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Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 2:21:05 PM   
lobodomslavery


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I have a question Ladies. I was at a munch last Saturday and I met a nice Lady. In the course of conversation I told Her I was sub. I then asked Her what Her orientation was because She was going on about You must come to Nimheach (Irish Fetish scene) it s great craic blah blah blah, but anyway I asked Her the question because She was interested in me and She avoids the question completely and does not answer it. its like I told Her my orientation, why does Woman have problem with telling male Her orientation, I mean its not a personal question or is it, I mean it would be worse if I asked Her was She married etc, that s totally Her private live and Her private life is none of my business but BDSM orientation is very much important for sub to know dont you think. Please give your opinions on this Ladies. Earlier this evening I asked a Lady would She be my friend online on this site and She basically told me to shut the fuck up Why should She etc, what im getting is a lot of attitude and its not nice, Why are Women so hard and harsh or and indifferent and ignore male enquiry
Kevin
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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 2:25:21 PM   
LadyAngelika


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Without witnessing the whole situation, I can only come to 2 conclusions of why this woman did this:

1) She found you extremely annoying and she didn't know how to deal with you
2) She doesn't have manners

Either way, I think the situation has little to do with the fact that you are submissive and she is dominant and more to do with the fact that some people just rub each other the wrong way.

Personally, I try to be reasonably pleasant to everyone I meet. The only time I ignore (in any situations) someone is because they have over stepped their boundaries. Usually, I calmly tell them why they are being ignored.

- LA

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 2:30:34 PM   
lobodomslavery


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i only asked one question i was very respectful. i listened to Her , she asked me questions i answered them, i dont see why She could suddenly have a problem with me
kevin

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 2:35:47 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i only asked one question i was very respectful. i listened to Her , she asked me questions i answered them, i dont see why She could suddenly have a problem with me
kevin



If you don't see why, no one else on this board will be able to neither, unless they witnessed this. I would recommend that you just chalk it up to lack of interest/chemistry and move on.

If you were truly respectful and she treated you this way, then she isn't worth your time. Just because she considers herself to be a Domina doesn't mean she really is a classy, strong woman worthy of your submission.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:30:26 PM   
Underumam


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Well Kevin, at least you weeded her ass out long before you wasted too much time/energy.....Be happy, it doesn't sound like you......

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:32:10 PM   
QueenRah


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OP - It could be she suddenly became shy about talking about her orientation. Could be she felt you overstepped a boundary and simply felt the best way to deal with you was to shut you out. Could be she realized she was in the presence of someone two cards short. Could be she's two cards short. Could be you ask her, if you have access to her phone or email or via online group of which you're both members. Consider taking on the onus of the failed in-person communication, ask her if she'd be willing to speak or im with you, and ask her what you could have done on your part to reach a more positive outcome.

It's worth a shot, no?

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:35:26 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Well maybe. She told me She had a partner and though i made it clear i would be only a servant for Her and nothing else if anything developed She might have thought i was a threat to Her relationship but  i dont know , She seemed friendly enough to me when i was leaving wishing me a Happy christmas i wished Her one too
Kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:38:50 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Well maybe. She told me She had a partner and though i made it clear i would be only a servant for Her and nothing else if anything developed She might have thought i was a threat to Her relationship but  i dont know , She seemed friendly enough to me when i was leaving wishing me a Happy christmas i wished Her one too
Kevin



Could you see how saying you could be a servant for someone (you bringing it up, not her) to someone you barely know might be considered pretentious and inappropriate conversation?  You need to work on some skills to read people and their discomfort levels. You also need to get a book on manners and etiquette. Don't talk to women about your potential sexual/sensual/S&M roles in their life unless they bring it up first.  All the chatter she was giving about good places to go was possibly an attempt to politely change the subject and you did not get the hint.

Akasha


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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:39:56 PM   
QueenRah


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Is she actively seeking another for her household and did she tell you, personally, making you think you could be under consideration?

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:41:23 PM   
lobodomslavery


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i know i have to work on my social skills but im still very young and inexperienced in this lifestyle and i only learn by making mistakes in the first place, i m sure everyone was at my stage at some time,  i go to the munches to practice my social skills as i have no other social networks
kevin

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:42:22 PM   
lobodomslavery


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She did not mention anything . i only said that i would like to serve someone but did not specify Her specifically.
kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:43:45 PM   
AAkasha


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

She did not mention anything . i only said that i would like to serve someone but did not specify Her specifically.
kevin



Simple rule: Don't ever bring any of this stuff up, EVER, when chatting with a lady unless she brings it up.  And what you said here doesn't match what you said two posts earlier, you are now changing your story.

There are a lot of guys at munches that are creepy and clingy. Don't be that guy.

Akasha


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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:45:03 PM   
Lockit


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Kevin... you never tell the whole story and then ask us what we think. Seriously, if you want a complete answer you need to give the whole story... not... I just asked a question.. told her I was submissive and asked her what her orientation was.

Dude... you knew she had someone and yet you still had to ask and offer? There's the answer. Need a sign? (And that is from the domina who most tried to understand, assist and befriend you around here, in the beginning.)

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:49:10 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Well earlier in the evening i made myself quite anonymous i did not get involved and gave the Ladies space,. i acted very shy, the Ladies did not seem to like this, one asked me was i feeling ok and put Her arm around me. i did nothing at the time. the Lady went to the loo and came back out a little while later. Sure enough it was the same Lady that put an arm around me, i took this to be that She was interested in me and we started talking i told Her i was sub , i asked Her Her orientation and She said nothing and refused to answer thats what confused me. But it seems to me that the Lady felt sorry for me initially more than anything else when i was shy and then when i become forward She becomes uncomfortable. i jus t could not win
kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:50:37 PM   
lobodomslavery


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no no She volunteered this information Lockit and i merely said to Her that if anything developed i would only be a servant nothing else to Her. But i didnt try to coerce Her in any way
kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:53:21 PM   
Lockit


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Because someone talks to you or even tries to make you feel welcome by putting an arm around you... doesn't mean a hook up or that she welcomes a hook up. Telling her what you could be to her was a bit premature. Take it easy...

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:54:29 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Well i will be shyer in future. it got me more attention if nothing else.
kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 3:58:05 PM   
lobodomslavery


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So are you saying that a lot of guys who are clingy and creepy could be demonstrating low self esteem which is a turn off to Dommes and Women. no Woman wants a sub with self pity issues after all
kevin

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 4:00:31 PM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Well i will be shyer in future. it got me more attention if nothing else.
kevin



I'm getting a little background that I didn't have when I initially responded to your post. Honestly, I would say that you don't need to be shyer. You just need to show a little more decorum and be a little more reserved.

As Akasha said, "don't be that guy".
As Lockit said, "take it easy".

Try getting noticed for good behaviour. Work on your gentlemen skills.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: Why do Women blank male subs in real life - 12/19/2009 4:07:01 PM   
lobodomslavery


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Thanks Lady Angelika i have taken this on board
good night
kevin

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