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lanette -> Kink or Fetish (9/4/2004 12:43:32 AM)
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When we think “Fetish”, we think “Kink”. I was even guilty of that for quite sometime. Then I set about a search to define Fetish and you guessed it, the first stop was Merriam – Webster. Fetish is a noun, and while there are a few definitions, the one that applies, states “c : an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression”. Now here is the rub. “an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression”. I used to say that there was nothing that could interfere with my complete sexual expression, as it turns out, there is.
I practice a lifestyle which is unfortunately labeled “D/s lifestyle”. The term lifestyle has no universal definition in a D/s context. Lifestyle may be a statement of sexual preference or of sexual politics. A more parochial definition of lifestyle D/s is used to describe permanent partners for whom the power dynamic is an ever present reality in all areas of their relationship. Having gotten out of a “less than D/s” relationship, I was all the more aware that I do need that dynamic. In fact, I was acutely aware that I couldn’t be in a relationship without it. The question became, to what extent? Now, by the definition, D/s is a fetish for me, and yet, I do not consider myself overtly “kinky”. However, I will mention at this juncture, that I am a firm believer that “Kinky” is a subjective term.
I've learned a few things in my last relationship. First, D/s can exist without whips and floggers and without donning the leather pants or vest for the weekly munches. It can simply be the dynamic that someone brings to a relationship. D/s is by "my" definition, a way of living in which a man and woman, utilize traditional ways of living. He is the head of household and decision maker for them and her being the helpmate to Him. In essence, being his right hand, while never forgetting who has the final say.. While it may not be overly “kinky” it is a Fetish.
So, what's it for you? Kink, Fetish or both?
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