Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 9:48:37 AM)

No politics, no philosophy, no agenda; hopefully a fun topic.

I've always hated Christmas! (See that fun!)

My reasoning had nothing to do with traffic, shopping, or spending. It was more along the lines of dominance and submission. I can't remember a time when I enjoyed being required or forced to do anything. Christmas required me to submit to the season and dedicate energy and time thinking about the 'perfect' gift for everyone on my list.

That was problem #2.

Problem #1 was my damn thought process. I couldn't just get a gift-it had to be the 'right' gift. In years past I've driven miles (before the internet) to go to one store that was rumored to have 'Cabbage Patch Dolls', 'Simon', 'Care-Bears'. I did that for everyone in my life, but it turns out the memorable missions were always child related. One year - I organized a 'Dad's Posse' with people in my building who would pick up 10 of that year's 'essential' gift for our kids.

Problem #3 is I LOVE giving. I don't like waiting for the proper times, birthdays, holidays. If I see something for someone in my life, casual friend or close relative, I buy it. Ideally the person is with me to insure the right size, color, and insure my taste and style is acceptable to them.

Problem #4 - I'm terrible to buy a present for the same reason I love giving. As a selfish bastard if I need something or like something - I buy it. Is doesn't leave a lot for Santa to bring me. Problem #4B is that I'm a real bad actor. I appreciate the effort of giving me something, but if it's not exciting or 'cool' or something I need/want - you don't get a big reaction from me. However sometimes, like last year, I get something 'cool' and, even better, I didn't know existed. Last year it was the telescoping camera boom so I could take pictures of beth and I with a longer than arm focal length. I loved it! Right up until 'security' at the Frankfort airport stole it from me to prevent me from hijacking the plane. Yeah - they took that hollow light weight aluminum boom that telescoped from 8 inches to 4 feet; but my fathers solid 4 foot metal cane was fine.

But I digress....

That brings us to the question at hand. Christmas morning my joy is seeing people open up the stuff I got them. I love to see their reactions, hope that they are all positive, hope there isn't a disappointment in the color/style. Every year - everyone is done and I still have a pile of stuff I haven't even opened.

Where do you derive your Holiday Happiness? Are you a happy giver or a happier giftee?



EbonyWood -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 9:57:14 AM)

Short answer, sounds corny but much prefer to give something. Lower failure rate.
As a kid, I was a happy giftee.
 




flcouple2009 -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 10:03:25 AM)

I'm a happy giver.  Especially with loved ones or the um's.  Seeing the smiles on their faces makes me happier than anything I get.    



cpK69 -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 10:05:55 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth


Where do you derive your Holiday Happiness?



Keeping it short and sweet, to maintain the spirit; going home and having it feel like home (and that one shopping trip with Mom, is always an adventure).

Kim



LadyPact -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 10:23:16 AM)

Pfffft.  Submitting to the season.  LOL.  Dominant and giver here.  Why?  Because I want to!

Yes, I am very much the 'right gift' type.  Damn it, I want it to be just right.  I swear I was just writing something similar to a third party a couple of days ago.  There has always been one thing every year that was the exact right thing to track down.  Some of those very same things that were on your list there that were related to Me being a parental unit.  Somehow, every year, some kind of miracle happened and I found the last one on the shelf or made the decision to try some store that was a long shot.  It was always worth it, even when some fat guy with a beard was the one who got the credit.

As to problem four, I promise you that runs in our house, too.  MP is impossible to buy for because of the very same reason you describe above.  The problem that he has to deal with is the fact that it's very difficult for him to actually surprise Me.  (I think we told you this story in regards to the necklace that I always wear.)  I have a bad habit of knowing what he'll get Me.  Not because I snoop, it's just that I have excellent intuition.  (For example, during the writing of this response, the other half has called home twice and is in cahoots with the adult child and I'd be willing to lay money on the fact that he is calling regarding jewelery stores.  I just know.)  Unlike you, however, I'm more a 'from the heart' person.  I really don't give a damn what you gave Me.  If any thought was put into it whatsoever, I'm most likely going to love it.

Very much like you, I'm more interested in watching the present opening of others.  They've tried to instill a 'take turns' policy, but I'm too enchanted with the people that I love and the looks on their faces.  Even more so if we're talking about a little person.  The guy with the beard gets the credit, but I get the huge surprised look on the face and the gigantic smile on Christmas morning.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 10:38:02 AM)

Lady P -

We hope you and MP will have some time to take a trip to LA over the holidays. If you can and do - please let us know!

If not - we still hope to see you again real soon!

Merry Christmas!



honeygirl -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 11:16:22 AM)

I love giving gifts! Very happy giver right here. I do it year-round when I see particularly unique gifts for a particular person so one of my closets often have gifts already tucked away!

I recently read a post by Sunshinemiss that will definitely be useful in taking my organization of those gifts to a high level (the current level was about zero though, I must admit).



LaTigresse -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 11:30:22 AM)

Merc your description of yourself and your feelings could be a description of myself and my feelings. It just fits how I feel that perfectly.

Especially this...

"I can't remember a time when I enjoyed being required or forced to do anything. Christmas required me to submit to the season and dedicate energy and time thinking about the 'perfect' gift for everyone on my list."

I would be perfectly happy to skip right over Christmas. I love doing things for others, and giving gifts but I want to do it on MY terms, not because it is expected. And not to have others feel they must give me something or be upset that the perceived value is more or less.........so yes, I just detest this particular holiday. I just work really hard to convince myself I love it so as not to be a downer for the people I love.



VirginPotty -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 11:32:24 AM)

Count me in as a "Happy Giver"!
I do hate how Christmas is so commercial now. Growing up I LOVED Christmas & when I got a job I bought for everyone that ever crossed my path just for the sake of giving.  Now I only buy for immediate family & a couple of friends.
Thankfully I have 3 grandums so shopping for them is fun when I think of their expressions opening up the presents but other than that I can do w/o the commercialism of it all.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 11:56:01 AM)

quote:

Merc your description of yourself and your feelings could be a description of myself and my feelings. It just fits how I feel that perfectly.

Especially this...

"I can't remember a time when I enjoyed being required or forced to do anything. Christmas required me to submit to the season and dedicate energy and time thinking about the 'perfect' gift for everyone on my list."


LaTigresse,

You force me to disclose another factor going into my contempt. Okay not really contempt, I REALLY do love the thought of hosting a bunch of people this weekend - vanilla & flavored - having a great time, laughing giving presents; however there is another issue contributing to my anxiety of the season especially when I was young.

I had the misfortune of being born in December. As a result I got my birthday presents often given with the caveat; "This is your birthday AND Christmas present!" Even if it wasn't true - it put a little damper on both days. However the worst thing was when my uncles and other family member would give me cash for my birthday. My parents would say; "Wow-that's great! Now you can use that to buy everyone Christmas presents!" I remember one year having about $35. Never gave a thought about spending it on myself. Instead I had to go into junior business mode and use that as my budget for gifts to all the family and cousins coming over for the Holidays. Italian/Sicilian guilt is a impossible to ignore!

Now look - my childhood lacked for nothing. However, I'm sure those two very clear childhood memories contributed greatly to my feelings about the Holiday. I remember my favorite Christmas show was 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'; however I used to turn it off at the cliffhanger!

beth is now laughing hysterically! she's heard these stories before and now that she's been around my parents for the last few years appreciates that, if anything, they are tempered to be more positive than they seem. Now around our house the Christmas decorations do not come out until AFTER my birthday!



LafayetteLady -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 12:38:07 PM)

Personally, I have not enjoyed Christmas since my mother died. It is a horrible time of year for me no matter how hard I have tried in the past to make it better. I had "traditional" presents that I gave my mother every year - a Christmas sweater or sweatshirt, something "Dopey" (from Snow White), and a "Christmas Carol" movie. Needless to say as time went by, each became harder to find that I had already done (especially the Scrooge movies). But I really enjoyed looking for those items each year to find the unique one that we didn't already have. Now I've gotten rid of the sweatshirts and sweaters, but all around my house are things "Dopey" and a drawer full of the "Christmas Carol" movies. The only tradition left is that each year, typically on Christmas Eve, I watch all of the movies one after the other.

I was always the type that searched for the "perfect" gift, then would wrap it and make the bows that went on it. One year for my ex mother in law, I spent weeks cross stitching an Irish Blessing for her and then matted it and framed it. After she opened it and tossed it aside with barely a thank you, that was the last time I did that (except for my mother) I have never enjoyed receiving gifts from others. Not because I wasn't grateful for them, I think I am just often too fiercely independent for my own good.

As for the "Merc" type who already has or gets himself everything he wants, I usually would make something from the heart that might be appreciated. The very labor intensive type of foods that aren't cooked that often but are a favorite, baked goods or something knitted or crocheted. They might not be the "coolest" gift, but typically the things that are made with love are appreciated.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 1:43:58 PM)

I am both types.  The receiver side is a bit greedy but I keep her down.  I love my giver side much more. 

I give gifts from the heart, usually something I made.



LaTigresse -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 2:12:23 PM)

I have to admit that I love love LOVE getting presents!!! Just not so much the whole Christmas thing. I prefer 'just because' presents.



cpK69 -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 2:13:37 PM)

~ I meant~

I really like giving, and it sucks that I haven't been able to for the last few years.

I deal though, and the kids and I have our own shopping 'adventure' when 'income tax return' comes in.

Getting gifts is nice too, but more because I was thought of, instead of because I got something.

I really don't care for receiving gifts, when I believe they are being given out of a sense of obligation.

Kim



pahunkboy -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 2:29:47 PM)

I am in the little gifts for no reason at all camp.    I neither like to get or give gift on Christmas.   Why? It has become a stress thing.

Consider tho- that the most valuable thing you can give someone is your TIME.   Rich or poor- 24 hours in a day.  I go for those special moments that can not be planned.



windchymes -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 3:07:37 PM)

Not only do I love picking out presents for special people, I also go crazy with the wrappings.  I love pretty, sparkly paper and shiny ribbons, and I love coordinating them, matching or contrasting and deciding who would like which paper, etc.  It's almost obsessive, lol.

As far as receiving, I'm usually the one sitting in the corner with a few presents around me while I watch other people open theirs.  I get kind of embarrassed when I open them in front of people, why I don't know.  Someone will usually remember me when the flurry dies down and say, "Aren't you going to open yours???"



Level -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 3:42:19 PM)

When I get someone something that really, really makes them squeal with delight, then that's my favorite thing.



ShaharThorne -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 3:48:23 PM)

*gives Level some prime rib just for hearing him squeal*



rockspider -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 4:19:52 PM)

I don't hate cristmas it self. But i do hate what they have turned it in to. In 1954 Tom Lehrer wrote the song "A Cristmas Carroll". It is more apt today than it was then. In the midle of oktober when i hear the first Jingle Bell and receive the first cristmas catalogues i feel like going [sm=blasted.gif] to those storeowners. I wish we would boycot them totally just for one year and all just make something our self to give. Cristmas is about the family, cozyness and togetherness, not a competition who can buy and give the biggest gift. When i hear many people can't pay their rent because they overspend in december i get hopping mad. Well i only did overspend on one this year. The same as i have done it on for the past 13 cristmasses. If we didn't have cristmas she would have got it anyway[:)] My daugther of course



littlewonder -> RE: Holiday Gift Giving & Receiving - Which to you like better? (12/22/2009 4:25:49 PM)

I'd be more than happy to see Christmas just disappear.

Too much work, too much stress, too much money, not seeing those I'd rather spend more time with because they're off elsewhere with their families celebrating the holidays.

The only good thing about it is time off work.



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