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RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/18/2009 3:30:31 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i sometimes question the sanity of any woman that would seek out a man to knock her about or the sanity of a man that enjoys it



Above

Troll type fella who has no idea what this lifestyle is about. Comes off as an abusive man who thinks no one who is a slave would ever file a restraining order. WARNING: Steer clear from this type of person. Most likely has a wrap sheet as long as my arm.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/18/2009 3:33:47 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		hmmmm, think so?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/18/2009 3:42:17 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hey everybody... I don't know about the person op, but the post which is the op actually makes sense to me.

One of the things I love about being on this side of things is what is for me a certain simplicity.  I really like that the only thing I have to do is follow orders.  *Of course my personal second rule is always in effect - make sure I am not being harmed emotionally or physically.  That's just (to me) common sense. 

The shut up part... well that's not gonna work over in the land of butterflies and sunshine.

Anyway, there are of course all kinds of caveats in the beginning about choosing and trust and all that, but in the end, the simplicity and the structure of following really appeal to me.  When I trust, and the relationship is good, it is simplicity itself. 

ciao for now.
sunshine

Leave it to you to bring a positive spin. Your name is fitting.

Meanwhile we have the rest of the posters tough talking and beating those chests..Thanks for the laughs. I suppose women can be guilty of chest thumping too..Equal opportunity.




< Message edited by Icarys -- 12/18/2009 3:43:29 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/18/2009 4:11:17 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		That's easy... he isn't insulting men as often as he is women. Thus... the women will respond more. Chest thumping? I don't think so. More like... not taking the shit from the likes of the op.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/19/2009 11:28:55 PM   
sissyshoefetish


Posts: 105
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

#1 show up

#2 shut the fuck up

#3 do as your told



Interesting.

1. 'Show up' is not in any usual list of slaves 'rules'. Maybe you truly have identified where everyone has been going wrong all this time, or on the other hand, if this is something you have often had a problem with - perhaps there are reasons why your subs don't even turn up?

2. Shutting up: naturally slaves should not answer back but as a fundamental rule of slavery this suggests total silence. Do you want any personality in your sub, or just someone, anyone, to abuse?

3. Do what you're told: Yes sir... I am sure this is a fundamental lesson, especially if you are talking about real slaves, as used in the Roman Empire, but in a d/s arrangement perhaps there is a little more scope for individual limits.

Overall as your first two lessons are instructions and your last is a requirement to follow instructions, your three easy lessons can be summarised as

1. Do as you are told.

er..thats it. Not much room there for the needs of the slave eh?

As a submissive the thing that comes to mind is that i still have some choices left even if i am working by rules like yours.
I get to choose:
1. before i accept slavery - and i wouldn't "turn up" for you.
2. to not accept some treatment - we all have limits
3. to leave!





< Message edited by sissyshoefetish -- 12/19/2009 11:58:02 PM >

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/19/2009 11:41:46 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		as i said on another thread this a an alternative sexual site for people to express things that some may not agree with but which should be freely permitted

if anyone has a problem with that maybe they are in the wrong place

(in reply to sissyshoefetish)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:17:19 AM   
sissyshoefetish


Posts: 105
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

any woman that doesnt want to be a slave is a pervert '


Oh so that means the majority of women are perverts? wow! Why is it then that most of the ones in the real world seem not to be?

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:21:35 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

#1 show up
#2 shut the fuck up
#3 do as your told

aaaand... back to the OP!
I actually did all of the above in a recently failed relationship.
Wanna guess where it broke down?
Those who picked #2 get 50 bonus points. 


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:25:30 AM   
sissyshoefetish


Posts: 105
Joined: 5/6/2008
Status: offline 		i disagree with your post - so i am in the right place (on several levels)
i did not say you should not be allowed to post - so i am in the right place
Regarding knowing your place, i note that you are postng in the "ask a sub" forum but not doing much asking.

i am fully supportive of the diversity of members on these forums.. i therefore apologise for not realising you were cognitively impaired and i shall do my best to avoid taxng you too much in this area ;-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

as i said on another thread this a an alternative sexual site for people to express things that some may not agree with but which should be freely permitted

if anyone has a problem with that maybe they are in the wrong place


(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:30:03 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

quote:

#1 show up
#2 shut the fuck up
#3 do as your told

aaaand... back to the OP!
I actually did all of the above in a recently failed relationship.
Wanna guess where it broke down?
Those who picked #2 get 50 bonus points. 



1. Well hey showing up is half the job (in this case 33.33 %)
 
2. Nothing wrong with being verbal.
 
3. I guessed 2 so I will take my points in boobage please. Do as you're told.
 

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:35:50 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		im a sadistic bastard dominant i freely admit it

there is only one person that understood what was meant all the rest took umbrage and ran with it

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 12:43:23 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

1. Well hey showing up is half the job (in this case 33.33 %)  
2. Nothing wrong with being verbal.
3. I guessed 2 so I will take my points in boobage please. Do as you're told.

Yes, Sir  *smooches Ebony*


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 2:14:19 AM   
lobodomslavery


Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
Status: offline 		That s why i would never wish to serve a Man. Women are far gentler plus no attraction obviously to men for me as heterosexual male
Kevin

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 2:53:36 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

im a sadistic bastard dominant i freely admit it

there is only one person that understood what was meant all the rest took umbrage and ran with it


Hello osf,
Being the one who "understood", perhaps I may expand a bit.

While I understand the *let me use the term here* zen of what you are saying, the manner in which you have said it may be a bit less understandable.

Yes, showing up as I've said is about being present - emotionally, physically, intellectually.
And shutting up - as pointed out above by shoefetish surely is about not arguing, about listening and integrating good advice.
Third, doing as told - once a trusting relationship is established.

I back this up.  It makes perfectly good sense to me.

And I believe that others have read my words (as opposed to yours in this instance) because you came here, with a history of offending people, saying you hate women, you want to abuse women.  You have no credibility because of your method of interacting.  I don't know whether you were being facetious when you wrote those other things, but if so, it did not go over well.  People have long memories on CM.  I have seen you write other, helpful posts on other threads.  It makes me wonder what the deal is with your - truly. 

I think your point is a good one.  Simplicity.  I've stated that I love the simplicity of this kind of relationship.  And that is true.  I think the topic is a good one - how does WIITWD affect your life - does it make it more complex or simpler?  How?  That is something we could wrap our thoughts around. 

I, for one, would like to see that conversation take place ... the op notwithstanding.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 5:48:54 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		simpler, hell no

more complex, only if we make it complex

we have many more traits that we have to balance out in a potential partner and most often we in this start out on the wrong foot by by stressing those traits that will soon doom any budding relationship, the physical other person and love should be at the bottom of the list

as we grow up with no role models on how a d/s relationships works , when we start out after awakening so to say we are no better than teens beginning to date and discover life

few seem to realize we have to go through a similar dating and discovery process to find where our place is and what traits we should seek in a partner

i keep telling newly awakened subbies to play the field and not get serious about a partner you may have to blow a lot of frogs to find your prince

it cant be read about, it cant be found in all the knowledge on line, it cant be found by talking to all the subbies in the universe

for what she seeks is what it feels like to be in thrall to a suitable partner and you can only learn about feelings by experiencing them

for doms its a different process but no less time consuming maybe even more time consuming

my 2 cents



< Message edited by osf -- 12/20/2009 5:50:00 AM >

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 6:48:02 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello osf,

simpler, hell no

more complex, only if we make it complex

we have many more traits that we have to balance out in a potential partner and most often we in this start out on the wrong foot by by stressing those traits that will soon doom any budding relationship, the physical other person and love should be at the bottom of the list

You know I kind of agree with this.  I used to have "hard limits" but realized that they were only hard limits because I was afraid to face something.  In the right environment I could and would face them.  I thought it also set me up for people to avoid me if for example I hated tickling (I do, btw).  But what if the perfect-for-me dominant loves tickling?  Would I be willing to give that up, that hard limit?  Yes.  I definitely would.  To put out in the forefront what is our "perfect" relationship can "doom" the real relationship, to use your term.  This does not mean, don't know what you like.  But it does mean realize what is and is not truly important.  *Here we are, back to SIMPLICITY.

as we grow up with no role models on how a d/s relationships works , when we start out after awakening so to say we are no better than teens beginning to date and discover life

few seem to realize we have to go through a similar dating and discovery process to find where our place is and what traits we should seek in a partner

I'm not sure I agree with this.  Even though I am into kink, what I'm looking for is not really that much different than what I was looking for before - humor, calm, belonging, a person with his life well managed, a partner, someone I can talk to.  We add the kink, the D/s... not really that different from the 'nilla relationships I've had.  Maybe I just chose more assertive men? 

i keep telling newly awakened subbies to play the field and not get serious about a partner you may have to blow a lot of frogs to find your prince

That is true!  We need to certainly encourage new folks (of all stripes) to learn the norms of their new culture and to express themselves within that new context... and to find out what works for them

it cant be read about, it cant be found in all the knowledge on line, it cant be found by talking to all the subbies in the universe

for what she seeks is what it feels like to be in thrall to a suitable partner and you can only learn about feelings by experiencing them

I think that the end point is true in this scenario.  However, I think learning, reading, discussing can all be a part of awakening a person.  How do you know a suitable partner if you don't know that you don't know... and you don't know that there are questions to ask let alone which ones.

for doms its a different process but no less time consuming maybe even more time consuming

I imagine that in the "sensitive new age guy" society we live in, learning to strip off those diplomatic, play nice attitudes is part of what a D type has to handle.  But really... we all go through that.  Could you perhaps talk a bit about the process from that side of things?

my 2 cents

Mine too... three more people, and we will have a dime... maybe worth a cup of coffee somewhere!

best,
sunshine





_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 9:25:20 PM   
MostSynfulSmyle


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

  i can feel the love

And using both your hands makes it a threesome

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/20/2009 9:47:16 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OrionTheWolf
I was aksed once how to find a slave. My response was "be a person that others will follow, that you are strong in deed and thought, and that you have the ability to understand human nature. Then those that have a submissive personality will be drawn to you."
An interesting point Orion. Carol and I met long, long before we knew anything about D/s. We had no words for the thing. We didn't even really have thoughts about it. But still, it is exactly those qualities that drew Carol to me. She would not have said I was "dominant", but she always said she liked that i was assertive, capable, and empathic.

I strongly suspect that I, in turn, was attracted by her submissiveness though I wouldn't have had that concept in my head at the time. Ever since I collared her a few years ago, I've been pondering this and I am convinced that without the words or concepts, it is still true that my dominance and her submission were a significant part of the chemistry.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to OrionTheWolf)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/21/2009 7:45:57 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

as we grow up with no role models on how a d/s relationships works , when we start out after awakening so to say we are no better than teens beginning to date and discover life

few seem to realize we have to go through a similar dating and discovery process to find where our place is and what traits we should seek in a partner

I'm not sure I agree with this. Even though I am into kink, what I'm looking for is not really that much different than what I was looking for before - humor, calm, belonging, a person with his life well managed, a partner, someone I can talk to. We add the kink, the D/s... not really that different from the 'nilla relationships I've had. Maybe I just chose more assertive men?

((( so you find humor, caring belonging etc. and his commitment to kink doesn’t match yours the relationship will eventually sour because you put the cart before the horse. You come here to find someone whose kink you enjoy that should be your priority with the fluffy things second)))

i keep telling newly awakened subbies to play the field and not get serious about a partner you may have to blow a lot of frogs to find your prince

That is true! We need to certainly encourage new folks (of all stripes) to learn the norms of their new culture and to express themselves within that new context... and to find out what works for them

it cant be read about, it cant be found in all the knowledge on line, it cant be found by talking to all the subbies in the universe

for what she seeks is what it feels like to be in thrall to a suitable partner and you can only learn about feelings by experiencing them

((( let me clarify taking advice from other subbies on what she should be and enjoy, the beginning of my awakening was the story of O )))

I think that the end point is true in this scenario. However, I think learning, reading, discussing can all be a part of awakening a person. How do you know a suitable partner if you don't know that you don't know... and you don't know that there are questions to ask let alone which ones.

for doms its a different process but no less time consuming maybe even more time consuming

I imagine that in the "sensitive new age guy" society we live in, learning to strip off those diplomatic, play nice attitudes is part of what a D type has to handle. But really... we all go through that. Could you perhaps talk a bit about the process from that side of things?

((( explain your concept sensitive new age guy)))

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: how to be a slave in three easy lessons - 12/21/2009 8:19:14 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I'm using "SNAG" as a guy who follows all the societal rules, doesn't allow the inner beast in him to be expressed... not politically correct, but ... *shrug.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 160
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