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thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/19/2009 9:36:42 PM

kTez8

Posts: 14
Joined: 12/1/2009
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I decided to post, in hopes of getting different viewpoints and fostering discussion.

I'm not what you would call very experienced, but I do like to think about what it means to be a male sub, and why I enjoy at least the idea of it. To me, being a sub means a chance to relax and having a chance to make someone else happy. I do not believe in one gender being superior to the other. I am a bit put off at the suggestion that females are superior to males, or vice versa

. I find being a sub is at its heart a selfish proposition, I am a sub because I want to be one, I don't find some kind of true calling or that i am fulfilling the natural order of things, I just do it because i like it(or the domme i like, likes it). Then again, if a domme likes what she likes, its give and take just like any other relationship.

Maybe I don't make sense, but what do you think? lookin to learn

oh and if i offended anyone sorry, i didnt mean to

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/19/2009 11:21:52 PM

UrMyboi

Posts: 49
Joined: 11/14/2009
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You want to relax and have the chance to make someone else happy. The idea of being a sub appeals to you. Sounds like a good reason to explore. Read the boards, and ask questions, it's a great way to learn. Welcome to CM, you are going to find some of the nicest people here.

< Message edited by UrMyboi -- 12/19/2009 11:26:12 PM >

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/20/2009 3:53:08 AM

sunshinemiss

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Sounds like you are right on the money KTEZ... have fun!

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/20/2009 7:03:19 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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Honestly, I'd be shocked if you somehow offended someone by stating why it is YOU want to be a submissive.

As for me, I'm a submissive because I've never wanted to be anything else. In all relationships I have with partners, I'm always submissive. I love doing things for others and being someone who can be counted on in both a crunch and in good times as well.

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/20/2009 12:09:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I agree with littlesarbonn. If you are getting in touch with why you feel that you would be happy and content as a submissive, that's a wonderful bit of self exploration that you're doing there. Also, it puts you ahead because there are a number of Dommes out there who really do want an answer when they ask someone why they want to follow that path.

As an aside, I happen to like your particular description. Thank you for sharing it.

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/20/2009 2:11:34 PM

PeonForHer

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I just do it because i like it(or the domme i like, likes it).

I don't see how you can ever go far wrong with that as the basis of your view of D/s, Ktez8.

For me, being a sub is a mass of contradictions - and contradictions that I'm perfectly happy to accommodate. ('Be contradictory and be proud of it!' - one of my favourite mottos). Excellent example: you see your submissiveness as being selfish. In my humble opinion: quite right. I do, too, regarding my own. But precisely because you realise that your submissive tendencies are selfish, I'll bet you're not, actually, selfish in relationships.

Anyway, I have a feeling you'll do fine.

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/25/2009 11:10:40 PM

MaamJay

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Joined: 9/2/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kTez8

I decided to post, in hopes of getting different viewpoints and fostering discussion.

I'm not what you would call very experienced, but I do like to think about what it means to be a male sub, and why I enjoy at least the idea of it. To me, being a sub means a chance to relax and having a chance to make someone else happy.

Terrific, that's what I want from a sub.

I do not believe in one gender being superior to the other. I am a bit put off at the suggestion that females are superior to males, or vice versa .

Me too! I don't want to be on that sort of a pedestal as the only way down is to fall off! Besides, it would be hypocritical for the Domme side of Me to believe I am superior ... when the sub side of me happily submits to Master!

I find being a sub is at its heart a selfish proposition, I am a sub because I want to be one, I don't find some kind of true calling or that i am fulfilling the natural order of things, I just do it because i like it(or the domme i like, likes it).

Yes it is to a point. Not sure it would last if a sub didn't like it at least most of the time. So they are getting their wants and needs met by subbing. What a sub needs to be careful about is that they do not become selfish about WHAT they do and WHEN they will do it. Has to be on the Domme's orders and timetable, not their own. Subs don't get to call the shots or turn up with a long list of things the Domme "should" and "shouldn't" do. Yes there is room for discussion and negotiation, but the decisions rest with the Domme for it to be submission. And at least at times, the sub should be prepared to do things they don't particularly like (but which both parties agree are not beyond limits or harmful) because the Domme wants them to do it. The sub's desire to please should override dislike.

Then again, if a domme likes what she likes, its give and take just like any other relationship.

Agree wholeheartedly. A Domme gives a lot to Her sub just as he gives to Her ... they are giving different things.

Maybe I don't make sense, but what do you think? lookin to learn

oh and if i offended anyone sorry, i didnt mean to

No offence taken here! Good to see a relatively inexperienced sub exploring at a deeper level.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

< Message edited by MaamJay -- 12/25/2009 11:15:18 PM >

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RE: thoughts on being a sub, what do you think? - 12/25/2009 11:23:21 PM

pyroaquatic

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Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
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My thoughts?

1.) Collarme is not the only solution.

2.) Be yourself. You! If you are trying to be you, you are doing it wrong.

I agree with the other peeps (hay peeps), you are pretty freaking close to it.

So be open, be sensitive, be ready. Your lady is waiting.

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