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Drifa -> RE: Looking for some information - pleasure by association (12/22/2009 12:23:06 AM)
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I'm sure there are a lot of places that discuss the art of anal sex. Dr. Jack Morin's Anal Pleasure & Health is a very good book on the topic.
The key is that if you expect pain and tense up, you make pain. So you want to be very aroused to start. You need to be laying perfectly relaxed in a good position, draped over a footstool or over a large firm pillow. (Later, once you understand physically and emotionally how to relax, other positions are all good, but a position in which you have no tension in supporting any of your body is best for the beginning lessons, I think).
Next, your partner is going to use a ton of lube and tease and play with the anus, coaxing you gradually into relaxing. Penetration with a single finger or very slender small toy may follow, working up to two fingers. Eventually, as you start to open up naturally, your partner can place the head of the penis or dildo against the opening and just stay in contact. More teasing and stroking should be happening, and as you relax then you can set the pace of the penetration.
Once it's in, hold still a bit. Some people will tense back up once they're penetrated. When you've caught your breath and acclimated, then movement can commence. Keep it gentle, let the receiver set the pace and vigorousness of the activity.
There are a lot of sensitive nerve endings in the area, man or woman. I personally can come just from anal sex, but I have to have been very aroused to start with for that to happen -- i.e., have had one good orgasm by other means first, then teased back up to full arousal. It's better if your partner reaches around and provides direct clitoral stimulation during the anal sex.
Remember to keep adding lube as you play. It gets absorbed faster than you'd think. There is never too much lube.
For me as a submissive, anal sex is really submissive, because I do have to consciously relax and submit to it. I suspect there's a lot of taboo and transgression happening in my subconscious about it that makes it all the hotter along the way.
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