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Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 7:06:38 AM

atUrMercy

Posts: 25
Joined: 10/26/2005
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Greetings Ma'ams,
This isn't a question, but I just want to share my life with you and seek your opinion. I will try to be short and try to not bore you. Thanks.

I have liked the idea of submitting to women since I was very, very young. But during my teenage years, I thought it was an unmanly thing to do, and so consciously blocked out the more extreme situations from my fantasies, like foot worship. I still liked the idea of women taking charge in bed. But then I hurt my back bad, and since then I am not that sexually aggressive. Simultaneously, I started to get back those thoughts of no-holds-barred submission to women. And this time, I didn't see anything wrong with it, because I couldn't be sexually aggressive any way.

Ma'ams, I want to ask you, have you seen this in your other slaves? I know that a lot of you like it when a strong, alpha-male submits to you. But my personal experience tells me, as I have shared with you, that many males might not want to submit when they are strong, but they will submit when they are weak. What's your opinion Ma'ams?

Thanks to all the Ma'ams for their time.

Post #: 1

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 7:55:48 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
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I hold the view that submission is an act of strength, not an act of weakness. A person must be strong and vibrant in his own sense of self and purpose before he can give himself over to another.

No many Ladies in this culture that will take on someone who they perceive as weak in character, mind, or spirit.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to atUrMercy)

Post #: 2

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 10:08:42 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

It sounds like you are still trying to justify how you feel. One is not submissive because they hurt something and are weak in that area and use that as a format to build any aspect of submission on. (Your back story) You may have had submissive tendencies most your life and life, people showed you that it was wrong to feel that way and then you had to explain yourself to yourself as if you were doing something wrong and had to find good reason for justification.

Stop with the justification of your self. Go with understanding that dominance and submission are a part of human nature. Now... in kinky things... they may be a result of one's nature and sexual and emotional pleasure. Anything done out of balance can be a problem and the same with dominance, submission or kink. If something out of balance causes you problems in life... you might consider working on that. But if you are simply dominant or submissive in nature and are kinky and are not having difficulties that get into unhealthy... you should be able to stop finding justification and accept who you naturally are or came to be in life. You will find far more peace in your walk in life if you aren't always trying to find a problem, justify the answer and can truly be who you are without the struggle.

Trying to live a stereotype is hell... I don't recommend it.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 3

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 10:32:14 AM

onlyme32111

Posts: 25
Joined: 5/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: atUrMercy

Greetings Ma'ams,
This isn't a question, but I just want to share my life with you and seek your opinion. I will try to be short and try to not bore you. Thanks.

I have liked the idea of submitting to women since I was very, very young. But during my teenage years, I thought it was an unmanly thing to do, and so consciously blocked out the more extreme situations from my fantasies, like foot worship. I still liked the idea of women taking charge in bed. But then I hurt my back bad, and since then I am not that sexually aggressive. Simultaneously, I started to get back those thoughts of no-holds-barred submission to women. And this time, I didn't see anything wrong with it, because I couldn't be sexually aggressive any way.

Ma'ams, I want to ask you, have you seen this in your other slaves? I know that a lot of you like it when a strong, alpha-male submits to you. But my personal experience tells me, as I have shared with you, that many males might not want to submit when they are strong, but they will submit when they are weak. What's your opinion Ma'ams?

Thanks to all the Ma'ams for their time.

Only if they submit when they don't really want to are they weak. That's called a push over and it can be applied to females and males. Submission for men is a sign of strength because they're doing what's in their nature regardless of what outsiders say. Submission for females isn't as much a big step since they've been playing the submissive for many years, or they've been forced in the submissive role. Whatever the case, it's more taboo for the man to declare submission to the outside world and when he does he's showing his strength by doing what he wants not minding what others think. Anytime you do what you want without worries it's a sign of strength.

(in reply to atUrMercy)

Post #: 4

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 11:00:53 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Oddly enough, I don't see My submissive as weak at all. In some areas, I think he's stronger than I am.

From what you've written here, OP, I have to agree very much with Lockit. It seems that in your 'weaker' state, only now are you able to accept your submission. Something that you couldn't do when you perceived yourself as 'strong' as in prior to your back injury. That is an inner struggle that you may want to resolve and explore why you had it in the first place.

Also, I want you to know that inner struggle with who we are isn't necessarily something that only happens with one gender or even just one side of the kneel. Quite frankly some sadist (please note that I'm saying some, not all) go through something similar, as do many other labels attached to WIITWD. I'd say that acceptance of who we are is a challenge for many of us from different sources. So, at least you're in good company.

_____________________________

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to onlyme32111)

Post #: 5

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 11:11:33 AM

Lockit

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Ahhh Lady Pact (thank you LP) has said something I feel I should elaborate on, pertaining to my own situation. I know I am not alone... maybe other's saw it differently or it came about differently, but it is similar. I questioned many things in my walk of life. I worked against domestic abuse and what I now know as faulty dominance and submission. The submission or dominance that comes from life wounds and failure to address them.

Dominance was a dirty word to me... a trigger word I would reject in an instant. So when I started reading, mostly about dominant men in relationships of D/s or bdsm... oh boy... I saw myself and the struggle was on! lol I made mince meat out of it in short order because I was okay with who I was in general and my dominance I didn't see as dominance really, but more leadership qualities and strengths. But... when I stepped out of that fair is fair... vanilla setting and saw the devotion of a submissive on his knee's... I was forever changed! lol

Dominance or submission doesn't have to be ugly... like some have made it and as I once did. It can be very natural and beautiful. Once I saw the beauty there... between two people, I could never turn back, though I am tempted from time to time when I get certain emails or see certain things in people... but no... I am dominant and kinky and that is a comfortable place for me now.

Just think of yourself as evolving... learning and growing. Being true to who you are is what matters and that is where you will find your peace and joy.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 6

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 11:57:15 AM

IBused

Posts: 93
Joined: 10/4/2009
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it makes my knees weak....after being drained....does that count?

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 7

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 2:32:59 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Ma'ams, I want to ask you, have you seen this in your other slaves? I know that a lot of you like it when a strong, alpha-male submits to you. But my personal experience tells me, as I have shared with you, that many males might not want to submit when they are strong, but they will submit when they are weak. What's your opinion Ma'ams?

I'm not a Ma'am, but a Lady. Regardless, I figure I can chime in ;-)

That has not been my experience at all. I find that boys serve me the best when they are at their strongest. Perhaps this has a lot to do with the type of submission that I like.

If I think of my boy as my bodyguard, he has to be strong and alert to protect me and keep me safe.
If I think of my boy as my assistant, he needs to be sharp, alert, on his toes to follow my lead and support me.
If I think of my boy as my masochist, he needs to be able to take what I need to unleash as a sadist.
If I think of my boy as my lover, he needs to be top shape to fulfill all my urges, whims and needs.

For me, a week boy would never do.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to atUrMercy)

Post #: 8

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 4:32:04 PM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

OP:
It takes a strong man to surrender..I don't think I MADE
some strong man submit so I" like" it..

He decided after careful consideration..of US.
I like it that 2 strong personalities have come together in a strong D-s relationship..complimenting each other...balancing......enhancing lives.

An injury does not make one "weak"...there are strong DOM/mes and subs on here in wheelchairs..without limbs..etc

GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 12/19/2009 4:35:16 PM >

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 9

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 6:13:58 PM

Politesub53

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

For me, a week boy would never do.

- LA

Too long, or not long enough Lady A ?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 10

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 6:19:32 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

For me, a week boy would never do.

- LA

Too long, or not long enough Lady A ?

Merde!! Don't pick on the French Lady!

Seriously, too short! ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 11

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 6:21:00 PM

Lockit

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LOL... Something tells me Polite is really workin on something tonight!

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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Post #: 12

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 6:23:52 PM

Politesub53

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... Something tells me Polite is really workin on something tonight!

Indeed ma`am, and looking at my clock it should be beauty sleep.....Cos boy do I need it....

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 13

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/19/2009 6:26:28 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... Something tells me Polite is really workin on something tonight!

Indeed ma`am, and looking at my clock it should be beauty sleep.....Cos boy do I need it....

I have half a mind to have you kidnapped and dropped off on Lockit's doorstep ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 14

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/20/2009 12:49:13 PM

Politesub53

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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Heads up Lockit ! LadyA is thinking of getting you a new dishwasher.....lol

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 15

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/20/2009 2:31:06 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Heads up Lockit ! LadyA is thinking of getting you a new dishwasher.....lol

Wow! A dishwasher!! Damn... wait, is it rude to want to get her a gift but then keep it for myself? Ha ha ha!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 16

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/22/2009 10:57:30 PM

atUrMercy

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Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for the replies everyone. I learned something from you, and realized that it's ultimately good for both the sub and the domme , to have a healthy relationship full of life, instead of being negative.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 17

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/23/2009 4:50:17 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I don't think gender has anything to do with submission at all. I believe since you hurt your back it is your natural instinct to protect it (we all would really)so this may account for your lack of sexual aggression.

Submission comes from within and is inspired by someone else. No I don't think a person feels submissive all the time, especially when they are injured and males are conditioned (usually) from a young age to hide their feelings/pain. So usually when they feel vulnerable is when they hide their feelings and pull away. This would effect their submission to a degree.

My male submits all the time because he gives into my authority over him. Even when he is sick, he may fuss about me taking care of him, BUT if I tell him to shaddup and eat his soup he does so.

That's just how we roll.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to atUrMercy)

Post #: 18

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/28/2009 10:01:40 AM

seekingOwnertoo

Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
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i myself am a very strong, confident man. A man who overcomes adversity and strives for accomplishment. Yet when i meet a Lady i respect and admire ... i melt ... and i want to please Her, worship Her, adore Her.

That is not weakness ... it is becoming enraptured or even in love! And when you fall for an intelligent accomplished Lady ... you actually are strong ... you are admiting you are concerned with the Lady's inner self ... and that is a relationship at it's best!

i know you didn't ask for my opinion ... but you ask a question that i cannot resist responding too!

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 19

RE: Do men submit when they are weak? - 12/29/2009 1:10:23 AM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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As someone who goes both ways, I will simply comment that it takes much more personal strength (mental, emotional and physical) for me to submit than it does for Me to Dominate. It's a lot harder to yield to someone else's will than to have that will yourself and expect someone else to do the yielding! Perhaps it's a bit harder for my sub side because I also have a strong Domme side ... but talking to friends who are "sub-only subs" ... I don't think it makes THAT much difference! To see yourself as submissive because you have a physical impediment makes no sense to Me. If anything, My own physical impediments (bad back, knees on their way out) are more of a barrier to my serving than they are to My Dominating! I can freely work around them as a Domme, whereas there are things i would love to do as Master's sub/slave (eg kneeling to Him) that i simply cannot. Last time i got down on the floor He needed a crane to get me back up again LOL! Lacking such an implement, i had to crawl to the lounge and clamber in a very ungainly way up the furniture with His assistance. i am under strict orders not to repeat that little exercise, if anything else is to be retrieved from the floor, He is the One doing the kneeling!

In summary, weakness does NOT equate to submissiveness in M/my book!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)

Post #: 20

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