives work better than putting another Dominant in the mix.  Well, at least that's My personal experience. 



persephonee -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 11:48:03 AM)

Ooooh....thank you! That cleared it right up for me....(and made me all tingly too, so thanks again!)[:D]



LadyPact -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 12:28:47 PM)

You are quite welcome, perse.  When I started the thread, I was wondering if I view this differently than other Dominants.  Many male Dominants are willing to share their s type with other females, but not males.  I was wondering if this preference transcended gender lines.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 12:32:40 PM)

My "sharing" doesn't have anything to do with gender, really, but with who the other person IS. My sub does not get to play with someone *I* do not consider trustworthy, discreet, okay as a person, that sort of thing.

And Sunnyone, if I give you world peace, will I still get to lust after marines?



LaTigresse -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 12:43:52 PM)

I MIGHT share. Whether or not I would, would depend on a variety of factors. First and foremost, if it was something that the s type was open to aka not going to destroy the trust she had placed in me.

I also think it would only work at a point in which the foundation of our relationship was very very strong. And oddly enough, gender would not be THE deciding factor. Moreso the individual and how much I trusted them.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 12:45:14 PM)

Me and LaT... separated at birth!!! (she got left at Harry Winston, I got left at Bulgari...)



Ladynslave -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 1:19:07 PM)

Knowing that I could not share my slave with another woman, I do have a specific gender that I would be willing to share him with.  As to D/s types, that was his choice and he picked other submissives, knowing that he could not sub for another man.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Wondering About Sharing (12/17/2009 1:36:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'd be happy to, perse.  I will, however, give the fair warning now.  Those who don't want to know or might be offended by reading sexually explicit material should go to another thread.

My interests are a bit unique.  As many people know from these boards, one of My biggest turn ons is m/m cocksucking.  Now, that's a fun activity even when it's just a strap on involved, but I also happen to like the activity when there is a flesh and blood cock involved.  That automatically requires another human being.  Also, because I like power and control, I prefer using male submissives for this.  I don't want any confusion about who's really in charge of the whole thing.

In essense, depending on how it's being looked at, I am technically 'sharing' My submissive with another person.  Minimally, either his mouth as a giver or his cock as a receiver.  While it is him being shared, the part about it that turns Me on really is all about Me.  I have no desires to share him with or loan him out to a female, due to the fact that I have no interest in females.  I'm not one of those 'out of the kindness of My heart' I'll let him serve a female friend.  I'm a little more selfish than that.

During these types of scenes, I absolutely prefer to be the one giving the commands and being the one who is directing the whole thing.  That's why, for Me, two submissives work better than putting another Dominant in the mix.  Well, at least that's My personal experience. 



LadyP, I had no idea.  That actually made me warm up, and I'm not even a Domme.  ~blushing~



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