RE: Bettering yourself for others

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LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:08:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 ETA: Methinks it may be bedtime. I'm a good six or seven hours past the 24 hours awake mark, and I have a hangover. Just to be clear, are you claiming cocaine or sleep-deprivation as your alibi? When newbie Doms that make fool of themselves on threads realise they have made fools of themselves, they usually make up a plausible excuse for their bad behaviour. Then they try to work the pity angle! - LA

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:16:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 quote: Actually, I'm a switch, I just don't meet many people who inspire submission from me. I can see everything from both points of view. It just means you don't wake up in the morning thinking "I wish someone would tell me what to do with my life." And you don't seek those people out. And no, you can't see from both points of view. If that were true, you'd never have asked the question you asked. Please, stop assuming you know me before it gets annoying. You're absolutely wrong on both things that are quoted above, and you've made these assumptions based on the very little information I have on my profile. I made the assumption that you are a dominant because that is what is in your profile. If I'm wrong, it's because you are supplying others with misleading and incorrect facts, which means you're either a liar or an idiot. All I've done is assume you are honest and not a liar or an idiot. But I acknowledge my assumptions about you could be wrong. That you can't see from the other perspective is self-evident from your question. People do not ask others to explain what is clearly evident to them, and if you understood the other perspective that explanation would have been clearly evident. Then I guess I'm a liar, along with many other people who have multiple profiles, or chose to not share personal information on the website. My only comment to you is go fuck yourself.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:17:35 PM)
quote: Not from you I won't. People like you -- passive-aggressive clique joiners who hide their lack of reasoning facilities behind tired witticisms and rely entirely on consensus truth and superior numbers to badger those with differing opinions into silence. It's all there in your language, like this claim that I should be "entertaining" and your little call-and-response song and dance with LadyA. It's the soft threat of social ostracism. It's the only weapon of sheep, of the herd. Hun, it's called a reality check. You joined collarme.com all of 6 days ago and have been posting absolute truths all over this place, even comparing yourself to God on one of your posts while you are a self-admitted newbie. We are just trying to take you down a notch or two back to reality. We are generally a very accepting bunch, believe me. I've been a member here for over 5.5 yrs and I can guarantee you that if you treat people with respect, you'll get the same back. Now get some sleep. We'll wipe the slate clean and give you another chance tomorrow. - LA

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:18:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 ETA: Methinks it may be bedtime. I'm a good six or seven hours past the 24 hours awake mark, and I have a hangover. Just to be clear, are you claiming cocaine or sleep-deprivation as your alibi? When newbie Doms that make fool of themselves on threads realise they have made fools of themselves, they usually make up a plausible excuse for their bad behaviour. Then they try to work the pity angle! - LA I put him on hide. Thank god for that little button, it's an instant mood lifter!

LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:29:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne Just to be clear, are you claiming cocaine or sleep-deprivation as your alibi? If I was on coke you'd know because my every comment would be six of seven pages long. I am one verbose motherfucker on coke. I even get on my nerves when I do coke, that's why I haven't touched it in years. No, currently I am riding a huge emotional buzz from last night -- a dear friend of mine, the gal who gave me my dog years ago, unveiled my Christmas/birthday present (as an Aquarius I get a lot of that): a ball python with tank, lights, and all the fixins. That's like an $800 present. And I couldn't sleep because I was (am) too excited. She named him Kaa, and it's like she read my mind. But I also drank about three bottles of wine last night, and I took an oxycotin a few hours ago. I really don't know why I haven't passed out yet. So yeah, my rudeness and abrasiveness is a direct result of lack of sleep. It's harder to pretend I give a shit about other people when I'm tired. Takes energy to feign a basic sense of humanity. Normally I'd walk away from this conversation, but I've acquired quite a taste for a well-made mistake. I want a mistake, why can't I make a mistake? I'm always doing what I think I should, almost always doing everybody good. Why? Do I wanna do right? Of course. But do I really wanna feel I'm forced to answer you? Hell no. Nothing like trading in a shovel for an excavator... - LA

Lucienne -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:34:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne Well, aren't you just delightfully full of shit? As if you're not. Not really. quote: quote: Full of alleged insight as to the weakness of others but incapable of noticing that you're contradicting yourself from post to post. Easy to say, harder to prove. Again, not really. Hard to prove, that is. I understand that it would be a sisyphean task to prove to you that you're being silly, reductive and self-contradictory, but that doesn't mean others are equally obtuse. quote: quote: Welcome to the boards. I suspect you won't learn much, but you should be entertaining. Not from you I won't. People like you -- passive-aggressive clique joiners who hide their lack of reasoning facilities behind tired witticisms and rely entirely on consensus truth and superior numbers to badger those with differing opinions into silence. My witticisms are not so tired that they can't hold themselves erect and extend their full wing span to disguise the enormous reasoning facilities I have hidden behind them. The fire inspector has been by and everything. Would you like to see my inspection papers? Or maybe you can spend the time to read all my posts and re-evaluate whether or not I'm a clique-joiner and whether or not I require any assistance at all to badger whoever the hell I want. I realize it's not the most productive use of your time. But the information is there for the taking. As the only person here who is familiar with my posting history, your conclusion is laughable. quote: It's all there in your language, like this claim that I should be "entertaining" and your little call-and-response song and dance with LadyA. Perhaps you should read more and write less. You might develop a better grasp of things. You are entertaining. It's better than being an unmitigated asshole, or the guy who posts nothing but anal sex fantasies punctuated by emoticons. quote: It's the soft threat of social ostracism. It's the only weapon of sheep, of the herd. Becalm yourself, my good sir. I have no power or desire to affect social ostracism in this forum.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:35:39 PM)
quote: to wave your e-dick in my face It's not an e-dick! It's a 12" strap-on and it would make you squeeeeeel like a little piggy! So much for giving you an opportunity to redeem yourself. Good luck with your search here. I have a funny feeling you'll need it. - LA

Andalusite -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:38:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 Okay, but you're talking about role-playing. If two partners can switch roles back and forth, then neither is ever actually dominant or submissive. They're egalitarians, existing somewhere on the continuum between dominant and submissive. No, role-playing has nothing to do with it. I'm a slave to my Master, and a somewhat dominant Top with my female submissive playpartner. My first relationship was as a Domme for 5 years, and my previous relationship to my current ones was for 3 years as a submissive. I didn't switch with any of those individuals, though I have had egalitarian kinky relationships in the past (no D/s, just S/M and bondage whether or not we switched). People can have more than one relationship either over time, or concurrently. When I interact with someone in a dominant or submissive way, it feels very much natural to me, and extends to areas outside of play. To me, role-play is setting up scenarios such as animal play, play-rape, interrogation, etc. It's not really my thing, but I've made the occasional foray into it. As to your hassling SomethingCatchy about using the Dominant rather than switch label, quite a few people do so if they are only actively looking for a submissive or bottom partner, whether they are currently already someone else's submissive/bottom, or have been one in the past. Personally, I choose to identify as a switch regardless of my current relationship dynamic(s), but I have no problem with other people taking a different approach.

LadyPact -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 6:43:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy I'm all about self improvement, even if I am lazy and hard to motivate. I find people who work on themselves throughout their lives attractive and interesting to know. I could never be involved with someone who's at a stalemate and refuses to keep growing. I got this from mnottertail's profile - quote: However; in the real world, what I want...... is a woman who continually strives to better her appearance, presentation, sexual skill, grace, home, life, love, mind and self (HER BEING, HER SOUL) for the glory of HER master. I see where he's coming from wanting a woman that works on herself, but then I stumbled up on 'for the glory of her master.' I was always told, and have accepted, that self improvement, growth, and emotional maturity should be done for yourself in order to be happy. When I read this, my first thought was 'Why does it have to be for him?' I don't improve myself for other people's enjoyment, I do it so that my life is easier, better, more fun to live. I have never expected someone to continually change themselves to make me happy, and I've always thought that expecting that kind of thing could end up disastrous (and in my experience it always HAS been very very bad). Now I'm not picking on mnottertail, these are just the thoughts that the quote made me think about, and I wondered what others thought, too. I won't ask any specific questions because the only ones I can think of right now are very leading and reflect my personal opinion instead of being unbiased. Using fast reply just based on the original. I've said this before on other threads and I'll say it again here. Ron's got more going on between his ears than most people would think if they just read his flippant comments that focus on his desires between his legs. I am always encouraging My boy in areas of growth. Yes, this is for his own personal interest, but it benefits Me at the same time. In any area that he might improve himself, I also reap the fruit of his labor. I'd say the same thing in reverse. Doesn't My constant drive to be a better human being benefit him? Yes, I would still do these things, regardless of whether clip was My slave or not. Still, if I improve Myself by any means and I am a part of his life, it seems logical to Me that he would derive positives from it.

Andalusite -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 7:24:04 PM)
Psychonaut, I said relationships, plural. ;) I can certainly understand being confused, especially if you're a bit sleep-deprived, and it's entirely possible that I just phrased it poorly. I think that large constrictor-type snakes are beautiful and interesting, though I wouldn't want to have one myself. Have a happy birthday and a good Christmas. :)

LafayetteLady -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/20/2009 7:54:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 I think there is only one answer to the question of why someone would write "...for the glory of HER master." and expect a response from submissives, and that answer is "Because Doms who understand what they are doing understand that what submissives want is the sense of something outside of themselves that is greater than themselves, that will give them purpose and meaning." I'm submissive in my relationships and THAT is not what I want at all. I don't seek someone who will give me purpose and meaning. Certainly not "greater than myself" either. Quite frankly, I think that is a load of crap. In fact when someone approaches me with even the thought that they are "greater than me" and I need them to show me "purpose and meaning," they find out very quickly that isn't my belief. My life has purpose and meaning because I want my life to have purpose and meaning. I do what makes ME happy. Yes it makes me happy to make my SO happy as well, but not because he is something "outside of myself that is greater than me," or because he gives me purpose and meaning. I like making him happy because he also makes me happy.

SomethingCatchy -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 5:25:49 AM)
I think I actually miss Mal and his irritating [:)][:)][:)] I have gotten other points of view though, and I agree, LP, while I don't personally know him and have never talked to him on the other side, he's never struck me as a walking penis. My post wasn't meant to pick on him, just to bring something up that I didn't understand.

wisdomtogive -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 6:56:32 AM)
Self-improvement is a general area that has been a major element in my life since I can remember. With someone or not, I thirst for improving areas in my life. The ability to create a positive change is something that I honor. If there is something about me, that the person I am with would like to see change, I will. If there is something about me that I would like to change I will by myself or with help from whom I am with or with my friends or a professional. I dislike being stuck in old negative patterns and will not accept this in me, so self -improvement is a daily part of my life.

LaTigresse -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 11:14:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 The Tao says that if I take the blame, it leaves you holding the bag. So it's my fault. Hah! I win! My personal Tao says the prize you won is worth less than the bag she is holding. As for whether or not it is your fault you are coming across as an equine's posterior.... only The Shadow knows...

Lucienne -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 5:31:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 quote: I'm submissive in my relationships and THAT is not what I want at all. I don't seek someone who will give me purpose and meaning. Certainly not "greater than myself" either. Quite frankly, I think that is a load of crap. In fact when someone approaches me with even the thought that they are "greater than me" and I need them to show me "purpose and meaning," they find out very quickly that isn't my belief. My life has purpose and meaning because I want my life to have purpose and meaning. I do what makes ME happy. Yes it makes me happy to make my SO happy as well, but not because he is something "outside of myself that is greater than me," or because he gives me purpose and meaning. I like making him happy because he also makes me happy. Everything you just said is nonsense, nonsense loaded down with so many wrong assumptions and so much confused thinking it makes my head hurt. Simply put, we'd need a dictionary, an English teacher, and about a year of re-education before you could even begin to understand what complete rubbish just came out of your keyboard. That's interesting. About half her post is simply restating your words. In lieu of helping LafayetteLady understand how her post is rubbish, why don't you specifically state your objections to her post for the benefit of those among us who may be able to grasp them when plainly stated.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 5:32:36 PM)
quote: I'm submissive in my relationships and THAT is not what I want at all. I don't seek someone who will give me purpose and meaning. Certainly not "greater than myself" either. Quite frankly, I think that is a load of crap. In fact when someone approaches me with even the thought that they are "greater than me" and I need them to show me "purpose and meaning," they find out very quickly that isn't my belief. My life has purpose and meaning because I want my life to have purpose and meaning. I do what makes ME happy. Yes it makes me happy to make my SO happy as well, but not because he is something "outside of myself that is greater than me," or because he gives me purpose and meaning. I like making him happy because he also makes me happy. I think this is an incredibly healthy way to view submission. I said it before and I'll say it again, I refuse to be what gives a boy purpose and meaning. He has to have discovered this before coming to me. I'm not looking to be anyone's saviour. I've spoken with a lot of well balanced Dominants that have much experience with WIITWD and that seem to be the consensus. Of course there are those with the God complex, but they are usually they exception and not the rule. - LA

DesFIP -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 7:25:26 PM)
I agree with Lafayette Lady that some jackass presuming to be all knowing telling me how to grow is the last thing I'm interested in. And I agree with LaT about how psychonaut resembles a horse's back half. His condescension and sheer nastiness is getting really hard to bear with.

Dominasola -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 9:01:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 And what does submission require? Something to submit to. Something greater -- which is why its hard to find a submissive that will submit to just anyone. And in the act of submission, the submissive finds purpose and meaning. Thus it is reasonable to say that the submissive is searching for something greater than them that gives zir life purpose and meaning. I don't think that those who identify as dominant are "greater." Submissives and dominants are both still human born of equal biological capacities (generalization, I know); we aren't living in a Brave New World environment in which there are distinct physiological and psychological differences between epsilons and alphas. What makes the D/s relationship a symbiotic one is because the dominant personality in the relationship compliments the submissive one. In Taoism (or, more general Chinese philosophy), is the yin more important or greater than the yang? The two forces are interdependent on one another; yin brings about yang, and yang brings about yin. Submissives won't submit to just anyone, because not everyone possesses the qualities that compliment those of the submissive. I would never deny that the act of submitting provides meaning and creates purpose for a submissive, but they aren't searching for something greater than them; they are searching for something opposite to them of equal value that completes them.

Dominasola -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 9:35:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23 Ah, I think I see why there is a disagreement. You assume that the something greater I referred to, the thing that the sub seeks, is the Dominant. The Dominant is not the something greater. The Dominant is simply the portal the submissive seeks that something greater through. Ze is just a placeholder. The something greater is...enlightenment? As good a word as any. Or, perhaps, simply completion. A completed entity (not quite the word I'm looking for, but I suppose it will do) can be at peace with itself, and although enlightenment is, of course, an element of completion in many belief systems, I think that in a D/s relationship, the enlightenment is the moment of realization that all parties involved DO complete each other, and at that moment, they are suddenly able to work as a unit in complete harmony because of this awareness. Or perhaps I'm just getting too wishy-washy!

LadyAngelika -> RE: Bettering yourself for others (12/21/2009 9:47:58 PM)
quote: If you were a man, I'd accuse you of cowardice, but because you're a woman, I assume it's simply your nature. My my my... keep em coming. You will have managed to alienate everyone on this thread and before long everyone will be ignoring you. I totally approve of this strategy. For the record, you had the opportunity to come back and take the high road. Looks like you opted to be a jerk-off. At the very least, your behaviour serves as a horrible warning to any young woman who you might approach. - LA

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